A person achieving extraordinary success at a very young age within a limited scope tends to have a taste of decline thereafter. Whether it is Dorian Gray or Fang Zhongyong, they share the same fate. People love stories of genius; genius is a symbol, symbolizing the best things life can offer. What better oracle is there than genius, with its youth and vitality, skillful expertise, and the ability to surpass all others? If a genius also possesses a beautiful appearance, people often overlook the fact that they are human. They may fail, grow old, but their most beautiful moments are etched in people's minds. After all, highly empathetic individuals like Oscar Wilde or Wang Anshi are too few in this world. When I achieved third place in the Liszt International Piano Competition, I did not think of myself as similar to Dorian Gray or Fang Zhongyong. After all, when one is at the peak, one only imagines the next peak. And I was right, at least at that time.
I returned home with honors, accompanied by my mother and Teacher Dan. Teacher Dan received commendations from the National Musicians Association and the Music Academy for my award. Since it happened to be winter vacation, I got a week off, and for the entire week, every morning, I headed to the Music Academy.
Behind the concert hall, at the entrance of the teaching building, I played on the "slide" with other children from different courtyards. Strictly speaking, it wasn't a slide because the teaching building was located on higher ground, with the foundation raised. There were ten steps connecting the main road to the entrance of the teaching building, and on both sides of the steps were two concrete sleepers slanting down, each wide enough for one person.
The children discovered the fun of playing on these concrete sleepers. They lined up, standing at the entrance, waiting to slide down from the platform at the teaching building's gate. Later, during every holiday, all the children gathered there. My secret throne, a ginkgo tree, stood in the courtyard just behind this "slide." I couldn't help but feel a bit sad – that was my personal throne, and now I had to share it with everyone.
Among the children playing on the slide, I noticed a somewhat familiar face, resembling Dai Yanzhi, but I wasn't sure. After all, it had been almost two months since I last saw him.
"Hey, Ye Xi, I thought you disappeared," Dai Yanzhi spoke up before I could confirm his identity.
"Uh, I went to participate in a competition."
"What competition? You're quite talented, kid."
"I went to the Netherlands for a competition." I wasn't good at talking about my abilities with others, not out of humility, but to avoid unexpected trouble.
"Oh, so you're the one who won the Liszt International Award!" Dai Yanzhi exclaimed, drawing the attention of nearby children.
"Ah, it's you!" The other children glanced at him and then at me. I remained silent.
"It really is you!" Dai Yanzhi and another girl exclaimed simultaneously.
"I'm He Tiantian." The girl walked up to me and gave me a QQ candy.
"Ye Xi." I took the candy and popped it into my mouth without saying a word.
Amidst the other children's astonishment, concerned that their slide order might be disrupted, they peeked over to check and then returned to their original positions. Dai Yanzhi introduced each of them to me one by one - Grape Sister, Zhang Xian, Rose Sister, Tao Ran, and then He Tiantian. Honestly, at that moment, I felt like I didn't need to know these people. Apart from this week of rest, my life was comprised of just three things. However, during this week, I experienced a novel feeling, and I was willing to play with the children.
Every morning, we went to the slide, then we ate beef skewers dipped in chili paste at the skewer shop behind the Music Academy Attached Primary School. After eating, we climbed over the iron railing around the concert hall - it was often locked during summer and winter vacations. We rested on the grass by the door, and in the afternoons, we ran around the large playground, playing games like hide-and-seek. Sometimes, I would hide with Dai Yanzhi and He Tiantian behind the big banyan tree in the center of the playground. This spot was easy to be found, but we enjoyed the excitement of being chased after being discovered.
After playing, we each went back home for dinner. Every day, I couldn't wait; before finishing my last bite, I would run back to the playground to find them. At night, we would go to the ginkgo tree, each person finding a branch to sit on, not doing much. Gradually, I began to enjoy the time spent with them.
On the fifth day, a wave of sadness swept over me as I realized that my "freedom" was coming to an end. At night, as usual, we sat on the ginkgo tree, and no one spoke.
"In two days, I have to go back to practicing the piano," I said with a touch of regret.
"Come back to play on weekends," Dai Yanzhi suggested.
"I'm afraid I can't. I have to practice for a long time every day."
"Which practice room are you in? We'll come to see you," Dai Yanzhi looked at me, and the other children chimed in. "Yeah, Hixi, the pianist, will have a special performance for us," Grape Sister said. "I'll play the flute, and we'll have a duet."
"When I get good at singing, I'll join too," Rose added.
"I'll ask my mom to make some crispy meat for everyone," the youngest Tao Ran added.
"I love watching," Zhang Xian said.
I felt a bit shy for a moment, not the kind of shyness related to expressing oneself, but rather a sense of gratitude. This was different from the affirmation I received after performing. Becoming the center of a collective, gaining something without any apparent reason, I regarded it as the most precious reward from the international competition.
"Okay, haha," I agreed, "It's just that my schedule might be quite tight."
"No problem, just let us know," Dai Yanzhi said. "Yeah, when we're allowed into the practice room, put a transparent leaf on the seat in the middle of the ginkgo tree," Grape Sister suggested.
"Great idea," Zhang Xian agreed. "Let's settle it like that."
"Sure, sure," I smiled.
Then suddenly, it started to rain. We quickly climbed down the tree, scattering in different directions. We agreed to meet the next day to eat at the new noodle shop next to the primary school. While running, I felt a hand grabbing mine. In the rainy night, I couldn't see the person's face, but from the figure, it seemed to be a girl. Running faster, getting closer to the gate of the Music Academy, near the left side of the gate, there was a large banyan tree. Just as we were approaching the gate, that hand pulled me towards the banyan tree. The slippery ground due to the rain almost caused me to slip during the sudden change of direction. I had no choice but to follow her lead. Under the big tree, I saw her clearly. It was He Tiantian.
"I am into you." Before I could fully comprehend her words, she pecked me quickly on the cheek and then ran off.
My hair, wet from the rain, turned into individual curls, and rainwater trickled down my face. I felt a bit queasy, unsure if it was because I was recalling the peck or the fishy scent of the rain. I lingered under the banyan tree for a while, waiting for the rain to ease before returning home. In the bathroom, I took a careful look at myself. Looking back, at that time, I was still an immature child. Due to constant practice and my family's neglect, my hair, like a girl's short hair, had grown long. It curled naturally like my mother's, forming small curls when it grew longer. Sometimes, my bangs would get caught between the folds of my double eyelids, causing a slight discomfort. Fortunately, my nose bridge was relatively high, and the bangs, due to the position of my eyebrows and nose bridge, formed a diagonal part that was three to four. Looking into the mirror, I stared at my eyes. Sometimes, even I couldn't understand the world in the depths of my eyes, just like the two worlds I possessed—one in music, accessible only when I held the keys, and the other in the mundane world, where I seldom had the chance to linger. My eyes held two worlds.
Until the end of my seven-day holiday, He Tiantian did not appear again. Dai Yanzhi gave me a note from her, saying: "Ye Xi, I went on a trip. Let's climb the tree together when I come back." On the seventh afternoon, to better adapt to returning to a piano practice routine, my mother asked me to watch Li Li, a senior student, practice the piano. She was about to go to the United States to participate in the Van Cliburn International Piano Competition. After discussions with Teacher Dan, they decided on Brahms' "Variations and Fugue on a Theme by Handel, Op. 24," Ravel's "Gaspard de la nuit," Mozart's "Piano Concerto No. 20 in D minor, K. 466," and Prokofiev's "Piano Concerto No. 2 in G minor, Op. 16." Later, they also decided to have me accompany her in the competition, aiming to expose me to the atmosphere of more international competitions.
My senior sister's piano technique was highly polished; her hands were much larger than mine. Even though she was only 14 years old, she could play twelfths. Her finger movements and accuracy were excellent when playing octaves, and the selected pieces were not challenging for her. However, she always appeared very indifferent, as if this indifference extended to her playing as well. But I never commented on other people's performances; I considered it a matter of etiquette. Although my mother did not teach me this, just as she usually sat quietly while I practiced the piano, her words were few. Sometimes, she would knit nearby, and if I played a wrong note, she would use the knitting needle to tap my hand. However, I was obviously not a person who would resort to violence towards others, either verbally or physically, so I silently listened to her playing.
Teacher Dan tailored her teaching to each student's individual needs, adding the magic of rational performance on top of my senior sister's polished technique. Soon, she developed a unique and austere style.
The day of going to the United States was getting closer, just two months away. Every day, besides listening to my senior sister's performances, I went to school, practiced the piano on my own, or attended piano lessons. The days spent with the children from the courtyard seemed like they belonged to a previous century. Occasionally, in the quiet of the night, in my dreams, I would see Dai Yanzhi smiling at me from the tree, or hear Grape Sister's flute.
One day, He Tiantian's peck suddenly invaded my dream. Initially, that queasy feeling returned, but as she leaned in and I saw her face clearly, it was Li Li. Still, with a cold expression, she got closer, and involuntarily, I met that kiss. When her lips touched mine, the person transformed into a boy's face, and I woke up. I saw the streetlight outside casting a coin-sized spot on the ceiling. In the hazy moments, the spot of light slowly crawled across and reached my face. That night, I saw the boy's lips in the warm touch of the light, appearing near and then far away.
In a few days, it would be time for me to go to the United States. During these days, my mother packed my luggage, and my grandparents came to the Music Academy to see me. My father took time off and came home, and the whole family rarely gathered to have a meal together. It felt as if my departure was going to be a long time, but in reality, I was only going for a week.
The thirty-hour long-haul flight was much more challenging than the week-long journey. I flew from Chengdu to Beijing, waited at the airport, flew from Beijing to Los Angeles, and then to Fort Worth. At that time, I had no idea about American cities; I only knew that I had to change planes many times. If I had known, I definitely wouldn't have gone. I sat in a row with my senior sister Li Li, Teacher Dan, and Professor Chen. Mr. Zhou from the National Musicians Association sat with us. When the plane landed, we almost all breathed a sigh of relief at the same time.
After landing, all I wanted to do was quickly get to the hotel and sleep. However, the most painful part was the jet lag. Unexpectedly, when we landed in the United States, it was still daytime, and we had to familiarize ourselves with the competition venue. Naturally, the teachers wouldn't feel at ease letting a just-turned-ten-year-old me rest alone in the hotel. As the business car pulled into the parking lot of the concert hall, we got off one by one. Coming towards us were local volunteers.
A blonde, blue-eyed girl started the introduction, and the accompanying translator teacher said, "They are from Rochester, New York, and are the main volunteers hosting us for this competition." A Chinese-faced older brother took over, stuttering a bit, "I'm Alexander. You can call me Alex directly. I have a Chinese name, Yan Feng. I can speak Chinese, although not very well, but you can ask me anything." I scrutinized him from head to toe. Disheveled and thick hair covered his forehead, and slightly sunken eye sockets housed a pair of peach blossom eyes. He had a straight and well-defined nose bridge with a slightly larger nose tip. His slender cheeks had a healthy complexion, and his lips were just below the nose. His facial features coordinated well on his face. In a moment, his appearance seemed vaguely familiar, but I dared not think too much about it.