Chereads / …To Live / Chapter 22 - sorry, not sorry

Chapter 22 - sorry, not sorry

Beads of sweat formed on her forehead and she mumbled some curse words in her sleep. She twirled in her bed clutching the sheets tightly and her heart raced with an insane speed. Her pink hair was scattered on the sheets and her long flawless legs were curled on the bed. Someone would say she was cold but this was beyond that. She was having a nightmare again.

She gasped as her eyes screamed and grabbed her inhaler beside her, but before she could make her breath steady she caught a glimpse of something.

Her stepmother's evil grin with bloody eyes.

Presley's teary eyes screamed in horror and she finally woke up, as she sat up in the bed she grabbed her inhaler and placed it in her mouth then inhaled deeply. She sobbed on the bed not knowing what else she could do to get the images out of her because nothing seemed to be working. She was indeed helpless. The remontants of the nightmare still clung to her mind, like a shadow that refused to dissipate. She remembered the darkness that enveloped her, the feeling of being chased by an unknown presence

She really needed her drugs. After a while of sobbing, some eye bags formed below her eyes and she looked really messed up. Suddenly the thought of committing suicide occurred in her mind, it didn't occur to her that she would end up in hell. It was like something or someone was pulling her to kill her self. She dragged her legs lazily off the bed and searched for anything sharp to slit her wrist with.

She walked like a slough around the big room but when she couldn't find a sharp object, she unplugged the lamp and threw it on the floor, shattering it into small pieces of glass. She looked as if she had gone…even mad was an understatement. She sat on the floor beside the broken glasses and took a small piece of it, a small piece that was enough to slit her wrist. It glass cut her forefinger a little but she bared it without even wincing.

With shaky breath and hands she brought the glass slowly to her wrist. The scene of her doing the same thing with a knife appeared in her head, and it was so vivid…so terrifying but she didn't fret. With determination in her watery eyes she swallowed a huge lump in her throat and straightened her head ready to do whatever she wanted to do without hesitation.

"After seeing hell you still want to do this?" A soothing voice was heard by her, and it was coming from her behind. She would know that voice anywhere. Even if a thousand people were speaking at the same time she would always recognise that pleasing voice. This darn angel !

She scoffed and turned her head to her back, facing Esmira…her guardian angel.

"How could you do this to me" she glared daggers at her and Esmira exhaled deeply.

"You said you wanted to see hell" she replied, her voice soft as cotton, so pleasing to the ears.

"Why did you have to do this to me in the first place!!!" She cried

"I pitied you…you deserve a better life" it was like she had an answer for every thing Presley threw at her.

"So this was the life you gave me, a life of a princess living with blood sucking creatures!" She kept screaming but Esmira made it sure that no one outside the room would hear them.

"You seem to like Ze'ev though" Presley scoffed at her words

"Don't give me that freaking bullshit!" Obviously, she was letting her curse at her since they were not in the garden. "You should have told me why hell was like…you should have warned me…you're my angel right? Aren't you supposed to be protecting me from these things-"

"But that's what I did…I didn't want you there, no I couldn't bare seeing you in hell. The guilt would weigh on my chest for the rest of my life…and even if I told you, you wouldn't listen. You wouldn't listen. You wanted to see it yourself to be sure. I-I can erase the memory of it from your head, you won't remember a single thing from hell. I can help you Presley…like I have always done" her eyes pleaded.

"You've never helped me…you just made things worse. Why didn't you help me when Lori killed my dad. Why didn't you-"

"I can't interfere with human life" she broke her off

"But that's what you did!"

"You died…you were dead"

"Oh my God!" She laughed bitterly in disbelief.

"This wasn't supposed to happen but you killed Myra and -"

"I didn't kill anyone" she cut her off harshly and Esmira walked closer to her. Slightly tilting her head she asked.

"You don't remember anything?…from the dark place you and Myra found yourself in" Esmira was greatly confused. She really didn't remember

"I met Myra?" Presley asked in a more civilised tone but it seemed Esmira wasn't paying attention to her anymore.

"Earth to angel" Esmira heard Presley as if she had been speaking from a distance. She turned her head to her

" I have to go"

"No no you're not going anywhere yet, we haven't finished our discussion"

"I'm afraid we'll have to finish it later" she turned to leave.

"I am going to kill myself!" Presley threatened, halting her and she heaved a deep sigh.

"You can't, you won't be alone to until the next six months"she explained and Presley furrowed her brows. Which gibberish was she spilling out now.

"I don't get it"

"It's something you can't understand and I don't have time to explain…I really have to leave"

"So I am stuck in Myra's body and life?!"

"I'm afraid so"

"I am going to run away from this place" she yelled again but before she could even blink, she felt a sudden breeze slap her cheek, her eyes almost screamed to where Esmira had teleported her to. She stared at her with questioning eyes and Esmira shrugged her shoulders.

She wanted to run right?

She wanted to run away from there right?, well here they were, in the heart of the woods. She was really trying to keep her cool when Presley accused her for a lot of things but she would agree that Presley was stubborn. She was only trying to do her good but it seemed like Presley only saw the faulty things she did. She only saw her mistakes. After seeing hell she still wanted to commit suicide. Was she insane!. She did something wrong and she knew but blaming her for every single wrong thing that had happen it her life was wrong!

She wasn't lucifer

If she wanted to run, she should do it right now. All she did was save her from hell and it cost her alot.

She'd rather not interfere in her life anymore.

She was done!

Before Presley could say anything she was gone in the wind, like she was never there, leaving her all alone in the heart of the forest.

'Sorry, not sorry Ze'ev, looks like I disobeyed you'