"I don't want you!" Her mother's voice echoed in her ears. "Why couldn't you have been a boy?"
The words hurt her young ears.
"I'm sorry, momma!" the young girl would cry out. She would hold out her hands, hoping her mother would look at her with anything but disappointment.
As always, her mother turned away in disgust. "If only I had been able to bear a son. They wouldn't look down on me like that."
Her mother would always glare at her then. It was only when she turned five that she realized her mother always had her hand clenched around the handle of a knife when she did so.
The young girl's maids would always rush her out of the room at that point. Soon her visits with her mother became nonexistent.
Her mother was locked away, never to be seen, except for on special days.
Her mother's words were words she tried to forget as her world slowly turned from being filled with loving words to words filled with despair no matter where she went.
'I cannot cry here,' she told herself.
She shook away the past memories and focused on the door in front of her. Today was the day she would learn her fate.
It was never a good thing when her father called her to his office. She had been waiting for him to tell her this decision any day now.
It was today she would learn her fate. Would her father allow her to earn merits and take over the family? Or would he force her into an arranged marriage and seal her fate?
"Miss Eva Von Arco has arrived, My Lord." The butler bowed to her father.
Eva gracefully walked with her head held high. She was a noble after all, she was expected to act as such. She resisted the urge to bite her lip from nervousness as she curtsied. Memories of running about freely in the house were long forgotten.
"You will be married to Hans, so he can help us solidify the family," Eva's father said. "Be prepared to greet him before dinner."
Papers rustled as he straightened them. Eva looked down at the floor. Her voice caught in her throat.
There had to be something she could say. "As the head of the family wishes."
'What am I saying? I need to ask him why.'
Her father's office was deadly silent. Even the sound of the papers rustling as he scratched ink onto another document in front of him couldn't fill the silence.
"Why was, umm… Hans chosen to marry me?" Eva internally hit herself for stumbling over her words.
'What if someone overheard me speak that way?'
He paused his writing for a second and pressed the family seal onto the document. Eva waited for his explanation, but he carried on with his business as usual.
'When did my father turn so cold?'
She wanted to argue, but she knew the laws of the Kingdom. It didn't matter that she was the only child of her father. She could not inherit the family title of Viscount.
Arguing where the staff could hear her would only hurt her in the end. There was no longer a place in this house where she could talk freely.
Still, something told her that even if she did try to argue with him, that he could not hear her. He had closed himself off from her in this way.
This was the version of her father that she rarely got to see. Normally, he was so loving and encouraging.
"That is all, you may leave." Her father finally spoke, dismissing her.
With lead in her feet she slowly turned and left his office. She tried to think of when he had changed into this cold and ruthless figure.
'Had he kept this side of himself hidden from me these past seventeen years?'
'Where is the father that encouraged me at every turn?'
Her lips quivered at the loss of his warmth.
Perhaps, if she had touched him lightly on the arm and asked him why, he would have explained his decision to her.
'No, I have too much pride to lower myself that far.'
Her knuckles were white from gripping her dress tightly. Slowly, she released the fabric one hand at a time. She would save her thoughts for after she was behind the door of her room.
"Good day, Miss." The butler bowed to her at the door.
"Good day, Mark." She nodded her head.
She must not show any distress on her face. She didn't know who may be reporting back to her father.
Walking down the long hallway, she felt like it echoed the emptiness inside her.
All of her hopes and aspirations she dreamed of were washed away, one step at a time.
After reaching her room she took one large breath. Putting a smile on her face she opened the door to her room. Waiting for her on the table were tea and cakes.
"I have prepared tea, Miss." Her favorite maid, Lilly, set down a cup of tea for her.
Eva smiled sweetly at her and thanked her.
Sensing Eva's attitude, Lilly moved to leave the room. Eva waited until she had left the room.
As soon as the door clicked shut, the smile dropped from her face. The porcelain cup rattled on its plate as she slammed her fist down on the table.
'Why does a woman have to earn merits, when a man can simply inherit his position?'
It was something that she could never understand. Not even her father ever gave her a straight answer. He would always look away and mumble an excuse so he could change the subject.
Eva Von Arco was the only child of Viscount Karl Von Arco. It was her birthright to take over the family. Now she had to marry some distant relative who she had never heard of before?!
'Does my father intend to dress me up like all of those useless noble's wives?!'
She massaged her forehead as she tried to calm down.
No, it was worse. He was going to dress her up and sell her off to some stranger.
Eva could think of half a dozen other nobles of equal or lesser rank he could have arranged for her to marry. It didn't have to be to some random stranger that was so far out from their family tree that he didn't even make it onto the registry.
Everything that she had ever done was to prepare to take over her family's title.
She had thought that eventually her father would allow her to go out to the battlefield and earn merits for herself. However, the bitter truth was that he had arranged a marriage for her behind her back.
The whole thing made her sick. She wanted to go back into her father's office and argue with him, to somehow get him to keep his promise. He said that he would allow her to become an adventurer and earn merits for the kingdom. That she would have a chance at earning the title and carry on the family name herself!
He told her her entire life that she would someday take over the family.
'Was he lying? Has he given up on me?' Tears welled up in her eyes.
She would be no better than her mother, who spent her days sewing.
She wanted badly to remember the father that was her hero. The one person she could speak her mind to and discuss strategy with. Who was always glad when she barged into his office to talk.
Today's decision painted over those happy memories. The cold look in his eyes as he told her that she was to marry someone she didn't even know.
The man who was now her fiance was introduced to her as Hans.
'He doesn't even have a last name!' That told her everything she needed to know about him.
'How could my father give the Viscount title to someone like him? How could he give away his precious daughter?'
The nauseous feeling in her stomach didn't go away. 'I have to somehow put myself back together.'
The noble demeanor that she had perfected over the years was completely shattered by this news.
In a way, she was proving her father's decision to be correct.
'If he was just going to marry me off anyways, why did he let me train? To learn the sword and how to hunt? …All of those lessons on how to lead and manage a household?'
She could have just been learning bridal arts, like how to sew, with her mother. Not that she wanted to learn those things.
Assisting the head of the household was not something she was sure she knew how to do, and what was worse, was that her father had invited him over for dinner tonight.
Tonight.
She didn't even get to have a day to adjust before meeting her new fiance. This day really could not get any worse.
Sipping the tea given to her, she prepared herself for her first dinner with the 'no last name' man who would take her title away from her.
She wasn't sure how she would be able to keep any food down.
******
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