Chapter 38: Ren and shimo.
The rain fell in sheets, turning the streets into glistening rivers under the dim streetlights. Shimo hurried along, her umbrella battling against the wind. Her mind raced with worry as she thought of Ren, knowing he often walked home using this path and he didn't bring any umbrella. She rounded a corner and saw him ahead, a dark figure walking unsteadily along the sidewalk.
"Ren!" Shimo called out, relief flooding her as she reached him and grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the road, Saving him.
He turned to her, rain plastering his hair against his forehead, his expression a mix of exhaustion and resignation.
"Shimo?" Ren's voice was hoarse as he looked at her, confusion evident in his eyes.
"You were about to get killed..." Shimo said, her worry deepening. "Come on, you are drenched.. let's get you out of this rain."
Ren didn't resist as she guided him to her house. The warmth enveloped them as they stepped inside, the scent of tea and old books filling the air. Shimo helped Ren out of his wet jacket, her hands gentle yet urgent.
"Sit down," she instructed softly, guiding him to a chair by the window. "I'll get you some dry clothes."
Ren sank into the chair, exhaustion pulling at him. Shimo disappeared into another room, returning with a set of dry clothes and a towel. She handed them to him, her eyes searching his face.
"Thank you," Ren murmured, his voice barely audible. He accepted the clothes and towel, retreating to the bathroom to change.
His mind raced with many possibilities and some depressing thoughts but he knew that solution which made his sigh.
'I need to make my mind focus on someone else. Maybe shimo would be the best option I have. It would keep that shitty personality in check.' He thought as he changed into the clothes that shimo gave him.
He needed to make sure his adult personality stayed inside which is why he did such a immature act of falling in love with his teacher. To him , emotions are something that he can control without a problem. But he wanted to let these emotion control him. So that he would make others feel like he is an actual human. Because in his definition, a human who always control's his emotions isn't human at the very least.
As Ren emerged from the bathroom, Shimo motioned for him to sit at the small table. She served him tea and set a plate of food in front of him, her movements automatic yet filled with tension.
"You shouldn't have come after me," Ren said suddenly, his voice breaking through the silence. "I'm fine, Shimo. I can take care of myself."
Shimo froze, her heart skipping a beat. "Ren, I was worried about you," she admitted softly, her eyes pleading with him to understand. "I couldn't just leave you out there in the rain. And if I hadn't seen you , you would have died today."
Ren shook his head, frustration and sadness evident in his eyes. "Why do you care so much?" he asked, his voice tinged with bitterness. "Why do you keep trying to help me?"
Shimo's breath caught in her throat. 'Because I love you', she wanted to say. But the words remained unsaid, trapped behind the wall of guilt and fear she had built around herself. The words turned into thoughts.
They ate in silence, the only sounds the soft clink of utensils and the rain drumming against the windows. Ren finished his meal and began to clear the table, despite Shimo's protests.
"Let me do that," she said softly, reaching for the plates.
"No," Ren insisted, his voice firm. "I'll do it. You've done enough."
Shimo watched him, her heart breaking with each movement. She knew she had to tell him, had to confess. But the words remained lodged in her throat, her fear holding her back.
She watched Ren clean the dishes, his back tense with unresolved emotions. He didn't deserve this pain, this heartache. But she couldn't bring herself to talk with him, to undo what had been done.
'Whatever happened happened for good', she reminded herself, her justification ringing hollow in the empty apartment.
Ren finished the dishes and set them aside, his shoulders slumped with exhaustion. Shimo took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she had to do.
"Ren," she began, her voice trembling. He turned to her, his eyes weary yet searching.
"I have to tell you something," she continued, her hands trembling in her lap ,under the table. "About Yuuta-sensei..."
Ren's expression darkened, no sigh of emotions flashed on his eyes. "I don't want to hear it," he said quietly, his voice raw with emotion. "I don't want to know."
Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched Ren, his vulnerability a stark reminder of the pain to her about the pain she had caused him. She had to make it right, had to find a way to fix this. But she knew that a line was crossed, to her , ren had been hurt in a way that might never heal.
"I'm sorry, Ren," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of rain. "I should have told you after I had confered the rumors. Then..you wouldn't happen to be feeling this kind of pain."
Ren didn't respond, his silence a painful echo in the room. Shimo reached out to touch him, but he pulled away, his walls firmly in place.
She turned around and walked to her room. The sound of the calm and soft rain drops hitting the ceiling that is above her head was a Stark contrast to the storm that was blowing inside her.
As she walked away, Shimo thought she might had lost him. She had lost the one person who meant everything to her, the one person she couldn't live without.
The person who saved her many times , although unknowingly that is. She was always saved by him. But now , she wants to save him. Yet , she was pushed away.