Since Dara's departure, Niko was always gloomy. He is also always sad. In fact, I, Bobby and also Bella always try to cheer him up so that he doesn't get lost in his sadness. However, suddenly Niko wanted me and him to date. And, that's what made me quite surprised. When we were in 12th grade, Niko and I went to the lake together. And, for the first time, Niko and I were dating.
2 years ago. . .
"Nad," Niko called when we were sitting together by the lake.
"Hm. . . . ."
"Are you happy with your current life?"
"Why is that? You're not happy?"
Niko didn't move. I saw his eyes looking empty, sad and lonely. He seemed to have lost his way.
"I'm happy. . . . I'm happy because I have you by my side, Nad," he said, which made me stare at Niko's face for a moment. There was a genuine smile on his face.
"Thank's ya, you've been the best friend for me all this time."
Niko looked at me straight. The walls of his heart slowly began to open, the loneliness slowly began to disappear. This is like the Niko I knew a few years ago. Niko, who felt lonely because she was left behind by her soulmate, finally began to smile brightly again.
"That's what I should have said to you, Nik," I said as I gazed out over the lake at the sound of the calm water.
"You know what, Nad? I don't know what would happen if there was no you in this world. I don't know who else to rely on," she said softly as she folded her legs and played with her fingers.
I looked up at him. Niko seemed to be looking straight ahead. Niko has been losing weight lately, is it because he misses Dara so much?
"Nik, I promise I will always stand beside you and will always open my arms wide for you to hold. I will always be there for you, whenever you need me," I said with a meaningful look on his face.
Niko smiled and looked up at the orange afternoon sky. The sun was about to set, and the twilight was already beginning to show. The afternoon wind was blowing so hard that it pierced my ribs quickly. I held my arms as the chill of the night seemed to have set in.
"Nad? Let's go out!" he said suddenly which made me surprised and looked at Niko's face with a confused expression.
Niko looked at me and smiled gently at me.
"Let's go out!" he said again while extending his hand.
I was silent for a while. Trying to think clearly and not get caught up in my feelings. However, I foolishly accepted Niko's offer without much thought. Was my decision the right one?
"Let's go out!" I replied while returning Niko's hand.
Since that incident, Niko and I have been officially dating. Even though we were dating, our attitudes were not different at all and were always the same as usual. In fact, when we were dating, Niko and I still called each other 'I'm elo' and we never said 'I like you'.
Throughout our life together, those words never came out of our mouths. And, we ourselves never knew about each other's feelings. Dating suddenly and marrying young without love was so bland. But, that was our real relationship.
And since we got married, there is only the word me and you to distinguish our status now. Sometimes, I'm confused by the life we live like this. Is Niko really my soul mate? Am I just an escape? So, what is the fate of our household after Dara returns?
"Ra, why is your move so impromptu? Why don't you tell us first, we can pick you up at the airport," I said as we sat together in the campus park.
"I deliberately wanted to surprise you both. I've arranged everything, I also asked Noah and your sister Nad, Kesya. I asked them where you were studying and how you were doing.
"As it turns out, you're studying here and I decided to study here too to continue my Masters. I will continue my management studies here. So, we can be together again," he laughed happily.
I looked at Niko. He looked visibly upset.
"Didn't Noah ever tell me that he was in a relationship with you, Ra?" Niko asked confused.
"I deliberately told Noah and Kesya to keep my return a secret. By the way, who is your boyfriend now, Nad? You already have a boyfriend, right?" she asked suddenly.
Deggg. . . my heart stopped for a moment. It turned out that Dara still didn't know about my marriage to Niko. What should I do now? Should I tell her the truth? But, why does she have to ask me about my boyfriend after we haven't seen each other for so long?
Dara seems very curious. I tried to think since. Niko doesn't seem to be able to help much either. What about this?
"Nadia just broke up with her boyfriend, Ra," Niko cut in quickly, leaving me with a confused look.
"Sorry, I didn't know. But, you take it easy, you'll definitely find a better replacement than your boyfriend. You're beautiful, there must be a lot of people on this campus who like you," he said as he put his arm around me.
I smiled wryly. How could men on this campus like me, when I already had a husband? The situation this time was really not very favorable. An awkward atmosphere began to develop between me and Niko.
"What about you, Nik? Do you have a boyfriend?" asked Dara, which made my heart beat faster again and I was so curious to hear Niko's answer this time.
Niko looked back at me. The look in his eyes is different this time. His eyes were like a bow and arrow that almost pierced my heart. What is this look?
"I'm single, Ra," Niko replied, much to my disappointment and Dara's wide smile.
"Oh yeah, Bella and Bobby study here too, right? I miss them both, I want to meet them."
"Maybe tomorrow," I answered quickly.
"Don't leave me, okay? Right now, all I have here is you. I'm sorry if I haven't been a good friend to you. But, I promise, I will stay with you here until I die. I won't leave you behind again."
I smiled and gently held Dara's right hand.
"I also promise to be a good friend to you, Ra. We'll go back to the way we were before, always together and never apart."
After talking for a while, Niko and I took Dara back to her house. As for me and Niko, when we got home, we were silent for a while and didn't move. This stiff atmosphere was like the first time we met. We both looked like strangers.
"Why aren't we honest about our status right now, Nik?" I opened my voice.
"Not now, Nad. I'm not ready yet."
"But, we have to say it anyway. We can't lie to Dara for long. What if she finds out from someone else's mouth?"
"Wait a little longer. Just give me a minute to fix everything. Are you willing to give me time?"
I reluctantly nodded even though I was actually very disappointed to hear his answer. Could he be doing all this because he still loved her? Did Niko have any thoughts of returning to her? So, what about our relationship? What about our marital status?
"Do you still love Dara?" I asked, making Niko look at my face like he was begging.
"I don't know, I have mixed feelings right now. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. But, what I do know right now is that I'm glad Dara is back because I miss her so much."
Hearing Niko's answer, I was really disappointed by him. My heart hurt so much hearing his answer, I felt like crying. But, I couldn't, I couldn't cry in front of him. Women's feelings are easily torn apart.
When he makes me soar so far and so high, he easily drops me back to the bottom of the abyss. I hate having to be a weak woman like this. I hate having to like someone else when he doesn't like me at all.
He can't even look at me. So, what does that sweet gesture he's been showing me mean? Is he playing with my feelings? Is he going to dump me after he gets me?
Why did all this have to happen to me? If it was going to be like this, maybe I wouldn't have agreed to this young marriage in the first place. Because it would only take up my time and everything would definitely be wasted.
"Are you going back to Dara's side?" I asked again, trying to hold back my tears.
"I don't know, I'm confused. Let everything go by itself. And, I beg you to keep this marriage a secret from Dara."
"Until when do we have to keep it a secret?" I asked with trembling lips.
"Let Dara know all these things from my own mouth. Let me say and explain everything. I'm afraid she'll be shocked if she finds out everything," he replied, which made me want to scream at the top of my lungs and cry my eyes out.
"Have you been thinking about Dara all this time?"
Niko gave me a confused look. I turned my face away, but I looked back at him with a pitiful look.
"Was I just an escape for you? Am I being used as bait so you can forget about Dara?"
"Nad, what are you saying? Why are you talking like that? I don't understand what you're saying. I've never taken advantage of our relationship status. But, when it comes to my feelings for Dara, I admit that I still like her. Because that liking is hard to forget. Because it's not easy for me to forget someone I once liked."
How could Niko say such a thing, when he couldn't take care of my feelings now that he was his wife. Does the happiness I felt some time ago have to disappear just like that? Can't I be happy?
"Nad, are you ok?" Niko asked when he saw me speechless.
"So, what about my feelings?" I asked, causing Niko to pause and stare at my face intently.