Monday. October 22nd.
For two months, I stayed with Kendryck's family. I've had no contact with my dad, despite Killian and Charlie urging me to talk to him. They would convince me to open my own bank account to store my tips and get a credit card. I looked for an apartment with Kendryck, searching for the cheapest and safest option in Pontiac. We were able to find one in downtown called the 'Phoenix Plaza' for an affordable price. Thankfully, they allowed dogs. With Kendryck working at White Castle and earning a decent paycheck every week, we got our money together for the down payment.
I waited until last minute to return to my dad's house to retrieve more of my stuff. By then, we'd already started setting up the apartment, getting new furniture with the help of Kendryck's parents. But there were two things I wanted to get from the house that I forgot to grab the night: my computer and my piano.
The piano was Mom's. She was a niche musician up until she had the twins. Her name was locally since she's been on the radio a few times. She's been on TV, worked with massive artists, and performed at a bar called 'The Phoenix Den' every week. Mom started teaching me how to play the piano when I was five. When she died, Dad gave me her piano as remembrance. On the computer are some of her unreleased music I didn't want to lose.
I sat in the driving for ten minutes before going inside. My dad's F-150 was in the driveway. There's still a key to the house on my chain, I go inside without a problem. It's a Monday, my brothers are at school, Alma is at the library working, and Dad should've been in court or his office. But he's home.
Once I came inside, he emerges from the kitchen. "Vehren," he exhales, "you're home."
"This isn't my home anymore, remember?" I tilt my head and walk forwards. "I'm just here to get my stuff."
He watches me walk pass. "We should talk."
"About what?" I whip around. "You not accepting me because I'm homosexual?! That's the real reason you kicked me out, not the weed."
"I'm doing what's best for our spirits. I won't allow demons in my house."
"So you think I'm a demon?"
"I think there's a demon attached to your spirit. You believe it's nature, but it's not. It's against God."
"God made me this way."
"He would never do that."
I squint my eyes. "Yet here I am. I didn't wake up one day and decide to love men, Dad. I've always been attracted to boys, as mean and ignorant as they are. I find them beautiful, way more than girls. I can't help that."
"You can. Through God, you can get rid of your desires."
"You mean suppress them? I heard that wasn't healthy either." I shake my head. "I'm done talking about it. Kendryck and I got an apartment downtown. You won't have to see me or my demons again." I head to the kitchen.
"That's not what I want."
"That's what you got."
"Vehren…" I disappear down the stairs. In the basement, I zip up my computer and piano in their bags and wrap them on each shoulder. I go back upstairs finding Dad sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I don't even look in his direction, just open the door and leave for good.
After I start the loud engine, my face scrunches up and tears flow down my cheeks. I try to hold in my cries, but the feelings of abandonment had returned. I let out a horrible holler of pain and punch the steering wheel. "FUCK YOU!" I scream, wiping the tears away. A few breaths later, I back out of the long driveway.
I was relieved to move in with Kendryck. The first night, we celebrated with drinks and weed. I played a few songs on the keyboard, metal music turned into ballads. My voice carries each note well. I have a good control over my vocals and breath. We watched scary movies for the rest of the night. The next day, we both had to work.
Sunday. November 4th.
Kendryck and I wouldn't share another day off until Sunday. Most of the day, we slept in our rooms from sheer exhaustion. Around three in the afternoon, I finally woke up from my slumber. Lucci is curled in a ball asleep by my side. My room was bland at the moment, I almost didn't recognize where I was. In the living room, Kendryck ate a bowl of cereal, munching Lucky Charms as she watches 'Jersey Shore' on MTV.
I sit next to him with a pack of cigarettes, gluing my eyes to the screen. "We should hit up the strip club tonight." Kendryck suddenly said.
"Dude, you know I'm gay." I pop one into my mouth and light the end.
"So what? You don't think women are attractive at all?"
I shrug, blowing out smoke. "Occasionally."
"There you go. We should go to a club and further celebrate our freedom. You got the money, don't you?"
"I do." I smile. "I do have strip club money."
"We'll go around eight." Kendryck puts his bowl down and lean back. "I've always wanted to go to a club."
"Me too." I put out the cigarette in the ash tray. That night, we got dressed in our best and went to a strip club in downtown called 'Electrify'. It cost twenty dollars to enter. The place was lit with people and energy. Girls danced on tabletops and platforms half-naked to rap music. It's dark in here, only neon lights illuminate the room. Kendryck leads the way; he goes to the bar for drinks. He orders a Margarita; I get a Bloody Mary. We take our drinks to an empty table and watch the girls on stage.
"After this, we'll hit up a dance club and try to get some dates."
"Are you really trying to straighten me out?"
"No, I want to get laid."
I nod. "Fair enough." It wasn't long until a girl in a gold bikini came over. She was black, an omega, and her breasts popped out her top. Her hair was braided down to her back, and she had green eyes.
"Hi, my name is Rain. Do you fellas want a dance?"
Kendryck smiles at me. "Yeah." He turns back to her, pulling out his wallet. "Make it sexy for my friend here." I roll my eyes as Kendryck pays her. She gets on top of the table and faces me. Another song plays just in time for her to dance. She never takes her eyes off me. I found that intriguing, usually people look away after a while, getting icked by my blank stare. But she seemed just fine looking into my dead eyes.
"What's your name?" She asks over the music, getting on her knees to twerk towards Kendryck.
"Vehren."
"Interesting name. You're cute, baby. Don't be shy, now."
I smile and pull out my wallet. I give her a fifty and say, "You're beautiful, but not my type."
Rain's smile fades away. "What, you don't like black girls?"
"I don't like girls at all."
"Oh." She settles down. "My bad." She faces Kendryck, whose in awe of her body. He's ready with a few tens to train on her. "You're a lot more fun." She says touching herself. I roll my eyes again. After an hour at the strip club, we split and go to 'The Phoenix Club—the only club in Pontiac—a couple blocks down. There, we drank some more and hung out by the patio.
A fine girl was in there. She radiated light in Kendryck's eyes. He shoots his head over to me and gasps, "Did you see her?"
At this point, I was highly tipsy from the amount I drank. I was feeling it alright, and I wasn't stopping. "Who?"
"Her…" Kendryck goes to point, but she's gotten up from her table and started walking out with her friends. "I'll be right back." Kendryck gets up and speeds after her. I roll my eyes and drink some more. About ten minutes pass and I get up and go to the bar for another drink. On the dance floor, Kendryck is up against said woman, they're dancing with the crowd. I order cranberry vodka and sit at the bar.
Eventually, Kendryck brings the girl over to where I sat. "This is Emily. Emily, this is Vehren, my best friend."
"Hey." I shake her hand. "I'm not interrupting am I ?"
"No, man. I don't want to leave you hanging."
"I'm fine. Go have fun." I wave them off.
"You sure?"
"Yes. I'm not going to actually cockblock you." I take another sip.
"Don't drink too much, man. We both have work tomorrow."
"I can handle my drinks." I bark.
"Okay…" Kendryck looks at Emily. "Wanna go dance some more?"
"Sure!" Emily skips back to dance floor while holding Kendryck's hand. That wouldn't be the last drink in my hand. I would be so sloshed by the time Kendryck returned to me, I was incoherent and couldn't keep my eyes open.
"I was going to cut him off." The bartender said to Kendryck. Emily would go home with us, as the night wasn't over between her and Kendryck. I'm not surprised Kendryck bagged a girl so fast, he's a very good looking guy with a charming personality. I didn't want to hear them fuck, so I listened to my headphones all night. Eventually, I fell into a drunken sleep and woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache. Kendryck dropped Emily off at home, and I went to work with a hangover.
Our schedules were busy most of the time. Though I didn't sign up for full-time, they're giving me thirty-nine hours a week. The money helped with the billed and replaced my wardrobe with skimpy clothes I felt more comfortable in. I could finally be myself, and I lived in glory.
But of course, I wanted more.