Chereads / meet your higher self / Chapter 10 - Boundries setting with others

Chapter 10 - Boundries setting with others

💪How to set boundaries

👉type of Boundries

Emotional, physical, spiritual, financial or material, digital, social, sexual, time

1: Create boundaries (less available less communicate)

2: State boundaries to others(communicate with logical reasons)

3: Maintaining boundaries with others

4: Sticking consistent with boundaries

👉Type of boundaries

1) Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries protect your space and body, your right to not be touched, to have privacy, and to meet your physical needs such as resting or eating. They tell others how close they can get to you, what kind of physical touch (if any) is okay, how much privacy you need, and how to behave in your personal space. A physical boundary clearly defines that your body and personal space belong to you.

Examples:

When someone sits uncomfortably close to you, you move away or say, I need a little more personal space.

We dont keep or consume alcohol at our house.

2) Sexual Boundaries

Sexual boundaries protect your right to consent, to ask for what you like sexually, and to honesty about your partners sexual history. They define what kind of sexual touch and intimacy you want, how often, when, where, and with whom.

Examples:

Id like to be touched like this.

Thuy has a personal policy of not having sex on the first date

3) Emotional or Mental Boundaries

Emotional or mental boundaries protect your right to have your own feelings and thoughts, to not have your feelings criticized or invalidated, and not have to take care of other people's feelings. Emotional boundaries differentiate your feelings from other peoples, so youre accountable for your own feelings, but not responsible for how others feel. Emotional boundaries also allow us to create emotional safety by respecting each other's feelings, not oversharing personal information thats inappropriate for the nature or level of closeness in the relationship.

Examples:

I dont feel comfortable discussing this.

I feel embarrassed and powerless when you chastise me in front of our kids. Id like you to stop.

4) Spiritual or Religious Boundaries

Spiritual boundaries protect your right to believe in what you want, worship as you wish, and practice your spiritual or religious beliefs.

Examples:

Im going to take a moment and say a silent prayer before we eat.

Paul goes to church alone because his partner doesnt share his beliefs.

5) Financial and Material Boundaries

Financial and material boundaries protect your financial resources and possessions, your right to spend your money as you choose, to not give or loan your money or possessions if you dont want to, and your right to be paid by an employer as agreed.

Examples:

Im on a budget, so I brought my lunch from home and wont be ordering lunch today.

Please dont borrow my car without asking.

6) Time Boundaries

Time boundaries protect how you spend your time. They protect you from agreeing to do things you don't want to do, having people waste your time, and being overworked.

Examples:

I reserve my evenings for family time. Ill respond to all work emails first thing in the morning.

Dad, I dont have time to take you shopping this week. Ill place an order for you with the grocery delivery service.

👉How to set and maintain good boundaries

Reflect on the reasons for your boundaries. ...

Start with a few boundaries. ...

Consider setting boundaries early on. ...

Try to be consistent with your boundaries. ...

Carve out time for yourself. ...

Don't be afraid to include extra boundaries. ...

Set healthy boundaries on social media.

👉Poor boundaries

From sources across the web

Becoming demanding of your time

Oversharing personal information

Wanting to know your schedule

Difficulty making decisions

They want to intimidate you

You compromise on your boundaries constantly

Feeling resentful

People pleasing

You blame others

Poor sense of self

What are boundaries?

You feel put out

Difficulty saying no

Fear of rejection

Ignoring your own needs

Manipulation

Mental health issues

No one listens to you

Passive-aggressive behavior

Projecting yourself onto your partner

Relationships are often difficult or dramatic

You feel taken advantage of

You let others define your life