Chapter 34 : My wish.
The date with Tokusake-kun wasn't that bad if I were to be honest I am quite happy with this date of ours.
'I have to say that it's a refreshing experience and the way he treated me , it was nice , I will say that he will be a fine gentleman in the future. '
I was currently walking into the supermarket to buy some groceries. There I saw people whom I didn't expect to see together.
It was the top student of my class , both of them actually. Both Yamashiro-san and Tarazune-kun were there , buying groceries and stuff.
The two of them were working together to get ingredients. Although it looks like Yamashiro was asking for Tarazunes help here. Which is quite unbelievable.
He was explaining which fish is good , which isn't. He told her to get the smaller cat fish because there wouldn't be a possibility about some chemicals in them. He also told her not to buy tuna from here. He told her that he knows where to buy some tuna with good qualities. So they just stopped buying fish with a small cat fish.
Then Yamashiro-san bought some chicken but Tarazune-kun told her that she shouldn't.
"What do you mean by that? Let's buy it. Oh~ you don't know how to cook it~." with a smug expression she said.
I know a fight is about to happen.
"No," he nodded his head , "We will buy chicken from the farm at fuchu , there we can find some good chicken so let's not buy the one which has chemicals used for storage." he said while taking the chicken from her hand and placed it where it belonged.
"Oh by the way someone is looking at us. Who might it be?" shit I got caught. Tarazune-kun is looking at it this way.
"Its sensei. You know mahiru sensei. Her."
"How are you so sure?"
" Intuition." she grinned.
"Am I right , mahiru-sensei?"
I got out of hiding because there was no reason for me to stay hiding.
"What are you doing here?" Tarazune asked , "I thought you were the type to eat convenience store food, was I wrong?"
"No you aren't. It's just that I am here for a new change of flavor and saw my students. I didn't know how to approach you two so I stayed behind. So don't mind me."
The two nodded their heads and walked away to the vegetable counter.
'..This made me tired...' I thought but something came in my mind , "Are they living together...?" I muttered to myself.
.
.
.
I am now walking towards my home. My heels making a cracking sound as I kept on moving my body and legs. It felt like I was dragging my body and for some reason I was really tired.
As I walked down the familiar path towards my home, memories flooded my mind like an unstoppable tide. The streets echoed with whispers of the past, each corner a reminder of the moments I once shared with him a man that I loved , a man with whom I wanted to spend time with–the man known as renji, the love I thought I lost forever. My heart raced with a mixture of apprehension and hope as I approached the doorstep where our love story began. Maybe because of the date today , I started to recall all those memories. Like crystal clear.
We met as neighbors. From neighbors to friends. From friends to a relationship. We were doing good but all of a sudden he disappeared.
I haven't seen him for 5 years including this year. I dated several boys but none of them made me feel the same way I felt with renji.
'First love is both beautiful and disgusting..'
The door creaked open, revealing the figure I never thought I'd see again. Renji stood there, his gaze meeting mine with a mixture of surprise and longing. His presence filled the room, casting a spell that drew me in despite my attempts to resist.
I felt the want to hug him , the want to kiss him , the want to make myself closer to him , the want to be covered with his warmth.
I wanted answers. I wanted the reasons. The reason why he left. His intentions behind the reason why erased himself completely from my life.
But I wanted to know if he had anyone else. Because if yes then I won't even mind it. I wouldn't mind if he came here to give me an invitation to his wedding with a beautiful girl. It wouldn't be far-fetched.
"Yuuta..." my name came out of his mouth , his voice soft and gentle.
He walked towards me and hugged me. It felt good. Extremely good. His muscles were great. They were strong , hard. The ones that gave a sense of security. But I rejected it.
I pushed him away.
He looked at me with a smile , a smile that showed that he was sad , that he regretted everything that he did.
"..Why...?" I asked him as he looked at me.
"Why did you come back, Renji?!" I shouted, my voice echoing through the empty hallway. "After all this time, after all the pain you caused, you just waltz back into my life as if nothing happened? Do you have any idea what you put me through?!"
Anger surged through me like a raging storm, but beneath it lay a deep undercurrent of guilt, threatening to pull me under. How dare he show his face after all these years, after abandoning me without so much as a goodbye? Didn't he realize the devastation he left in his wake, the countless sleepless nights spent crying myself to sleep, wondering what I did wrong?
But even as the fury bubbled within me, a part of me couldn't help but feel a twinge of longing, a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, he had come back to make things right. Was it possible that he regretted his decision, that he finally realized the gravity of his actions? That's what his eyes told me.
Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision as I struggled to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. Part of me wanted to lash out, to scream and yell and make him feel even a fraction of the pain I had endured. But another part of me—a softer, more vulnerable part—longed to reach out and embrace him, to bury my face in his chest and pretend, just for a moment, that everything was okay.
"Answer me, Renji!" I demanded, my voice trembling with emotion. "Why did you come back? What do you want from me now?"
But Renji remained silent, his eyes downcast as if he couldn't bear to meet my gaze. And in that moment, the anger and the guilt and the longing collided within me, leaving behind only a hollow ache where my heart used to be.
Without another word, I turned and fled, the sound of my footsteps echoing in the empty hallway as I sought solace in the sanctuary of my own solitude. Renji's presence lingered like a ghost, haunting me with memories of a love lost and a pain that refused to heal.
But deep down, beneath the layers of anger and guilt and longing, a tiny spark of hope flickered to life—a glimmer of possibility that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't the end of our story after all.
I didn't want to be only a chapter or volume in his book but I wanted to be the main character , the protagonist , where his story would resolve around me. Where I would get all the affection he can give. I know I am selfish but–
That's my wish.