After what happened today, I felt like losing my mind for a moment. The problems are getting more complicated, Dara who suddenly came home and now Nadia who didn't come home and decided to stay at her parents' house. I don't want to be a selfish man like this, but I don't know what else to do.
Now, things are going to get even more complicated after Dara expressed her feelings and we're now indirectly in a relationship. I'm probably one of the biggest jerks on earth. On the other hand, I don't want to hurt Nadia, but I also don't want to make Dara feel hurt at all. Why is life so complicated?
"Nik. . . Niko. . Niko!" someone called, breaking my reverie.
"Huh? Yes, what's wrong?"
"Are you listening to what I'm saying? It's half past 12, the assignment has to be done quickly. There's only 30 minutes left!" Nina exclaimed, causing me to ruffle my own hair in frustration.
"What's wrong with you? Do you have a problem?" she asked when we were in the lab.
"No, I'm fine," I replied, forced to lie.
How could I say that I was torn between two difficult choices for me at the moment. Today I was a complete mess, during the lecture I couldn't concentrate at all. Even when we were doing group work in the lab, my mind was wandering.
"Nik, can you be professional? Can you leave your personal problems behind for this assignment?"
Nina looked at me sharply. Her long curly hair made me think of Nadia for a moment. Instantly, I realized that they both looked similar. Come to think of it, Nina was almost the same height as Nadia.
She also had the same pale white skin. And, what made me even more sure that they were similar was their smiles. Their smiles were exactly the same, they were like an areca nut halved in half. Oh my! Why am I comparing the two of them? Niko realized, they were two different people.
"Yes Nin, I can do it. I'm sorry, I haven't been focused on the task," I said regretfully.
Nina smiled and made me feel even more guilty. Not wanting to disappoint the group, I had to finish my assignment within 30 minutes. In less than 30 minutes, I was finally able to complete the assignment safely. Finally, I could breathe a sigh of relief as I walked out of the lab.
"This is the Niko I know, who is always enthusiastic about doing assignments and always smart in his work," Nina said when we had just left the lab room.
"Yes, Nin. My mind is all over the place, so I wasn't focused earlier."
Nina took off her elmo hairband that had been tied around her hair since the lab. While looking at me sharply, she folded her hands and let out a short sigh.
"I don't know what's on your mind right now, but I hope your problems don't interfere with your studies. You're a future doctor, Nik! I hope you'll be successful in the future," she said, which made me smile a little.
"Love is complicated, Nik. But I'm sure you'll be able to get through the problems you're currently facing. Now you're the head of the family, a head of the family must be able to lead his family in a good and right direction. A head of the family must also be wise in deciding on a choice, even if it is difficult."
After finishing her sentence, Nina then left with her other friends. For a while I tried to digest what Nina had said earlier. Yes, now I was the head of the family and I had to be wise in making decisions.
I tried to find Nadia in her class. However, unfortunately I had to meet Maxime and face each other. Both of our eyes looked unfriendly. In fact, our auras radiated hostility.
"Trying to run away from trouble?" he asked with a cold expression on his face.
"I've never run away from trouble!"
"As a man, you should be able to solve your problems quickly. Not dragging your feet in the same space. Do you want to be a real loser?" he said with a sardonic smile.
"I know where you're going with this!"
"If you know and understand, you should know what you have to do right now," she said quietly then stepped her foot slowly towards me who was standing.
"Don't let me take your most precious treasure and don't let it all fall into my hands."
I hissed. I looked away for a moment and then looked back at her with the eyes of a serial killer.
"There's no way you can take it out of my hands, I'm already attached to it and it's not that easy to let go!"
"Really? I think, I've managed to approach her step by step. I've even managed to pick up the pieces of her broken heart."
Maxime looked very confident. In fact, he looked at me without looking in any other direction. Instantly, I felt small in front of him.
"If you don't want me to take the remaining pieces of her heart, take good care of her and don't make her cry again. If I see her crying again, I won't hesitate to take her out of your hands!" he said as he walked away and made me clench my fists tightly.
Maxime was different from the man I knew. He looked tougher and dared to fight me. For the first time, I found a man who could protect Nadia besides me as her husband. He seemed so confident that he could have Nadia and take her out of my hands.
And, I felt like a real loser in front of her. In fact, I didn't even dare to look at Maxime's face. Is it possible for me to be happy with Nadia? Is it possible for me to let go of Nadia for Maxime who is more worthy of being with her?
I looked at the front. Nadia was standing and looking at my wrinkled face. I saw the image of Nadia as a child, smiling at me and looking lovingly at my face.
Now, this little woman standing in front of me has grown up. She has become my wife and my responsibility. What responsibility should I give her? Is this young marriage the wrong thing to do?
I just passed by Nadia, it was very painful when I had to meet her but I couldn't greet her or hold her hand. I can't even talk to her, can this household only last for one year?
"I love you, Niko," she said softly as she passed me by and left.
Plakkk. This was like a slap in the face to me. Did I hear it wrong? Was what I heard true? Did Nadia really say those words? I turned around and looked at Nadia's face who was staring at me intently.
Nadia smiled slightly with her sad eyes. With both hands, she kept her hands on her chest. Then, she made a heart sign with her hands.
With my heart racing, I started to panic when I saw Nadia giving such a sign language. Nadia continued her sign language by pointing at me.
Her eyes immediately glazed over, as if she was trying to hold back her tears from falling. I could clearly see her lips as if she was saying 'I love you', even though I couldn't hear her.
Nadia smiled at me and she said the word 'sorry' again, but no sound came out of her mouth. Then, she left and turned back around while looking at my face again.
My God, why does this love have to come so late? Why did I realize so late that Nadia meant so much to me?
I'm now too late to go back to her and look forward to her presence. Is there a second chance for me this time? This feeling is really painful, God. This heart hurts and I don't know what medicine is right to heal this wounded heart.
Suddenly, someone took my hand. I looked at her face, she was Dara who was smiling gently at me. Dara looked at my face with her sweetest smile, I returned her smile while returning her warm handshake.
"Do you have a problem, Nik?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm in a lot of trouble, Ra," I replied gloomily.
"What's the problem if I may know?" he asked
with a facial expression that looked so worried about me.
"Are you sure you can help me, when I tell you about it?"
Dara smiled and grasped both my hands tightly while looking at my face gently.
"No matter how big a problem you're facing, as long as you're next to me, it will definitely become lighter. If you share your problems with me, I'm sure we can get through them quickly," she said softly.
"Are you happy?" I asked, looking at Dara's small face.
"I'm happy because I have you by my side. You are like a vitamin for me. Thanks to you, I was able to endure five years of longing. Thank you, Niko."
"Thanks for what, Ra?"
"Thank you for waiting for me and making me a tough, strong and resilient woman."
I smiled slightly and hugged him tightly. Now I'm confused, I don't know who else to lean on. Regret always comes at the end and I regret not responding quickly to Nadia's feelings for me.
Now, I'm hurting the two women I care about the most. I was confused and wanted to disappear off the face of the earth.