I called out for her dead lover again and again, my voice cracked with her grief. She came here to this forest with her little brother, on the outside, she looked so happy and cheery.
But deep inside was so different.
It was always the bright smiles that hide the deepest regrets.
Today's scene was simple: just show the fatigue and grief of the person I was acting as, and then forcefully stop myself.
Grief was hard to get rid of, but she could not drown in it. She was the only person who was aware of her true sorrow.
And she was not entirely alone.
Her heart always warmed up to the thought of her younger brother playing with her. Laughing happily while enjoying her presence.
Life was not that bad for her, although she was separated from her lover, and always felt lonely and conflicted, she was not truly in despair.
I raised my head and took a deep breath, rubbing the corner of my eyes. And recited, "Antonio, you've left so early… But thankfully you did not leave me completely alone,"
I hugged myself, my arms tightly squeezing me,
"I still feel lonely without you, I want your warmth when I am about to go to bed,"
She felt cold, not because of the weather, but due to her heart being bleak,
"I wish there was a way to return."
A wish that will never come true escaped my lips. There was no way to return, Alice would need to understand that soon enough. Just like how returning to our childhood is impossible.
Just like how getting rid of me was impossible.
I wouldn't want that.
I flinched by mistake but thankfully, the scene had moved to the other part of it, where I was supposed to flinch.
"Sister!"
I looked behind, hearing her little brother call. She stopped brooding over everything and painted a soft smile on her lips.
I did that, and softly whispered, "But since that's impossible, I'll savor what I have."
She would never allow herself to feel regret once more.
"Cut! Perfect, no NGs at all!"
The Auteur happily announced with the producer by his side nodding in agreement. That was true, I remember Alice needing to retake or two.
Maybe I am just better than her in this, heh.
Maybe.
Oh that was right, she woke up earlier.
Alice, mind taking this instead of me then? I am tired.
You don't really seem to hate it, anyway. Continue acting since you love it. I will rest more before breaking down once more.
Haaaaa, this difficult girl for real…
I concealed my sigh and ignored her. I stood up with the help of one of the crew's members, and approached the Auteur.
"Are we going to do any other shots today?"
"Not at all! I love the way this shot was taken, so natural and realistic. I could feel the emotions from the screen, that is perfection!"
This Auteur was Diam Alvarez, he was one of the top people in this industry. Having filmed many blockbusters already, he created a huge name for himself.
Getting his approval meant a lot.
A smile blossomed on my face. I was about to thank him but his next words interrupted me,
"Alice, you are already a known Icon in the entertainment industry, but that is mostly as an Idol."
He stroked his long beard and tapped his pen on the table next to him, then added, "Your appearance in movies and TV dramas is quite weak, I must say. You don't receive enough promotion regarding that."
"Uh, yes that's true. My main job opportunities aren't in the filming industry."
"Such a waste!" He shouted while slapping his thigh.
Umm, thanks sir but that reaction was a bit excessive. Is no one thinking the same?
I glanced around, and surprisingly enough, no one had noticed anything weird. They were just smiling or giggling knowingly.
Did I miss something? I don't seem to be able to read the room that well now…
Suddenly he grabbed my wrist with both of his hands, looking me earnestly in the eyes.
Gosh… this is seriously nerve-wracking… What the hell is happening now?
Oh, wait I remember now-
"Let me sponsor you!!"
"Huh?"
"Eh?"
"Woah-"
What the hell? Sponsor? Huh? Me? Eeeeehhh?!?!
-He is quite crazy when he finds real talent.
What do you mean quite crazy, these knowing giggles from people around me also now stopped-
Oh wait. They thought he was about to secretly take me with him so we can agree on some sort of the unspoken rules.
Wow these motherfuckers are truly dirty, although that was not exactly something unexpected. I understand them, it was so rare for a person of this industry to be pure.
But Diam was no amateur. I assume he had enough of these young actresses already, he would not need one more. And certainly, not if the said one had real talent.
She, or in this case me, will thrive without him.
So he opted to sponsor me openly. But the question, once more, was 'why?'
Because that is his fetish, in a sense. He loves helping the talented ones to find their true path. Just like Aurora, Marianne, William, and others.
Goddammit those all were quite the names in the industry, and he was their sponsor huh. That was quite the upgrade in my eyes.
But well… Should I say yes? I mean, there is nothing wrong with that. Not exactly breaching any contracts as well, he and Christ could talk about it surely.
I'm sure it's breaching the contract-
Oldies can deal with it together, Alice.
I smiled sheepishly and carefully asked, "Umm, sir, I appreciate the offer but I am a bit unsure whether that could be done with my contract with AVO…"
"I can always deal with that, no need to worry, you just have to agree and to seriously follow my instruction!"
See?
He vigorously shook my wrist as if urging me to just agree to what he wanted, and I did not find any use in denying it any longer.
"Then, I would surely-"
"Mei."
I subconsciously released my wrist from Diam's hold and looked to the side. Only one person would call me that and not 'Alice', the only person who I personally told my name to.
There, I saw Christ smiling at me, but his eyes were like usual. Ice cold.
Or, maybe it was just my imagination, but they looked even colder and more dangerous.
I feel like I was about to be in an amusing situation.