I'm writing a letter to myself
Because I miss me.
Not the me you see
But the old me.
The me I yusta be.
And I can tell that I'm different.
I've lost the spark that I once had.
I yusta to be a brighter me
But now that's just a memory
I don't want to ever be
What I'll never be...
A part of me is in love with you loving me
But I'm too little to love.
So this may all just turn out bad.
I don't know what happened to you
I can't tell what you feel when you feel it
As if it's real
When you conceal it.
Just let it spill so we can deal with it.
I'm like a snapshot of a snapshot
Like a broken mirror and the glass is hot
Like a blue sky with a black spot
And my mind keeps reeling
Man, it won't stop.
Until my top pops
And the jaws drop
As the walls topple
As the doors flop
And he can't keep thinking
And I can't keep thinking that it...
Stop...
Just stop.
I miss my old heart.
The old part
That yusta love the world.
I yusta love waking up
Before the darkness unfurled.
I miss the fire in my eyes that used to burn
With a passion
I miss that old-fashioned reaction
To the smallest things that happened
In a fraction.
I miss the spiritual attraction
I would get in the blink of an eye to emotional transactions
Because now I'm just the ghost of a host
a broken remote.
And I can't fill the holes in this boat.
I'm choking on these words in my throat.
And on the shores of the coast
I'm driftwood
Just barely afloat.
So I've decided to write myself a note.
The one I should have wrote ten years ago
Before my soul broke.
Dear future Me.
Please don't take this letter too seriously
You probably wrote this shit deliriously
But you've probably seen more than I'll ever see
- being the future Me -
I mean the future us.
I mean the future we.
So I could never give you the warning this was meant to be.
But I pray that you don't make me a memory
And I pray that one day you'll remember me
And I pray that when you read this you will not be me.
Because now that I think about it
You never could be.
You'll always be a different you from the me that now breathes.
So I'm probably wasting my time writing to me...
Just...
Don't become bitter.
You've been through some tough shit
Don't be a quitter.
You have to stand for something
Don't be a sitter.
And when the monsters start to claw at you
Don't give them a quiver.
I can't tell you how the future is going to be
But you should know by now
Seeing how you're the future Me...
So if you ever find a time machine
And you get the chance to go back in time to me.
I beg you to destroy it.
Because if you try to save me from the pain
I'll never be as strong as you
I urge you to never deploy it...
No matter what you are thinking right now,
Regardless of if I'll enjoy it.
I can't avoid it.
So please never get yusta being what you yusta be.
Never let yourself become the old we
That "yusta be"
Change.
Smile.
Grow.
Learn.
Love.
Hurt.
Cry.
Wonder.
Laugh.
Live...
Just don't become what you won't become if you never get yusta what you yusta be.
Because that's the me that I don't want to see...