Rebekah's Pov
His smothering gaze was repulsive to my veins which sent a crawling feeling throughout my body. Just what in the hell was all of this about? The sad feeling I got when I stared into his eyes. It was like I was staring at a reflection of myself which seemed foreign and incongruent. It was something so mysterious and seductive that I was willing to find but in my conscious, I was not willing to.
"I invite you to go on a walk with me," The king said.
Like a sixteen year old, I was stuck on the words he said thinking it sounded like he was inviting me out to a date. I took his wide hand he had stretched out in front of me and felt happy. It wasn't the loud cheerful outward happy. It was one that was present in the soul and abideth within it so evidently yet no one could see proof because it wasn't seen with the eyes but by faith. A faith which even I didn't have. I wondered what this mysterious feeling was but I was too scared to dive into it.
"I'm sorry," he said as his hand gripped mine a little tighter. He seemed a bit seethed within himself and that gave me a sense of safety.
However… "Aren't you scared I'd escape from you once we're outside?"
The king's demeanor did not change. He seemed almost amused even. "That's true."
There was silence for a bit, with the both of us just staring into each other's eyes. It was a little intense but homely and comfortable. And I couldn't understand why.
Perhaps it's just meant to be felt I heard my wolf said.
The exchange between the king and I happened and regardless of my submition to him, he silently and patiently waited while I put on my foot wears.
The moment we stepped out of the prison, I felt something change with me as the King let me stand toe at toe with him. It was a humbling feeling because I knew he had the power to give me my freedom if only I do as he asked. But my pride came from choosing my dignity and self-respect inspite of whatever condition I found myself in. Indeed, I had not found ways to preserve self-respect with my former pack while I was still serving as omega. But if this brute little king thought I would gleefully open my buttocks to him in exchange for some wool and silk, he would die old and gray trying.
The guards bowed to the king with respect as he walked. Something deep within me reacted to the deep wellness of respect within them. This scent was strong and smooth. It reminded me of the respect I deserved and the one I should've gotten for trying my best with the wild beasts in the woods.
Time and time again, my soul had been in unrest thinking of all the times I endured darkness for a flicker of light.
However odd it was to me, I realized that I was doing something out of my hands and a bit out of balance when I stared into the king's face and inspite of his aloofness and cool demeanor, he seemed like light. A light I needed and it was so odd to me.
Again I asked, "You're letting me walk unbound, what if I escape?"
This time he smiled, his smile barely reaching his eyes. "Try and see if you can." His voice was tangent and soft. An alluring invitation to his soul. Once again, I was put off and irritated by his calming attitude.
"Well… I am King." He said once we were standing in front of a peach tree outside. The cool air blowed all of a sudden and all my nerves being exposed to the fresh air felt softened and a bit jolted. It was when the goosebumps crawled on my skin that I realized how much I had needed this. It was like an example of when you're in darkness and you become so acquainted to it so much you forget about needing light. It was how I was at the moment. Taking air… feeling it. Knowing it again. And it reminded me of the time in the wilds.
Now I remember, I was never alone although I was made to feel that way. The wind was always at my side, leading me, guiding me. I knew that now.
I looked at him, feeling attracted to his awfully calm component. It was almost like he was never in a hurry to prove anything about himself. He was king, and it was as if him knowing that was enough and it established him on a high tower well within himself. I envied that kind of grace.
"I brought you here…" The king continued, "To see the kind of stuff that you're made out of."
There was that soul felt silence between us again.
"Trust that whatsoever thing you tell me will be held to the highest of regard, and by that, I mean confidentiality."
I snorted, not caring if I was disrespecting a whole ass king. "And why would you do that, so you can kill me? Not that I'm afraid of death though."
The king gives me a stare, the kind that was smoothering and face analytical. When he did that I was insecure because I felt like he was staring into my very very dark secrets. I hated feeling that way and so I attributed my hate and my anger into his face instead.
"Please be bold and talk me who you are and what was mission is towards this route? But most importantly," his gaze was fixated onto me and it held a kind of longing that I didn't know nor understand. And it scared me.
"I want to know." With each breath he took, my soul was dying to hear him more and it was embarassing how much I needed him. His voice, his attributes. Just his presence. It was that knowing that disgusted me.
"Who you are." His gaze was peering deep into my soul and it pushed me into a corner back into the moments I was weak and vulnerable. A weak, motionless Omega. He wanted to know me? I was afraid he didn't have the stomach for that.
"You don't know what you're asking," I said mind-absentedly causing him to stop and watch me carefully. "What did you say?"
"As a matter of fact, I do."
That self-securedness. It was something I aimed to be. This king wasn't like jasper who seemed devoid of feelings and cold.
He actually seemed to be in touch with him but didn't let it get to his spirit, this was something I strived so much for but never seemed to have fully developed regardless of the pain I'd went through in my life. It just didn't seem fair. But then again, it wasn't like there was a time life was ever fair for me so I wondered why I had any hope to begin with.
"And the reason why I said what I said is so that you can feel closer to me." I heard the little hopefulness in his voice which irked me to my bones.
"And why would I want that?"
"I can't give a reason why you should want that, but I want it. Because… you are my mate."
That was it. He was hitting the bullet right where there needs to be one. But I decided I was not going to fall for it, after all, this could be a sullen or a made out trick to make me say something.
"You do not need to doubt," he says, as if perceiving my thoughts. "I have much grace especially when it is towards the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh."
If it were the old vulnerable me, I probably would have melted from this simple old phrase. But the me now was different and wanted other things. Just feeling a bond with someone was not enough for me to risk my entire self-respect and personal shelter for.
"Then I have a question," I said abrasively, then felt even more discontent when he looked at me intently with anticipation. "Can you kindly offer me the option of rejecting you as a mate?"
I saw the calm look on his face and he stared at me but didn't utter to me back a single word. I started to retract my steps, and throughout my walk back inside, I was not stopped even as I made my way back to the cellroom.
I laid on the cold floor with a tear brimming in the corner of my eyes.
Indeed, I was offered a crown of honor today. A king stepped into my abode and pronounced me his mate. Yet instead of jubilating, I choosed my own hell. Yet, I was unashamed of it. It was what real queens do.