*Ring* *Ring*
I suddenly woke up from my mom's call. She woke me up from her work.
"It's already 4:30 AM. You have class."
"Yes, mom…" As the phone call ended. And I can't help but growl, because except the fact that I woke up late, it is the last phrase he said.
I love you, Princess. I can't take it out of my head. I kept thinking about it. I'm scared for so many reasons. I'm scared that his feelings might suffocate me. I'm scared that he'll be my weakness but at the same time, I'm scared that he'll be the reason for me to get even crazier. I'm scared that if I ever learn how to genuinely love him, I'll lose him. I don't know. I don't understand any of this anymore.
The whole day went by. As usual, I acted like nothing happened, like nothing had been said to me. But as soon as I got home at noon after class, it was not night yet but I slept.
Here I am, standing in front of him yet there's a distance between us. We're back at the dim white room, him wearing the pure white pajamas of his and I'm wearing black polo shirt and black pants. As if we're from different sides of the story.
"I'm sorry for saying—"
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why me? Is it because I'm the only one who can see you all those years? Why fall in love with me? I haven't done anything for you to fall for me."
"Princess—"
"I know it is weird for me to say this now because we have almost done everything that a couple does. We already held hands, hugged, kissed… and almost had sex. But… I don't see why. I mean you're a…" I looked at him and I flinched when I saw his almost emotionless face.
"What? Say it."
I shook my head slowly, "You're a ghost. How can you feel anything such as love?"
"All you said… held hands, hugged, kissed and sex… all are physical touch." The way he looked at me was as if he was offended, "But not opening up and being honest to one another."
I laughed, "Honest? I basically don't even know you. You don't tell me why you were glitching. You know everything about me, everything I do and say, but I don't know anything about you."
"Because you try to push me away when I do."
"What?"
"Just like now. I told you I love you and you're trying to push me away."
"Because I told you I'm scared!"
"Then don't be scared!" I got shocked by his sudden yell, but at the same time, I saw how serious he was, "You think I'm not scared?! You think I don't get anxious?! You think I'm calm about all of this?! You think this is easy for me just because I'm a ghost?!"
He suddenly went closer to me and held my shoulders, "It's even harder for me because I want to be by your side all the time yet I can't! I want to kill every guy you find attractive yet I can't! I want to claim you mine to every guy you pass by yet I can't! I want to help you heal yet I'm becoming one of the reasons why you're hesitating! I want to go on a normal date with you yet I can't help but feel insecure because all of this is just a fucking dream!"
His tears started falling, dripping on this cold dim white floor, and his hands tightened on my shoulders. For the first time, I heard what he's really feeling. I finally heard his side, his thoughts.
"I know this is too much to ask but please…" he slides his hands from my shoulders to my hands, as he knelt down, "...please take a risk with me."
I immediately knelt down with him as if I heard nothing and immediately hugged him. He hugged me so tight, almost forgetting how big he is compared to me, yet I didn't feel suffocated or hurt, instead I felt comfortable and relieved.
"I'm sorry… I'll be back. I just need to take a quiz on my subject, then I'll be back." I muttered in his ear, and kissed his cheek. "You know what—"
As I woke up. I took the quiz via online, chit chatted with my friends a little bit, and slept as soon as I could. And the first thing I saw as soon as I got there was Vin sleeping under a big tree. His back leaning against the branch, his head slightly tilted, and his face is so peaceful.
I walked quietly, closer to him, and sat in front of him carefully. I put his long hair aside that was slightly covering his eyes. As always, the wind passed us and I saw how peaceful this was. The feeling of wanting to stay here forever has once again filled up my heart and mind.
Suddenly, he slowly opened his eyes, "You're gonna pierce a hole in my face if you keep staring like that." He said as he grinned mischievously.
I blushed, and I definitely felt that, "What?! N-No, I'm not! I'm not staring!" As I was about to pull back when he caught me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"You're so cute when you deny things. You just make me want you more." He chuckled, and I blushed even more. He leaned closer and suddenly kissed my ear which made me tickle, and out of nowhere, he licked my ear.
"H-hey, that's dirty! Stop…!"
"It's not dirty." He whispered as he trailed kisses down to my neck. I flinched a little bit and moaned softly, but then he stopped.
"W-why'd you stop?"
He kissed my cheek and smiled, "How about a walk in a park?" He asked as he stood up, offering his hand for me.
I sighed and took his hand. We walked over the park. As usual, there's a lot of people to make it seem real. Kids playing, ladies chit chatting, gentlemen smoking, and some selling ice cream and balloons. And it does feel real. If I don't know anything, this might be too real.
We bought ice cream, and he paid for it, as if we're really on a date and I just noticed how he dressed like a rich man on a date, and I'm wearing a white dress. We walk and talk like a normal couple on a date. Nothing perverted, dark side, past, or pain.
We were walking when suddenly a kid bumped into me and I woke up from surprise.
_______
That day, I slowly told Tesha about Vin. She doesn't actually say it but I'm sure she supports me, or at least goes with the flow with what I said. She also opened up about something, gave me advice, told me things that she doesn't like about me and I admit, it's my mistake. So, I decided to listen to her and will at least try to change myself for the better.
Day goes by and night has come.
I found myself in my house and so dressed up. My mom knocked on the door, "Vin's here."
I was so shocked that I immediately opened the door, "What?! W-w-what?! What do you mean?!"
"Stop yelling!" My mom said, as I calmed down a bit, "Vin's outside, waiting for you. Didn't you say you have a date?"
I gasped, and immediately ran out of the house and he was there, standing over a black car, wearing powder blue long sleeves that were folded up to his elbow, black pants and black shoes. If I don't know, he definitely looks like a celebrity.
He stood up straight when he saw me, "Hey. Let's go?"
"T-this… Is this still… a dream?" I asked, just standing there and not knowing what to feel.
He smiled and walked towards me. He planted a kiss on my forehead, and held my hand, "Let's go." He opened the door of the passenger seat for me. I went in, and the whole time while he's driving, I can't stop staring at him.
He drove us to an amusement park. "W-wow…" Believe me or not, in my 18 years of being alive, this is my first time in an amusement park.
It has lots of people, all unfamiliar faces. Family, friends, couples. "What ride do you want to try?" He asked.
I blushed, "Umm… actually, I'm scared of heights… I really can't do rides like roller coasters…"
He chuckled, "As expected. Thankfully, I had another plan." He pulled me to some booths with games. We played a lot of games, and had fun. Like time really exists in this dream, the sky has become darker.
As soon as we went inside, I closed my eyes and clenched my fist, trying not to be too nervous or see the outside. But then, I felt his hand over mine, so I opened my eyes, and he smiled, "I'll be here. I'm here. Don't be scared. Look…" as he looked outside and I slowly looked in the same direction.
My eyes widened, like my eyes suddenly sparkled. The lights of the buildings from afar, the lights of the amusement park rides and booths, the stars, all of it was so magical. "Vin… this is so beautiful… Thank you for—" my words were interrupted when I looked at him and he kissed me.
Our surroundings lightened up with the fireworks hitting up the sky, as he kissed me softly and tenderly. After kissing me, he looked me in the eyes and the light of the fireworks reflected in his face, he looked… so perfect. When my heart suddenly felt as if it pumped so hard, I woke up… too early.
I tried to message my friends but they're all asleep, so I said, "I guess I'll just sleep again. All of you are already asleep." And so I did.
When I got there, I found myself with him, under a bench, looking at the amusement park with the people running out of it because of the sudden rain. "R-rain…?"
He looked at me, "Yeah." He reached out for my hand and pulled me out in the rain.
"W-what are you doing?"
He chuckled like a child, "Let's have fun!"
He held my waist and suddenly lifted me up as I held onto his shoulders. "Hey!" I instinctively said, as he swifted us around with a smile on his face. He landed me on the ground as he started dancing.
The day we met,
Frozen I held my breath.
Right from the start,
I knew that I found a home for my heart…
A Thousand Years song started playing as we danced under the rain. It was too perfect. It was full of fun, full of new experiences, and full of love that I will never forget.
The song, the sound of the rain, and our laugh together has filled the place. The lights from the empty rides around us, and every drop of rain that touches our skin, the feeling was incomparable.