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Chapter 31 - Naming

"Ooooooh that's brilliant"

Alex peered at the weapons from where he sat. "They look...ok"

The boy extended his hand to touch the weapons but Teresa stopped him. She looked at him seriously.

"Tell me this dear, do you treat weapons with respect?"

"Yep"

"Well, if you do respect them then you must follow their rules. I was told that you must not touch them before you name them"

The boy looked up at Teresa curiously, then gazed at the two weapons laying on the cloth.

"Who told you that?"

"The shopkeeper who gave me the weapons"

"Well...he lied"

"What?"

"The weapons are saying something very different"

Teresa looked at the boy as if he had recently been discharged from a mental hospital and was showing signs of reverting to his old ways (as if he was insane, basically, but I thought I'd add a little flair)

"Then tell us, what are the weapons saying?" Alex interrupted, fully invested in seeing the trouble the boy would get into.

"Yes dear, I would also like to know"

"Well, first of all, the sword is calling the scythe a 'cliche demonic nuisance' and the scythe is incredibly offended by this. They are getting into a full on scuffle with their words. Oh, the scythe is calling the sword 'stuck up piece of plastic' now. Huh, now they're surprised I can understand them. They thought the first part I thought up was a fluke. Why would that be a fluke??"

"Ok dear, did you get enough sleep last night? Maybe you should rest a bit"

Teresa looked at the boy with concern. Part of her didn't want to believe that the child had gone mad. Maybe he had eaten some mushroom or something, or a lack of sleep that caused a hallucination.

Alex was laughing away in the background. "Hahahahahahaha the kid's gone mad!"

"Shush! Don't go running your mouth! I'll have you do more chores!"

That shut him up.

The boy decided that the drama was not worth it. He wanted to use these weapons as quickly as possible and get back to his training. He would just name them first then use them to cause havoc in the forest. 

Also hear them talk. It was fun to hear them arguing away, it made for good entertainment while he was causing destruction.

"Alright alright, I was joking. I'm going to name them now"

Now to come up with great names that really resonate with the weapons, to give them names that truly demonstrate their worth and extraordinary might, to accentuate their worth and appearances, to give them names that would make the listeners faint when they heard legends of them...

"Imma name them Clover and Second"

....

"..."

"..."

Teresa looked at the kid, shook. Alex's eye twitched. Silence descended upon the hut. You could hear a pin drop in the silence. The kid looked at them, and wrongly assumed that his incredible naming sense had baffled them to a degree that they could no longer move. Satisfied with his decision, he reached for the weapons to finally pick them up.

The next scene seemed to be in slow motion. Teresa tried desperately to reach for the kid's hands before he could touch the weapons. Alex's eyes widened as he too thought the situation was serious enough for him to be involved. He coated his legs and hands with electricity and sprang into action.

But it was too late. Alex had laughed himself away from the boy, and Teresa was too slow to stop the boy. They could only helplessly watch as he grabbed both weapons. 

"Noooooooooooooo" (slow motion. Yeah, using dots would be confusing)

"No don't-ah goddammit!", Alex didn't stop in time and slapped the boy's hand away. The force was however, way too much for the hand, which is why it pulled the body with it as it crashed into the wall of the hut. 

"AAARRRRGHHH!!"

Teresa had stopped herself in time, and watched the chaos happen right in front of her, not able to do anything, which was a big blow to her. She was one of the 4 Titans goddammit!. That was not the main reason for her dismay though. She had brought the child under her protection.

She did not want for a child that she had promised to protect die in her own home, not like this. She rushed over to the child, whom she could not see because of the dust covering the crash site.

When the dust cleared up, she saw the child sitting down, wiggling his body around, one of his arms flailing limply by his side. When he spotted Teresa he said,

"Hey look at this Aunt Teresa! My arm is flopping around like a dead fish! Hahahahaha I got a dead fish for a hand! Flop flop flop floppity floppity flop!"

Teresa looked at him having fun and balled her hands into fists. She slowly walked up to him and bashed him over the head.

"Owwwie! What was that for!"

"Stay still and let me heal you arm you dolt! I think you may actually be mad for laughing while you have a broken arm! Did you know how scared I was when you disappeared instantly!"

Teresa dragged him to sit by her and got ready to use her Art. Alex then decided to open his big mouth.

"What is going on with your brain? Is your brain actually dead in there? Do you not feel pain at all? Do you want to test out your limits?"

Before the kid could nod his head excitedly, Teresa gave Alex the death glare (yeah, THE death glare). He just had to ask the last question, didn't he?

"Uh...umm...haha...I forgot that I didn't water a few of the flowers in the front garden...I'll just do that real quick..."

He started tiptoeing toward the door. Teresa grabbed the stick she used to write on the ground and threw it at him. It flew pretty fast, in a graceful arc, before crashing into the back of his head, sending him stumbling out the hut.

"AND STAY OUT!"

The boy let out a giggle but quickly stopped, in case the beady eyes of death landed on him, and sure enough, they did.

"Stay still"

"Yes, ma'am"

He shut his gob and sit still while Teresa tended to him with her Art. He could hear his weapons from where he was. They had stopped arguing with each other and were now cussing him out.

He had to admit, listening to them talk was considerably less fun now.