"It was a date." I wore the clothes remembering what I had told Kate today.
I wore a white sparkling long-sleeved shirt, baggy beige lady maid trousers, and white Air Force, as I perfumed myself, looked at myself in the mirror, and checked my hair, wondering if I should have had a haircut.
Kate usually stares at me more when I have a fresh haircut, but I just shrugged it off as I went outside the room, took my phone from the table, and headed outside, closing the apartment door, and directing myself to Kate's room and just knocked, waiting for a response.
I had rented a car from a friend, and he had brought it before evening, so I knew the date was set and beautiful. And Kate came out, all charming and beautiful. She wore a black dress that had a slit all the way up her right thigh, and with her an elegant Black Hand bag, with gold rings and a gold-coated handle, light touch makeup, and well-groomed hair. She looked stunning, and it took all the self-control I had not to kiss her at that moment.
"You look stunning," I told her right after helping her close the door. I did not even ask her when Funky left. I just wanted this night to be ours.
It was the middle of the week, Wednesday. I would have preferred this to be Friday or Saturday, but it was okay with me.
As long as Dr. Kingstone gave me full-time work hours when on holiday, I always had something in my pockets, and of course, as a gentleman, I wanted to spend all this with my girlfriend and no one else. I had no luxuries; all my mind thought of was work, work, Kate, and the child. Especially the child.
On arrival at the car, I opened the door for her, and I made myself comfortable in the driver's seat. I knew I was not familiar with the car, but I was sure of its working since he had offered it to me some time back. James was his name. We never spoke much; he was more of a car dealer, so our conversation was mostly car-based. I hoped Kate was still not angry at me, but I did not want to speak about our previous conversation. I was not ready to destroy this date. I wanted to take her downtown to a hotel, maybe eat her favorite Turkish meal or anything she wished. Sushi was obvious, but I just wanted her to try something different, or fries or something. So on arrival at this hotel, I did not check its name quite well, but I was sure it would bear with a student's middle-class rich young adult. I parked the car right after entering the gate and let myself out as I headed to the passenger door to let my queen out.
God, I felt like a god at this moment.
This was all I thought about every time I eyed her from my apartment to hers when she used to have little to no knowledge about me.
We entered, of course, and I felt a little bit gracious when I saw how men observed the girl. It felt like if I just let her slip, she would surely move on even before I think of healing first.
'God, I love her', I stated beneath my breath as we headed upstairs to the corner-most seats, where the lighting was a little bit darker and somehow romantic, out of the different lighting from the side lighting bulbs.
"It's beautiful," I stated, as I opened her seat for her and kissed her left cheek, then headed to my seat. But before I sat, I saw a rose flower on the next table's vase, a plastic one though, I headed there, took it, and just came and gave it to Kate, as she laughed at my act. I similarly sat down smiling from my act when the waiter arrived to ask for our order. She ordered fries and turkey, and I requested the same too. It would be beautiful to eat the same food. I wished we would just have a cameraman to take pictures of us, and that's when I took my phone and opened the Snapchat app and just took in what we were doing as Kate made her cute smile and the chill sign girls made.
And that's how we started filming our lives.
I would just randomly film her talking on the phone, screaming, or even just cuddling with me.
Anyway, after the food was brought, I first made sure we finished all of it and then requested some wine, when I remembered Kate was expecting, so I just sought water. Then I started randomly,
"Kate, I, am, I love you so much," I affirmed. "I would do anything for you. Of course, (cleared my throat, then) I can't promise heaven, but I can literally bring heaven to you. I know it's tough in the beginning, but come to think of it, I will become a doctor, and you shall become a designer, and I shall have other businesses, we become tycoons, and conquer earth, travel of course. I know you like modeling, and this, and you feel this has somehow cut off your dreams. Please just do not think much about it, there are other ways you can model, your designs can do the modeling for you, it does not have to head this way." I finished as Kate drank the water, listening to me carefully.
"I have overdue rent," she stated out of the blue.
Of course, after we broke off for the holiday, just some days had passed, I think two or three or four, of course, when students start heading home the tenants and landlords start flocking around searching for rent and replacing those who have nothing to go live in the school hostels, but when the school is closed, evacuation begins. Although I am not sure what happens for the international sponsored students.
"How much?" I asked her as worry was written on my face.
"For this month, I haven't paid. The caretaker has issued me three warnings," and I felt a little bit concerned. I never knew what her parents did; I never actually asked her. "I used the money," she finished.
"You used your last month's rent?" I questioned, and she just nodded.
"My roommate paid hers first and then mine. I screwed up," she stated. I never knew she even had a roommate.
"You had a roommate?"
"Yes, the rent is crazy alone."
"You can stay at my place. Luke comes once in a blue moon, and he can chill on the sofa, so it's fine."
"Thanks," was all she stated,
and from there, we just shifted and started living together like a married couple.
****
After the date, of course, the next day became the shifting of things. I worked hard to try and cover up for Kate's mistake by sending the landlady a little something at the end of the month to at least help Kate finish her rent.
A week turned into months, a month turned into two, two turned into three, and the more the months passed, the bigger her belly became.
Of course, it was almost the return of the school semester.
About the abortion pills, she did not speak about them later after that day when I told her we could live together. So we stayed together, filmed each other, filmed our day, took pictures, and posted on our Instagram pages. That's how our coursemates, our friends, and everyone knew that she was expecting. But I still had not told my mum. She would for sure kill me. She always stated clearly that she needed no kid around until everyone finished school. I knew it was all for the best, but now, I had already accepted the child, already accepted my fate, and already planned my future with Kate.
Funky visited all the time, bringing her gifts, and I appreciated that at least she had friends who cared. He was super caring and loving, at least giving her a shoulder when I was working hard for her so that we would not end up on the streets. I needed to push myself; I needed to be the man that my child needed. I needed to be the father that mine never became, or better off, that I never got to experience. I wanted to be available for every step, every journey, so I knew I would marry her. I would make the biggest wedding, with me as a doctor and she as a designer. It would be beautiful. So six months passed since our date, and the child was already eight months old, so I knew she was due.
She had become much more tired. The child kicking was my favorite time; it just made me a little bit emotional and more driven.
***
Today was a Friday, of course. It was more of practical, operating on the deceased for experience, and then heading to the chemist, playing my shift, and then heading home. I was currently heading straight home from my practical. I texted Dr. Kingstone stating that I needed to at least surprise my girl, especially now that she was about to deliver. So I bought some flowers and her favorite milkshake, one she never lost craving for, despite her having different cravings every month as the pregnancy progressed. The scan stated I was set to have a boy. I did not have enough to give her the best baby shower, so I just called her friends, and we cut some cake celebrating the child.
As I arrived near my door, after climbing the stairs, of course, a familiar feeling of anxiousness and fear, followed by a cold slick sweat, overcame me. It was around two in the afternoon. My practicals finished around twelve, then I moved around buying things and then coming home, of course. But I was suddenly scared of entering the room, so I knocked first and then opened it.
A middle-aged woman stood by the door, hands on her hips, and Kate stood there as if trying to explain. I came in, closed the door, and removed my shoes, standing there not knowing what to do.
"And you? Are you the husband?" she asked, and my head shifted.
"Her mum?" I thought, I had never prepared to speak to her parents. All I did was imagine our lives, but never the lives of who brought her up or who cared for her. "Do you know the university lecturer called to tell us that Kate has not attended any classes?" she added, addressing me. She was eyeing me as if she would slap the hell out of me. "And where are you from?" she suddenly asked.
"Chicago," I stated.
"She told me you are from New York, and which state is your father the mayor?" she asked, and I was more surprised than by her being here. I did not know my father. We never even spoke about our parents; we just lived.
"I... my, father... eeeh..."
"They live here and Chicago," Kate stated, closing an eye on me to lie. But I was the worst liar in town, if she just knew.
And then, before I spoke, my phone started ringing, and my mum's ID showed up. She never called; it was always me who called her in the evening when I was leaving work.
"Answer it," the lady said. "And I am not talking to you, young lady."
Her mother was tough, making me too nervous to know how to press the green dial. So she took the phone off my hand and just answered it.
"Hello," she stated, pressing the loudspeaker. She sure knew a lot about phones.
"Hayzen, are you there?" my mum started, with her soft voice as she always called me.
"It's not Hayzen, but I have news, darling," the lady stated softening her voice.
My mother could not know about the news. She would flip. I would break all her hard work over the years. She would feel as if everything she had been building had crumbled down. She would feel unworthy of my trust. So I unexpectedly just took the phone off the lady's hand, and the next thing I knew was a slap coming directly into my face. I'm sure I had bruises. And with that, she dragged Kate, entered the room we shared, and took her suitcases and bags, as I stood there letting them leave, not knowing what to do. I just crumbled down onto the ground right after they left, as I heard my mum speaking over and over. I just answered,
"Mum, I... Mum, I fucked up. I am going to be a father, Mum," was all I stated. The next thing I knew was me hanging up and tears welling up on my face more like a little boy. It was like all the fear, all the surprise, all the wonder, all the processing just came in at one moment, and I just lost it.