I still didn't understand and probably would never understand. Why was she so obsessed with fulfilling those expectations of people she most likely never met before?
Alice was so weird to me.
But I could never deny how truly genuine her feelings conveyed in this song.
She truly would do it all for them, her love for them, whether she knew it or not, was the most genuine.
After she finished the song, she turned off the Tissok, and her tears finally started. She cried hard and sobbed, I could feel how she was trembling to her core.
Having a breakdown just after singing that song for everyone, was that how idols could act?
Of course, maybe that was the case, but they still need to hide it.
For their fans, they should be perfect.
Ultimate.
All of those lies shall never be spoken, it was there to gather dust.
Forcing a smile…
I let out a sigh and threw myself to the bed. Why should I think about Alice so much? I was tired too, having so many mixed emotions inside me. It was very difficult for both of us.
Only our coping mechanisms were different.
I didn't specifically like Marcos, if we were talking subjectively. A good boyfriend material, that was him for me.
Alice, however, was head over heels for him.
Heck, if he told her to jump off a cliff, they would probably be in the hospital at this moment.
She was unconditional to him.
That was why I needed to act instead of her. That question he asked about accepting the current situation and even being his side chick instead of being his girlfriend showed how much he was sure about himself.
But it was me who answered. Even if he begged for forgiveness, I would never allow him.
Ah, my eyes hurt so much…
They were quite puffy, gosh. I don't know how I should deal with them.
I'm sleepy. My eyelids are already getting heavier, maybe I should let this body rest for tonight.
Tomorrow we'll deal with a lot…
I let my eyes rest slowly, in the corner of my eyes, I saw Alice's favorite microphone and a thought slipped into my mind.
I wonder, if Alice had a choice between Marcos and her career as an Idol, who would she choose?
I wonder…
And so, I fell asleep just like that.
When I woke up and checked the phone, a crazy wave of comments and messages attacked me. Hah, what was that all about?
I started to read slowly, they're usually the same words of 'ahhhh!!! I love you!!' and their cousin phrases, but a few were trying to know the secret behind Alice's new song yesterday.
Creating a song on the spot was not a thing.
The person would need to start by creating melodic and harmonic ideas, of course, without forgetting the rhythm. When the song genre gets decided, the vibes and the style follow.
After that, the song would start taking the shape it ought to be.
That was just from a singer who was trying to compose a simple song. As for someone like Alice, they would need to worry about other things.
But Alice immediately let that song out, people started to get confused and wanted to know more about this.
It was only natural, I suppose.
Alice was probably so tired to realize any of that, or maybe too tired to care. In any case, I stood up and started our daily routine since she was still unconscious.
It was rare for me to take over for a long time, I felt my head aching. This body did not want us both inside, heh. Or at least, wanted me to be trapped.
But would I care?
I checked the schedule and to my dismay, we had to film for a movie this evening. Which was literally a few hours from now.
Hah. My life isn't becoming any easier since yesterday, I should finish this shit quickly.
Thankfully, Annie soon arrived. My work got a lot easier with her around.
"Alice! Why are you dressed like that? We will be late, chop chop!"
She dragged me again into the closet and gasped in amazement, "Oh my! Those outfits are just so lovely, they're so comfortable and elegant too!"
Wow, she was truly boot-licking those outfits. Pun was completely unintended but I couldn't help myself, I laughed and slapped her back jokingly.
"Annie, stop asskissing those outfits and dress me up, we'll be late~"
"O-Oh!! That's true, ahem!"
She laughed sheepishly with her face flushed. Hahaha, that was adorable. Is she the type to be obsessed with outfits?
Maybe so. She got exquisite taste and enough experience to be Alice's Manager, she ought to have those skills.
She twirled me around two times, then threw the outfit she picked at me, ordering me with no hesitation as she started to look through the makeup, "Wear those and come back, today's scene is pretty easy but important."
"Aight aight, lemme do it."
I answered casually and started changing my clothes. She picked something really simple and comfortable, I liked that. A white wide v-neckline blouse with a black boot-cut flared pants.
They gave me a casual and gentle aura, coupled with light brown sandals.
"Great! Now let me put your makeup on for you."
I really got no choice, Annie, you are basically dragging me around at this point. But it's not so bad.
I loved the soft touch of the brushes against my face.
The cosmetics were cool and soothing.
It made my head drift to places and I only realized that once I was in the car. I was so dazed for some reason, exhaustion is probably catching up with me.
Soon, we arrived. I got out of the car and looked around, it was so pretty. The green plains were calm and serene, bathed in the warm hues of the evening.
I sat in the middle after greeting the Director and the Producer, the staff checked my makeup and tidied my outfit.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, the warm sun rays casting a gentle beam on me. And I could feel the flowery scent invading my nose and mind.
"Perfect! Now, the scene will start at 3, 2, action!"
The scene started and I lowered my head. It was some joy that both me and Alice shared. One of the rarest.
But instead of becoming another person like Alice…
I embraced the character. They are different, yet I can understand them.
"Antonio, I wonder what would you say if you were now with me?"
My voice held a sorrowful tone, accompanied by a soft sight. I slowly lowered my head more towards the grass until my forehead touched it.
"Antonio, why did you have to go so early?"
Ah this poor girl, her love was already dead. She was sad and desperate, calling him in a place that he would never be at again.
She wanted an answer from anyone, even if the wind spoke, she would have cried of joy.
That was not me.
But I could understand her.
That was how I could act, by being me.