I lay after waking up in this bed for more than thirty minutes. It was more of a contemplation than anything else. Elvis had called to notify me that he was to bring the car in an hour, and he and I were yet to have a lengthy conversation. Aaliyah was still glued to the speaking television, watching some show. I don't want to remember the last time I watched the screen, but it was some years back. Anyway, I just listened to whatever she was watching as she laughed accordingly and evenly to what was being said. I had not even asked a lot about her.., I barely new a lot; I saw no need to, and she too did not ask much about me. It was more of a flowing river, not daring to touch scars, but I knew soon she would touch them, as she was already digging deep, she really was.
After a lengthy thinking time, I rose from my bed, removed my shirt, which seemed to take forever getting out some hours ago when I was jumping into this bed, and made myself comfortable with a white t-shirt and grey sweats. As I stated, I had a lot of sweatpants, really many, a remembrance of my college years.
And I left for the outside. She was seated there, on the largest couch, with a large bowl of popcorn that was half empty. I did not want to distract her though, so I entered the kitchen. There was some food left in the fridge. I warmed it with the microwave, then brushed my teeth, in unison. I believed she was not hungry, as she did not eat anything, so I just served myself and sat on the next couch that faced hers.
"What movie?" I asked her, trying to engage in conversation.
"It is about vampires," she stated, seeming not to know the title, one thing I did not expect from her. She seemed the type who took a real keen interest in…, the smallest of details.
"Don't you have classes today?" I asked, observing her reaction.
"Are you chasing me?..., away.., already?" she asked, grinning, and I vigorously shook my head. "You even served yourself food alone... strictly bold alone," she added, and I suddenly felt really embarrassed at my action. With her was a bowl of popcorn, my money was everywhere, for whatever she needed. Why was she being extra? I found myself questioning.
"I thought you already had yours," I stated as I rose, warmed the leftover food, and came and offered her.
"Mmmhh... tastes good," she stated, making a little chuckle.
"Aaliyah," I started, as I sat down, took one gulp of water that was next to me, and started again, "Aaliyah…, I really need to talk to you."
"Mmhh…," she stated, her eyes much more focused on the food than on what I was saying. It was some rice and a little beef she had prepared, the previous night I guess. I just don't know. It was in the fridge.
"I am not... I am Hayzen, and I am a doctor." I was stuttering, not knowing why. Truth is, I wanted to tell her that I was emotionally not in a very well condition, but the last girl with whom I saw a future with.., I mean one of the many girl's I had interacted with a little, made me fear stating such words to a person. When I told her I was emotionally unavailable, she ghosted me the next day, and left me swallowing in my emotions, wondering how she would not at least bear with my unavailability until maybe some day when all this fog shall be over. I will be available for her and everything.
"What I mean is…" I struggled to say, unable to articulate the truth. The truth that I am barely hanging on, someone who views life from a different angle, someone who is emotionally unstable, someone whose past is crowded with pain and suffering, someone who just…
"What I mean is, I am happy you are here. It was getting a little bit lonely," I stated, a bit honestly. I was indeed happy she was making herself comfortable here, but I feared she would uncover more truths about me that I buried deep.
At least she had changed the T-shirt. She now wore her beautiful attire from yesterday when we went shopping. I should have offered her one of my sweats; they would fit her well anyway.
"Aren't you mad I watched those videos?" she asked, bringing back the forgotten topic.
"They are just videos," I stated quickly, not wanting her to continue with the topic.
"Who was that girl… your ex-gir—"
"Aaliyah… you should eat your food; it shall get cold. And watch the movies. How was your night?" I interrupted, diverting the conversation away from topics I preferred to keep to myself, known by none but me and those who have walked the paths of life with me.
"The night was awesome," she stated, giving me a look of disbelief that girls gave when you changed the topic of their concern. I would sure love to share the story behind the videos, but I found nothing of importance in them. Whatever was of matter to them… whatever was important… I just wasn't in the mood for such stories.
"Did she deliver?" Aaliyah added, and this made me stand and head outside to the balcony. I didn't know why her questions were affecting me. I should have been ready to deal with these kinds of things, but I just… I preferred someone who didn't talk so much sometimes. I stayed there, outside on the balcony, my hands on the rails, watching the large buildings of San Francisco. The city was beautiful. It glittered with greatness and prosperity, not an even sound of mourning or pain.
"The past is painful sometimes…" Aaliyah started, not realizing when she came next to me. I just looked at her and hurriedly headed inside, sitting on the couch. I really needed her to shut up, or my anger would become a little bit uncontrolled.
"Hayzen…" she added…, after following me inside.
"Aaliyah, the number one rule in this home is never to ask questions about the past. The second rule is never to tamper with videos that are put on parental control. Number three, watch only Netflix and YouTube; whatever is in the USB has nothing to do with you. Number four…" I wanted to continue, but the door knocked, and I assumed Elvis had appeared.
"Number four?..." Aaliyah questioned, but I looked at her. In moments like these, my eyes hated these interactions, where someone made me rethink things and remember things. I hated the fact that she would make me regret what I just said; my thoughts always made me have the hardest of monologues when alone, filled with regret and what-ifs.
So, I just ignored her and went to the door, opening it.
"Dude," Elvis stated as he helped himself in. It was funny how he already mastered my apartment in just one day of being here. He always knew this residential area; he knew I lived here, but the apartment was what surpassed his judgment. I barely wanted him to ever know that, my room number... I used to live way worse than today, like a dog or someone who would barely be described as a doctor... ironic, right?
"Elvis, help yourself," I stated as I closed the door and entered the washroom, hearing the two siblings speak to each other. I was scared of Elvis, truthfully. He was a marine... he spent hours fighting with sharks, so what about me?
"Hayzen, we leave now," he added suddenly, even before I left the washroom. So I quickly flashed the toilet, washed my hands, and headed outside. The apartment wasn't really big, just a two-bedroom house.
"Now?" I asked him, and he nodded.
"Aaliyah is leaving with me, and before that, I need to speak with you," he stated, thickly stretching the word 'you'.
"Me?"
"Yes, dude. In the evening, at some bar, let's meet there. I need a one-on-one with you," he said, and I looked at Aaliyah.
"Elvis…" Aaliyah started, but her brother shushed her by raising his hand. As I had stated earlier, I knew not much about Elvis. I knew nothing about the girls he liked, nothing about his hometown unless currently via Aaliyah, nothing about why he joined the marines, nothing about why he liked very low music, reason why he liked water more than sugarly foods, I knew barely nothing about him, and a lot more. But one thing I was sure about: no brother lets a man mess with his sister, and I knew he would have a lot to tell me. But the surety was, I had not yet read her sister's scriptures, or better of, I had not yet…,
I guess I should put some distance between Aaliyah and me... but... I don't know.