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Chapter 12 - get to know your attachment style

Attachment is the emotional bond that forms between infant and caregiver

👉What are the 4 attachment styles?

The different attachment styles

Secure attachment.

Ambivalent (or anxious-preoccupied) attachment.

Avoidant-dismissive attachment.

Disorganized attachment.

Secure attachment represents a healthy balance of independence and dependence, while anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles are less healthy and may be characterized by fear of abandonment or difficulty trusting others.

👉Signs of secure attachment

From sources across the web

Boundaries

A positive sense of self

Comfortable with intimacy

Emotional regulation

Empathy

Ready for a commitment

Unconditional trust

Communicate

Emotional availability

Healthy conflict resolution

Honesty and openness

No game playing

Open communication

Stable relationships

They feel comfortable opening up

👉Avoidant attachment style signs

From sources across the web

Avoidance of emotions

Emotional detachment

Emotional suppression

Ambivalence towards intimacy

Commitment shy

Does not communicate his intentions clearly

Nitpicking the relationship

Abandonment

Avoidantly attached partners have restricted emotionality

Difficulty expressing needs

Difficulty handling conflict

Independence

Resisting vulnerability

Striving for independence above all

Avoid eye contact

Avoidance of conflict

Romantic gestures

Struggling with being emotionally vulnerable

They feel criticized

👉Anxious attachment signs

From sources across the web

Fear of abandonment

Difficulty being alone

Difficulty controlling negative emotions

Jealousy

Needing approval from others

Clinging to parents and caregivers

Clingy tendencies

Trust issues

Unpredictable behavior

You crave intimacy

Anxiety

Constant need for validation

Fear of strangers

Feeling dependent on others

Feeling like the relationship is threatened

Feeling unworthy of love

Highly emotional

Preoccupation with relationships

Separation anxiety

Worried about the relationship

👉 Disorganised attachment styles signs

wanting to be extremely close or extremely distant from others

difficulty being vulnerable with others

anxiety when others want to be close to you

challenges with emotional regulation

low self-esteem

fear of being abandoned

inconsistent in your relationships with others

depression

avoidance of others

desire to be close to romantic partners but pull away after seeking comfort

fear that they'll be abandoned

seek support but in incoherent or inconsistent ways

avoid intimacy

experience high levels of anxiety