Weeks passed, my interaction with Kate...
'surreal'... The only single word I would state.
Today was the 17th week on our semester calendar, and it was a weekend.
These days, I loved weekends more than anyone else.
I loved them more than the next drunkard.
I waited for them more than a government official.
I waited for them just because I knew one thing.
Just because I knew... I would find Kate, and I would spend the day with Kate.
So, yes, she was here, and we were just lying on the couch that Luke had bought from the pay off his shows or better yet gigs.
Her head laid right on my chest. I liked her like that, seeing her like this... like this.
She was busy on her phone, not sure what she really was doing, but I was just reading one of the anatomy books.
The exams, of course, were approaching. I needed to be sharp.
However, my thoughts shifted every time this girl shifted.
It was not easy to concentrate with her here. It really was not, and not that I did not want her here. I did, but her looks subjected me to thinking a lot and wondering a lot.
I had not yet made a move on her. One thing most men would bury and angrily laugh at me for.
I just did not know if she was ready to really engage. As for me, I was. I really was. I was down for anything, especially now that I was with someone with whom I really saw a future…, a future with.
"Do you chill at Billy's?" I asked out of nowhere. This was something I had placed onto myself since that one heated argument we had with those three men in our class.
"What do you mean?" she asked, shifting her head slightly to look at me, her head still on my chest; as I slightly enclosed my big-paged anatomy book and placed it on the back of my head to help as some pillow or sort.
"We once... I mean... Billy... do you chill?" I asked again. I did not know how to place the question, but it seemed I was a little scared of the answer. If she said yes, I don't know what kind of thoughts would occupy me. Maybe thoughts of her ever being laid by those men. One thing I really wanted was a woman with whom those men had never touched nor kissed, not even if they ever laid eyes on her.
Currently, she just looked at me and glanced at her phone once more, and then up at me.
"Zen, you are working yourself up," she stated.
"Okay... I... um... I just... nothing," I wanted to tell her about the argument, that argument, when they heard that I was dating her. I know a hell of a time had passed, and I should have asked her about this earlier, but I just did not want to light out this fire we had. I feared she would be sad and just leave and tell me that I was being insecure or something. I would do just anything to have her stay. I really would.
"Why? Did he say something?"
"No, it was just some random thought," I stated. It was really hard for me to keep this, but I needed not to ask her an honest opinion. But I know with this in me, I would still be in question of her.
"Okay…" she started, sat down, and looked at me. "Before, we… you and I met, Franky… Funky, as you call him, we had something…" She paused, observed me as I also made myself relax, as I was not sure if I really was ready for the answer, or the truth being told.
"What… something? What do you mean?" I asked…, relaxing my jaws, feeling as if they were tensing up.
"We… almost dated… but we never did anything. I promise, Zen… you just came by, and I became used to you just giving me some stares, and I just waited for you to really approach, so I just cut it off.., I cut it off with him…. I needed you not to think I had someone, I just… but you just never approached," she stated, and I felt a little taken aback, and my heart became light.
"You wanted me to approach?" I asked again, smiling from ear to ear.
God, I was happy.
So she noticed…, so she noticed the little stares.., But I was not staring that much.
This just made me even forget about Funky and Billy's talk.
"I thought you liked me, but it seemed you never did approach…" She added, I wish she knew what was in my mind, I just smiled wildly, I would kiss her hand right here…,
"I was planning. I was like planning the whole thing." I stated, but..,
Truthfully, I never even had a plan, and I never knew I would ever approach. I was more of love someone from afar person. Approaching was something I was not sure about, especially the fact that my courage sometimes seemed to lower when I was face to face with a beautiful girl or someone I liked.
Furthermore, then, I just… I just never thought of love as love. I did not know what love was really.
"You were planning?" she asked, and then made a little laugh as she pushed me a little to sleep facing up, and she lied on top of me, and we faced each other, our noses almost touching. She was more of a leader in things, and I never really minded. So she just looked at me, and I knew I would not hesitate to look at her lips. It was long since I kissed her, after asking her to be my girlfriend. I just wanted to really know her before I initiated any physical touch, and now I knew a lot about her.
"Do you know how much I knew about you then?" I asked, observing her, as she just raised an eyebrow, wanting me to continue. My voice was now soft and a little deep, one voice she alone enjoyed.
"I knew you had girl friends only.
You did nails on Sundays.
You did laundry on Saturdays, and all cleanings.
You liked your hair in a bun.
You had a full-day facial routine, mostly on Fridays after your outs…"
Before I could even continue, she lightly brushed her lips with mine, and I stared at her lips, missing the feeling of her softness on my lips. I wonder how mine tasted, but I just raised my left hand and slightly, with my thumb, ran my hand across her lips, looked at her eyes, her lips, her eyes, and then kissed her…, It now became a war of domination. Most times I let the older women dominate in my past life, but now I needed to show her that I was a man.
It was evenly, not showing her much, but proving to myself that I was man enough to hook a girl and make her breathless. So I let her stay on top a little and then steadied myself as my muscles took in her weight and then rose steadily from the couch with her legs wrapped tightly on my waist, and her face looking at my lips as if I were the only thing she needed this whole time.
I never knew a girl, especially her, would ever look at me this way, but all I thought of was, what next…
One thing went to another, The removal of clothes,
The steadiness and fight for dominance of lips, The surrender of her lips onto mine,
Her breathing, that seemed to want more than what my fingers were doing unto her,
The little moans from her,
Until we were left with the one swimsuit God gave us, and all I was left with was to devour the moment with her in my bed.
No girl had ever been laid onto this bed, not one.
'The first of my age' was what I had in mind.., 'the first girl.., how lucky.
My body was shaking, my hands were shaking, restlessly lacking the better part to touch, as every part I did had the same impact on her.
Is it her neck?
Her belly?
Her body?
So I just devoured the moment, kissing her from the northernmost part to the southernmost, exploring her as I do to my favorite creamed cake.
And then I felt her whimpers, her rising and falling chest, as I laid on top of her as I steadied myself to be inside of her…, fully inside of her.., to make her forget about my hands, but to embrace my whole being,
whoever I was, just me.
And I slowly slid in, and her little "humpph" when I first found my way in.
And she embraced me as I slid in and out in unison to her breath.
I did not want to hurry her; I just wanted her to feel this, to feel me as much as she did to me.
My eyes were watery.
They never were this watery when I was with others, but today, they just felt all this.
My emotions could be measured as highest in addition to the temperatures of this room.
And in one thrust, I held her tight with my arms around her as I let myself come and fill into her. Thoughts of protection were not in my mind…, not this time..,
She was. She was the only thing that was.
"I love you, Kate," I stated as I steadied myself, kissing her lips one last time, as I laid myself on her side.
"Aaahhh...," my mind recalled.
"Thankyou Kate..," I stated, not knowing what I was thanking for,
I just wanted to say thankyou..,
I wanted to embrace her,
I wanted to kiss her again,
I wanted to tell her I love her..,
So, I just lay my head, facing up the ceiling, as I sensed she had already slept form the little snores from her nose,
I really had worked her..,