(Asaka Point of View)
Over about two weeks, I see that my darling is sleeping a lot but I guess that is just because of everything. I have been feeding him three meals a day and he does seem to be warming up to me, which is good. He hasn't been asking me to remove the tape. He has been so good for me. I have gotten the hooks up slowly as I let him go to the bathroom. He has been so good for me. We have had some conversations. He is getting so much better. I have had to work a lot but everything is working out. He is being so good.
I walk into his room and I see he is sleeping again. I carefully remove the table before attaching one of the leashes to him and then putting it on the hook. I give him a kiss on the forehead before walking out into the kitchen to make a meal for us. I make pancakes, coffee, french toast, bacon, eggs, bread, butter, honey, milk, apples, and porridge. I tried to keep it a traditional Slovenian breakfast but it didn't seem like enough so I made more. Hopefully, he likes it. After all, I want to have a long talk with him about the future and I really want to be able to touch him. I have been holding back so much and I just can't anymore. I need to hold him in my arms and know that he is mine. He has been so good so this is his reward. He should be able to eat enough so he is completely full. I want to treat him well. I want him to love me as much as I love him. I know that might never happen but he doesn't seem scared of me so my plan seems to be working. I just hope this isn't all fake just to gain my trust. If he is, I will have to put the tape back on him. I just love him too much to have him leave. I know I have been called crazy but I'm not. No one else knows about him, which is good. I can't have him getting hurt because of my work. He has already been touched by someone else and I hate that. That mafia has been dealt with but I don't know if he is dealing with that. I know I have done my best to help him out in any way possible. I really want to touch every part of him that that man touched and help him forget what happened. I want to praise every part of him and help him remember that he is a man. After all, I hear what he says to himself. I know how insecure he is.
Once all of the food is done, I head into my darling's room with a tray and I set everything up. I sit down next to him as I lightly play with his hair. When I see him starting to wake up, I stop. I see him looking at me and then his wrist. Looks like he knows now. I watch him sit up before looking up at the leash. I guess he really knows now. He is so cute.
"Good morning darling. You have been so good for me that I thought you should have a big breakfast while we talk. You can feed yourself now that your hands are no longer taped to the bed."
I feel him hug me. "Thank you so much." I hug him back. This feels really nice. I love this so much. I have been needing this for so long and now I have it.
"Of course, baby doll. Now, you should eat."
I watch him as he starts eating. He offers for me to eat and he looks too cute for me to say no. Plus, I did make a lot more than I thought I did so he might not be able to eat it all.
"I love you, baby." Shit. It might be too early for that. Why did I say that? I should Have waited.
"I love you too."
What? I hold his face and have him face me. I need to know if he is playing with me or not. I need to know. If he loves me, I can take this to the next step. "Really? You do?"
"I do." I kiss his lips. I know this is the first time but he looks so cute and he just said that he does love me.
"How about after breakfast, we can cuddle after I take care of everything?"
"We…We can do that."
I wonder why he paused. Is he still insecure? If so, then I should make sure to give him all of the love that I can. I will make sure to hold him close and let him know that I love him.
Once we are done eating, I take care of everything before coming back to my darling and holding him close. I love this. To have him in my arms. He is finally mine. He loves me. I feel him moving and I go to look at him. Before I can say anything, he kisses me. I kiss him back. I didn't expect that. He must want me. He has kissed me and he has said that he loves me. I move on top of him as I start kissing down his face.
"Baby?" I hear him mumble. Did I go too far? What was I thinking? I am moving too fast. I look up at him.
"Yes, darling?"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry. Is it too much? You kissed and it felt so nice. With you saying that you love me and with you looking so pretty, I stopped thinking for a moment." I kiss his forehead. I have this much so I will keep it like this. Plus, he called me baby. I would prefer ma'am again though.
"It was definitely sudden. I don't want to do anything yet. I feel like we should have at least 5 dates before going to that level with how our relationship is going." I can do that but what are we considering a date? I would consider breakfast today, when we had coffee together, when he met up with me, and not long ago we had a really deep conversation so would that count?
"So one more date and I can?"
"Yes but ask first and not on the date." Okay, so what I think is a date is a date endless he is thinking of other times. That is understandable. After all, I first want him to know how much I love him.
"Of course baby. How about we have a safe word?"
"What's a safe word?" Aww. He seems so innocent.
"We will use it if we want the other person to stop and they have to listen."
"Okay. Can I choose the word?"
"Of course you can, baby. You can pick any word." Plus, then he shouldn't forget it so if it is ever said, I know to stop. I want him to have control. He already can get me to do anything for him so this should show him that.
I can see that he is thinking. He looks so adorable. "How about pineapple?"
"Sure. We can use pineapple." I lean down and I give him a kiss as we go back to cuddling. "How about we watch a movie tomorrow as a date? I want to make you feel better. I'm sure a lot is going through your head about all of this so I want to show you how much I love you."
I see my darling pause before nodding his head slightly. "Sure. We can do that. Until then, I am going to sleep."
I smile down at him. I kiss his forehead. "How about you take a bath first?"
"A bath?"
"Yes, you do need to clean up after all."
"Can I do it tomorrow before our date?"
"I guess we can." I kiss his forehead again as I watch him fall asleep.