Meeting Aaliyah was not part of my plan. It was not, especially with her brother here.
First, I was scared; brothers would do anything to protect their sisters from any man, even their friends.
Second, the bond which I wanted so much to ignore between me and her meant it would grow stronger. These were the circumstances. These were everything I hated doing.
"Marine's bag, check. T-shirts should be shade brown or green... okay…" Elvis was checking everything and making sure it was all in order. It was already five pm, and I really needed to leave. I really needed to.
"Elvis, I really gotta go. Time, my schedule…," I started, but he was too focused on everything that was being placed into the large box by one of the workmen. However, Aaliyah heard, and she looked at me. As I stated earlier, she was beautiful. She really was. She was exactly my type... exactly.
"Brother hates distraction," she whispered, being the first time we talked... note the first…, I really mean the first time.
"What do I do?" I asked, as if being desperate. As I had stated earlier, one thing I was super cautious about was my job. I knew how many people needed me in there, and dragging meant far worse consequences than even losing a job. Losing a job was of no matter to me. I really cared little about that. What mattered was saving a life. That was something that literally boosted my ego.
"Elvis..." Aaliyah shouted, making Elvis face us with a very angry expression.
"I need to leave; I have the night shift," I stated.
"Dude, we barely began; you should have told me, man," he stated, and I felt a little bit remorseful. I knew he was stressed out of everything. It was always something of expectation. Knowing you are going to another country for a curtained war meant really a lot. It really did.
"Let Aaliyah come back with the car; my shift is until tomorrow morning anyway," I stated, without even thinking. I did not know she knew how to drive, but who the hell would be in her twenties in today's generation without knowing how to drive, and without having a driving license?
"Ah, with my sister?" Elvis asked, raising his eyebrows. "She's hell of a granny driver, but I trust you, man. Go then."
With that, we left with Aaliyah, letting her have the seat where Elvis was, and I on the driver's.
"How does it feel being a doctor?" Aaliyah started, right when I started the engine.
"Crazy, but beautiful," I stated. Mostly I would reply with crazy only, since I hated any talks in cars especially with a girl, but with Aaliyah, I just felt like adding something beyond my comfort zone.
"You going with sweats?" she asked, and I'm sure she was checking me out as I eyed the road.
"No, I have my clothes, my changing clothes, at the back, in the bag," I stated, and then silence chimed in after. It was comfortable at one moment, but in the next, it felt more like a graveyard, or rather somewhere punishing to be. I don't know why I was suddenly nervous. I could feel my hands sweaty even from holding the steering wheel, so I just started some music to at least ease the tension.
No one still spoke even after the music, so I decided to just look at Aaliyah a little, and just as I looked her way, our eyes stared at each other, and hell, my heart broke at that moment. I do not know how fast I left the gaze, but all I know is that I nervously tapped on the steering wheel, trying to ease the thoughts in my brain.
'Jeez, Hayzen, how could you divert your eyes like that?
Are you dumb?
What will she think of you?
What if she is looking at you?
Stop tapping the steering so fast, tap with the rhythm steadily…, the rhythm of the music man'
Man, my mind was working up, and I knew the truth is, if I were to be given a chance, I would stare at Aaliyah for a long time. I really would just stare at her as if she was one of my lost things that I cherished so much. But this was something I had realized I did whenever I found myself with a girl with whom I felt a certain connection. I would just stare at her to make sure that I missed out on nothing, but there was nothing in the girl's face that would make me still want to commit. Even if I stared the whole day, I would just end up stating words like:
'I liked her smile.'
'I liked her hair.'
'I liked the set of her teeth.'
'I liked her eyes.'
But it never became 'I like and want, and I will chase.' Chasing and wanting were always separate from the word 'like.' It even became harder for me to figure out what I even wanted. Was it love, or was it enjoyment?
I knew I wanted love. Everyone wants it. The lonely nights, you know, when you are with your lover or.., when you have no one to embrace you. I did. Yes, I did notice them. Those lonely nights. The nights when, even if I had brought home a girl in my drunk state, I would still feel something was missing in my life. I would just leave the girl sleeping and head out to the balcony, and let my thoughts sink into me. The thoughts of never finding love and never finding one who would fill the puzzle left unfilled inside my heart.
One who would finally make my cold heart melt again.
I made the signal for my entry: Saint Francis Memorial Hospital, the hospital's name embraced us, as I entered. I had never brought someone to my workplace, not even Luke, not even Elvis, not even any of my past lovers. Aaliyah was the first, but that did not bother me as much as the fact that at the moment, I did not know if I had the courage to make eye contact with her. I was not sure why I was this nervous and this closed off. I used to be confident. I used to be confident, I told myself over and over again as I parked the car, opened my door, and heard Aaliyah too head out.
"Great hospital," she stated, and then added, "Doctor Hayzen."
I swear I was supposed to laugh at that. I wanted to laugh, at least to make it less awkward, but no one had really regarded me as a doctor before, who made me feel this way today, as if it was an honor or certificate.., thanks to Aaliyah I guess..,. I don't know.
"I have left the car keys inside, uh, in case it runs out of fuel, uh, at the lower drawer on the dashboard, there is a lot of cash. In case of the police, you know what to do. I will call you when my shift ends," I stated as my eyes shifted from north to south, east to west, with nowhere to rest. Of course, they had somewhere to rest, but I never knew where they would rest at. Truth is, my eyes never lie, and there was this crowded emotion in me. It was already hurting my being and my heart for just being here and having her small and fragile in front of me. Whatever she was doing to me, I hope it is a passing wind.., because I am not sure if ready was a word I conformed to.
"Is that how you talk to patients?" she asked, and I made eye contact with her (for the first time). Her eyes were hazel now, with the setting sun rays.., reflecting and gradating her face into shiny and glowing skin., the light color I liked. It was like at the moment time stood still, and then,
"Mh… mh…," someone interrupted, and I looked, at my back to see who it was.., Doctor Ferguson.
"Doctor Ferguson, pressure to see you," I stated as I extended my hand onto him, totally trying to ignore what had just happened and enclosing the distance between the doctor and I, as I the distance enlarged a little between Aaliyah and I.
"You seem a little underdressed," he stated, and I remembered I needed to change.
"My clothes are in the car. I will change," I stated as he nodded, heading to his big Jeep car. He was a old man, almost kissing his late sixties if not sixty., he only spoke to a few stuffs. One of the doctors who deserve appreciation by the world, he has had almost eighty percent success on his surgery shifts than any other old doctor I know.., a true neuro surgeon, he always scolds me why I did not major in his course. He always does..,
Looking back to see if Aaliyah was there, she seemed to have entered the car. So I just opened the back door and started changing, not caring if Aaliyah was there or not. White shirt, black well-ironed trousers, necktie, and a fitting white lab coat that reached out to my knee length. It was quite long. I'm sure if Aaliyah wore it, it would sweep the floor or kiss her ankles. I liked short girls. That's something I was a sucker for. I knew.
"Let me," Aaliyah stated as I stood outside the car, tucking in the shirt and fitting the belt onto my waist, "Let me help you with the tie," she clarified, and I gave it to her to tie it for me. Then I wore it. I was not sure if I wanted to ask her if it was perfect, but I just... I was just nervous with her. Maybe being single sober for this long had made me this way.
"Okay, I will call you when my shift is over," I stated fast, as if I wanted her to leave. It was like I was sending her away, but she looked at me.
"Your tie, Hayzen," she stated and fixated it well onto the center of my snow-white shirt. I wanted to say thank you, but those words seemed not to fit onto my vocals, so I just looked at her, opened the backdoor, took my bag pack, as I threw unnecessary things on the back of the car, till all that was left was my lab coat and stethoscope.
Then I closed the door. 'How do I tell this girl bye?' I found myself in a dilemma, but my phone had already started ringing. I was sure the office was calling for me.
"Aaliyah…," I stated, I wanted to say, have a good day, good night am leaving.., but I just stared at her, placing the little bag hanging on one of my shoulders.., and then just left…