"Do you have a problem with Nadia?" asked Dara when I was eating with her in the cafeteria when my lecture was over for the day.
"Just a small problem."
"What problem if I may know? Maybe, I can help."
"It's not a big problem, ko."
"Well, it's Nadia and Bella. I'll call you, okay? Nad. . . Bell. . here!" Dara shouted, which made me look back and see Nadia with Bella.
After being called by Dara, Nadia and Bella approached our table and finally the four of us ate together.
"Has it been a long time since we've been together like this? I miss my high school days," said Dara, which made me and Nadia look at each other.
"Yeah, you just moved to New York, anyway," said Bella, who was given a nod by Nadia.
"Nad, are you fighting with Niko again?" asked Dara, which made me look at Nadia.
"No, Niko and I are fine."
"Ko, you seem to be keeping each other quiet. I don't know what your problem is. It's just that I suggest you don't fight for long. You two are close friends."
I bowed my head and ate the food that was in front of me at the moment. As for Nadia, she finished the rest of the bread she was eating. I don't know how long we're going to have a cold war like this. This is really annoying.
"Oh yeah, Niko, your father called me earlier. I think your father has a problem, try calling your father later," Nadia said.
"Oh, okay, I'll call you back. But why did he call you instead of me?"
"He said your number was hard to reach earlier."
"Oh, I see. Maybe there's a problem."
"Wait, there's something strange, isn't there?" Dara suddenly exclaimed, causing Nadia and I to look at each other.
Did I say something wrong?
"What's weird, Ra?" asked Bella confused.
"Ko, are you two talking about me and you? It's like you're dating. You're not in a relationship, are you?" investigated Dara.
Dara's statement made me and Nadia very surprised and suddenly choked on our food.
"You guys are so surprised, aren't you? Is there something I don't know while I'm not in Indonesia? Please explain something to me!"
I grabbed my aqua bottle and immediately drank it to neutralize my esophagus that was hurting so much. Fuck me, is it time I told Dara the truth about my relationship with Nadia?
"I'm not in a relationship with Niko, Ra," Nadia replied, which surprised me.
Why would she lie?
"So what? You're not lying to me, are you?"
"No, we're not lying to you at all. Me and Niko are just friends as you know. Me and Niko also have a new habit now. We're getting used to using the word I you for a change," Nadia explained as she nudged my leg and I quickly nodded in agreement.
"Are you sure?" asked Dara for reassurance.
Nadia and I both nodded. Actually, I didn't have the heart to lie to Dara like this. But, what else can I do, it's for our own good. And, I'm still not ready to tell Dara the truth.
"Will you promise not to lie to me?"
I, Nadia and Bella glanced at each other. How could I not, indirectly the three of us had lied to Dara. And, now it was difficult for us to escape this deteriorating situation.
After finishing eating, Dara invited me to go out together. We visited a place we had been to a few years ago. It was a playground, a place that Dara and I had visited when I first expressed my true feelings to Dara. And, it was also the place where me, Dara and Nadia used to play together when we were kids.
"What brings you here?" I asked Dara as she sat on a swing that was exactly the same as before.
"Do you remember this place, Nik?"
I looked around. This place is still the same as it used to be and nothing has changed at all. I felt nostalgic about this playground.
"How could I forget this historical place."
"Yes, this is a historical place. This is the place where you told me your true heart for the first time," Dara said, making me look at her face.
"You kept your promise, Nik."
"Kept a promise?" I repeated confused.
"Yes, it turns out you're still waiting for me until now. I'm proud of you."
I was stunned. I guess Dara misunderstood, I'm not the nice guy she imagined me to be. How could I wait for a woman for years, without news, without communication. It's different if we still have communication, maybe I still want to wait for her.
"Hmm, Dara I have something to tell you."
"I also have something to tell you."
"Dara. . I... . actually. . . actually already-"
"I love you, Niko," Dara said suddenly which made me very surprised by her sudden statement.
"What?"
"I can't wait for this day to come. It's about time, Niko. And, I will answer the question you asked me years ago that I never answered. Yes, yes I do. I want to be your girlfriend," she said, which made me look even more dilemma and complicated the situation.
"Dara. . . me?"
Suddenly Dara pulled my hand and kissed my lips. I was so shocked by her sudden behavior like this. And, I felt somehow unhappy for the first time to hear Dara's answer that I had been waiting for all these years.
The dream I had always dreamed of was to be able to date Dara and to be able to win her first kiss. And, after I got both, for some reason there was something stuck in my heart.
It felt like my heart and mind weren't where they should be right now. Should I be happy when I managed to get what I wanted to get?
Dara released her hug and kissed my lips. I looked at Dara's face, her face seemed to be glowing and looked very happy. I should also feel the same as what she is feeling right now. But?
"Are you happy?" asked Dara as we were sitting together on a swing holding hands.
The beautiful woman who was now holding hands with me looked so happy. Did I have the heart to hurt her feelings? But, I had really hurt her and Nadia's heart. Perhaps, I'm one of the most brutal men in this world. But, has a guy as bad as me ever experienced anything like this?
"Are you happy?" I asked back.
"I'm really happy, thank you Niko for patiently waiting for me all these years. Thank you also for keeping your love for me all these years. Hopefully we can be together forever until we are old," she hoped.
I smiled and looked up at the sky. The sky looked so bright, but somehow my heart didn't feel as bright as the sky that afternoon. Am I satisfied with what I'm feeling right now? Do I have to feel the feeling of falling in love with Dara again?
It feels like my mind is very messed up today. God, please help me! I really need an answer that can make me not make the wrong choice. Everything will be beautiful in its time, Niko. But when will that beautiful time come?
How long must I suffer like this? Can't I be happy for just a little while? Do I have to leave the people I love before I can be happy? Is that what I have to do right now?
"Don't leave me, Nik. And, don't ever let me down," she said softly.
I was silent for a moment. Have I let Dara down?
"I . . . . "
"I want us to be together forever until death do us part. Don't you want to be with me forever?"