Aaron
My life has been nothing but a shit show. My parents are never around, my friends have abandoned me, and the girl I have been crushing on has a boyfriend who has been terrorizing me and forcing me to do things just to amuse him.
This guy would always find me and would either punch me in the stomach or pin me down, calling me humiliating names. Sometimes he would ask me to do things for him that were degrading. It was bad enough that he beat me up and stole my money, he also made me steal things for him and sometimes he would ask me to take care of certain needs for him too.
Why didn't I report him? The question my best friend had asked me as it were a simple matter. I knew that if I reported him, he wouldn't get punished and he would retaliate. He was the mayor's son, a star athlete, and a model student. It would be my word against his and I would be viewed as some jealous or obsessed classmate who wants to ruin his life.
After taking care of his needs, I felt dirty, used like some damn sex toy that I seriously wanted to die. I kept telling myself it was no big deal just to get through it, and afterwards, I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror.
What made my life bearable was my pop goddess. Her beautiful voice, the emotions she expressed in her songs were the oasis to my emotional desert. She had saved me from my darkest times.
When I heard she had committed suicide, my life was surely over. Nothing would light up my cold, dark world. I wanted to pay my respects to her before ending my own life. So I made the trip to Dallas, and was talking with this guy on a chat.
He was a fan of hers from what I gathered and also felt like ending his life too. He told me he was looking for someone and was devastated when he heard the news. We decided to meet and he told me about this drug he had bought to do it.
He gave me the address and when I met him, he was this skinny blonde guy that was definitely older by at least ten years. He also was surprised by my appearance so I told him I was nineteen. I didn't want him to know I was actually sixteen.
Thankfully, I didn't get a pervy vibe off him, but I was prepared to take care of his needs if it got there. Fortunately, he wasn't interested in me like that, which was a relief for me.
I did ask him one thing when he gave me the dose. We had promised that we would die together. We took the pills and then we went to sleep. He slept on his bed, and I on his sofa.
I couldn't remember my dreams but when I woke up, I had this splitting headache and an appetite like I hadn't eaten in days. I went to go look for the guy, but I couldn't find him anywhere.
"Did this asshole just leave me here to die alone?" I had asked.
My stomach grumbled real loud, so I decided to raid his fridge. If he couldn't help me die, the least he could do was feed me. I saw so many fancy things in his pantry that it made me wonder if this guy actually eats here or out. I did manage to find some ramen cups amid all the other food.
After eating the ramen, I felt sleepy again and decided to crash on the couch again. Next thing I knew was I heard two men arguing.
"What the hell, Riley? That's a kid. You gave this boy the drug? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Look," he replied, "I didn't know he was a kid when he reached out to me. He told me he was nineteen."
"And you didn't bother to check for ID?"
"I didn't let him fuck me, if that's what you're thinking." he argued back.
What the hell? I asked myself.
"Well that's good to know. But still, why didn't you talk him out of it?"
I had heard their names in the conversation. Riley was the blond guy I met, and Ethan was the other guy in the room. I got up and saw the blond asshole and Ethan's back. When he turned around, Ethan screamed and fell to the floor.
"Welcome back, you fucking con-artist." I said to Riley.
"You-You're alive?!?!" Riley asked.
"What the hell, man," I say while I approach Riley. "That stupid drug of yours didn't work. You're a damn liar!!"
Honestly, I wanted to kick his ass. But Ethan came and pulled me away from him. "Alright kid," he says to me. "Calm down." He looks at Riley with a look that demands an explanation.
"That's not possible," Riley responds, "I checked his pulse this morning and he didn't have one." He walks away to the living area as I follow but Ethan pulls me aside, keeping me away from Riley.
"Well," Ethan angrily answers back, "He looks pretty damned lively to me."
I wrestle myself free from Ethan's grasp and push him gently away. "Yeah, well we got bigger issues now. Our deal was to take the drug and die together. From what I see you didn't take your dose."
"Wow," Ethan says to Riley, "You really are a bastard."
"Yeah," I say as I start shoving Riley. The urge to beat the shit out of him was too strong. "Give me a fucking break man."
Ethan once again jumps in and pulls me away from him. "Okay kid, let's just cool our heads here for a bit. I'm glad you're alive."
"Well, I'm not." I snap back. "I seriously wanted to end it." I angrily glare at Riley.
"Hey kid," Ethan asks in a voice that reminds me of a caring father. I look at him with a face that says what? And Ethan continues with his question. "What made you consider suicide in the first place?"
I don't know why, but Ethan made me feel like he was someone who actually cares. It made me wish that he was my dad. Maybe it was for that reason that I decided to tell him what was going on with my life that brought me to this place. I told him everything except the sexual "favors" my bully would ask of me. I don't know these guys and I'm not sure how they would respond or see me when they discover I was forced to give my bully blowjobs. After I had finished my story, Ethan just looked at me like a guidance counselor.
"Seriously," He laughed as he said this. "That's all?"
I wanted to tell him what my bully would make me do, but I was too scared to even bring it up. "What do you mean, that's all?"
Ethan just continued on and said, "Listen up, kid. Your bully is going to disappear when he graduates. What you kids need to realize is that life doesn't end at high school. That's where your life begins. Sure your life may suck, but it doesn't last forever. Give or take a couple years and your surroundings will change as well as the people around you. After all, you're still young. Isn't it a waste, to die when you have a whole life ahead of you?" As Ethan said this, I felt that he understood what I went through almost as he had gone through it himself. What he said next, definitely made me wish he was my father. "Don't focus on your bully, his girl, or those people who claim to be your friends. You might find other people to connect with. People who truly appreciate who you are."
Ethan's words were just like my pop goddess's songs. They brought light and warmth to my cold dead world. Soon I was feeling something that I haven't felt or had in my life. Hope.
He put his arm around me and said in that fatherly tone, "So what do you say? Why not give life a go at least until after graduation?"
His words made me see the world with new eyes. He was right. I have my life ahead of me and if that means my bully will disappear, then I will not give up. "I think I will give life another chance."
"That's the spirit." Ethan said with a smile on his face.
As Ethan and I have our moment, Riley calls to Ethan.
"Umm, Ethan." he says, "I'm glad you were able to talk him off the ledge. But remember the situation we are in."
"Oh," Ethan said. His voice sounded defeated. "Right." He sank down on the couch and became depressed.
Riley approached me and said, "Judging by that reaction, I assume you haven't heard."
Riley turned on the television and I suddenly saw what made Ethan depressed. A meteor will hit Earth in nine days. No chance for survival. But I will not let this light of hope be lost during the world's end. If I had nine days or even nine years, I will continue living.