"Are you angry with me about what happened yesterday?" asked Maxime.
"I have no right to be angry with you, Max. But I have to be honest with you. Because of what happened yesterday, Niko and I got into a fight. I think you should stay away from me."
"I can't, Nad. I already told you that I will always be by your side and will be your guardian angel, right? So, don't ask me to stay away."
"I already have a husband, Max."
"I don't care about your status."
"We just met."
"I don't care about that either."
"Do you like me?" asked Nadia suddenly, which made me surprised and curious to hear Maxime's answer.
Maxime was silent when he heard Nadia's question. Is it possible that Maxime likes Nadia? Is it that fast?
"You didn't answer my question. I'd better go," Nadia said and left.
"What if I really like you, Nad?" said Maxime suddenly, making Nadia's steps stop and making me very surprised to hear it. "I love you, Nad."
Nadia turned around and looked at Maxime's face intently.
"I don't understand how you can like someone you've only known for one day, what do you really like about me?"
"Love or affection doesn't need a reason, Nad. It will come naturally without anyone asking for it. Because affection is not there to be asked for."
After saying that sentence, Maxime then left Nadia who was still stunned and silent in her place. I tried to digest what Maxime had said to Nadia.
Maxime, who had only met Nadia once, already felt that much. But me, I who have known her for years have never felt that way about her. Am I one of those men who has no feelings?
I have so many memories with Nadia. But there's not the slightest trace of feeling left or imprinted in my heart for her. In fact, the first time we got married was without love. What exactly is love? Why does love have to come too late when I only realize it after a trigger?
I looked back at Nadia. She left with slow steps. I decided to follow her from behind. I see that back every day, but why is there no desire to hug it?
My feelings were mixed this time, but what I wanted to do right now was to run up to her and hug her from behind. I quickened my pace. As soon as I reached her, I hugged her from behind and made her look so surprised.
"Niko? What are you doing? This is on campus. Aren't you embarrassed to be seen by so many people?" she said looking surprised and it seemed like it was true that everyone around us was looking at the two of us who were the center of everyone's attention.
"Just five minutes, can I hug you like this for five minutes?"
Nadia was silent for a moment. I could only hug her from behind without saying much. It didn't matter what people said, but all I wanted to do was hug her.
I immediately took Nadia to the cafeteria and invited her to eat together. She seemed to be confused by me buying so much food for her.
"What's all this food for?" asked Nadia, looking confused.
"To eat, I saw that you didn't eat breakfast at all. Look, your face already looks pale like that. Eat up and finish it all."
"But, this is a lot."
"Should I bribe you?"
"Huh?"
I immediately took the initiative to feed her. Nadia seemed reluctant at first, because it seemed like everyone was staring at the two of us. For some reason, everyone kept staring at us today. Was our attitude so excessive that the whole campus kept glancing at us?
After a few moments of silence, Nadia finally agreed to be fed with the food I had bought earlier. I was already quite happy with my current life. Even though I'm just sitting next to each other like this, my heart already feels tremendous happiness.
After we both finished eating together in the cafeteria, we immediately hurried to go home. I was quite disturbed by something. We were walking side by side, but our hands were rubbing against each other.
Actually, I really wanted to hold her hand, but I didn't dare. Instead, our hands kept rubbing against each other and I finally got the courage to take her hand and made Nadia look so surprised.
"Niko?"
"Isn't it normal for husband and wife to hold hands?"
Nadia smiled slightly and I smiled back. I held her hair gently and lovingly. Her hair smelled of chewing gum, her long hair flowed in beautiful waves and the wind that blew her hair away made her body smell thick.
It smells fresh and sticks to my nose. It was a fresh scent that made me really like the scent of her body. It's exactly the same scent as my mom's. The scent of lavender is fresh like herbs, but still sweet so the combination creates a fragrance that is so soft.
"What's in the wind for you to be this sweet?" Nadia asked, causing me to stop.
I looked at Nadia's face intently with my hand still holding hers. I don't know if it's too fast or too hasty, but what I'm feeling right now are feelings that I want to tell Nadia as soon as possible.
I don't want to delay it anymore. I don't want to harbor these feelings, because it's enough for me to harbor them once. Because suppressing feelings is not fun. There is only more misery and suffering.
"Nad, thank you so much for marrying me. You've made my life colorful and I'm very grateful for that."
"You're welcome, Nik. I also want to thank you for being such a good husband to me."
We both looked at each other. I again ventured to hold her hands tightly. I also looked at her deeply and meaningfully. With a long sigh, I gently held the head of the girl standing in front of me.
"Nad, let's start all over again."
"What do you mean?" she asked confused.
I caught my breath slowly and took a long breath. While looking into Nadia's eyes, I continued to hold her small hand.
"Nad, I want to . . . we . . . us. . . ."
"Niko. . . Nadia . . . ," someone called out which made me and Nadia avert our eyes and look towards the source of the voice.
When we looked at the source of the voice, Nadia and I looked so surprised. Our eyes widened in disbelief at what we had just seen. A beautiful woman with long hair was standing, smiling gently and looking warmly at both of us.
That woman. . . she was back.
"Andara?!" we exclaimed in disbelief at what we had just seen.
"How are you? I miss you so much, guys!" she exclaimed, running straight to us and hugging us both so tightly that she broke my and Nadia's handshakes.
"Wicked, you guys haven't told me at all during this time! Don't you know how much I missed you two?" he said, reflexively kissing my forehead and Nadia's forehead in turn.
"Ra, is this you?" asked Nadia incredulously.
"Yes, this is Andara, your best friend since childhood. I'm the whiny Andara who will always love you both," he said, smiling again. "Niko, I miss you!" she exclaimed, hugging me and making Nadia look away.
"You're back, Ra?"
"Yes, I'm back. From now on I will never leave you guys again. I'll stay in Indonesia, we'll always be together and will never be separated."
Andara hugged me again, making me look at Nadia for a moment. Nadia smiled slightly at me. Now, I felt like I was back in my past memories. Memories of the past were popping up in my mind again.
I felt like I was nostalgic for a moment. The events of 5 years ago that I almost forgot. Yes, half the memories that I almost forgot when I got married. Memories that I wanted to replay, but couldn't. Memories where I only looked in one direction and that direction made me unable to look away.
5 years ago. . .
"Don't go, Ra. I still need you here," I said softly while holding both of Andara's hands and looking at her intently.
Andara stared at my eyes wide-eyed. Her eyes were puffy and red.
"I have to go, Nik. I have to go now, my parents are waiting," she replied.
"I don't want you to go, Ra. What about me? What about my feelings?"
I tried to stop her from leaving. I held her hand tightly, but the look in her eyes was piercing.
"I have to go. But, I promise to come back as soon as possible to visit you."
"When are you coming back? How long are you in New York? Are you sure you'll come back? And about my feelings? About our relationship? Can't you stay with me?" I asked with dozens of questions when it happened 5 years ago, when I was at the airport and I escorted Andara's departure to New York.
Andara was stunned. She was silent for a while and lowered her head. However, she looked back at my face with both eyes reddened as if she was holding back tears.
"Can't you stay here?" I asked again.
Andara was silent. She looked gloomy and lowered her head again sadly.
"I'm sorry, but I can't. I have to go with my parents," she said quietly.
"Why all this sudden? Why didn't you tell me all this before? Am I not that important to you?"
"That's not what I meant, Nik. I wanted to . . . ."
"Don't I matter to you, Ra?" I asked back with a sad, wistful wail.
"Was it hard for you to tell me beforehand that you were going away? Why did all my friends know about your departure, while I didn't? Why do I have to be the last one to know about your departure? Why, Ra?"
Dara lowered her head again. She looked very sorry and felt guilty for her behavior. I didn't expect Dara to be so strict with me all this time. In fact, she knew that she was a woman who meant a lot to me. But, why did everything have to go this way?
"I love you, Ra!" I shouted with teary eyes. "I love you so much that I can't help but miss you."