Even though it was a day off, the alarm clock announced that it's time to start my daily routine, but a hangover with a buzzing head and a terrible dry mouth erased any enthusiasm straight from the root. "You need to drink less" - a wise thought flashed through my head, which will verily be forgotten by the time of the next alcohol intake. Reluctantly, I crawled out from under the blanket and went to the kitchen to empty couple glasses of water. Returning to the room, I sadly watched the consequences of our get-together, I was so exhausted yesterday that I could not bring myself to clean up, fortunately, at least at the behest of my mentor, who called me before going to bed, I still bothered to take off my makeup and carefully fold the dress and wig. Looking at my yesterday's outfit, I felt my face starting to burn, it was terribly embarrassing to remember that I dared to flirt with Alex a little under the influence of alcohol! Or maybe I'm just trying to find an excuse for myself? I can't completely deny that I had fun, only it's too wrong for a man to behave this way!
By the time Lera came, I even managed to clean up the apartment and perform a set of exercises, although it's probably worth admitting that the way I did it today looked even more pathetic than in the first time I did the exercises. After that I get my strength to make a light chicken soup and was very proud of myself that I was able to!
- You look lousy! – It was the first thing Lera said to me instead of hello.
- But you are surprisingly cheerful! Didn't we spend last night the same way? - I was genuinely surprised.
- I just know my limits! But you, even pretending to be a girl, tried to drink on a par with Alex, which is clearly not very smart to begin with considering differences in your physique!
I stood not knowing how to answer, Lera was absolutely right, but I didn't want to admit it at all.
- If you intend to be a convincing lady, then you should start behaving more judiciously!
- Isn't judiciousness more inherent in the man's type of behavior?
- Very controversial. – Lera took a short pause picking up her words. – As for me, men truly rely more on logic, only there is one catch, they are too emotional! – I looked at the girl with a kind of condemnation. – Don't look at me like that, emotions are different! It doesn't matter what women, for the most part, are more openly showing their joy, sadness or empathy! On the other side it's enough to provoke a surge of hormones in a man and there is nothing left in them but emotions! Anger, passion, hatred, pride! These manifestations of emotions in men are much more vivid!
- Perhaps... - I found myself again in a situation in which it was difficult to argue with Lera, although I really wanted to!
- Did I really make you ponder? – The girl barely noticeably raised her nose pridefully of her preeminence. – In any case, it's kind of ridiculous to philosophize standing at the door!
- I can offer you breakfast if you want. – As usual, I tried to show hospitality, although it slightly conflicted with my inner feelings, Lera still annoyed me a little!
The girl raised one brow in surprise and asked with a smile:
- You even were able to find the strength to cook something? My respects!
- Although I don't feel very well after yesterday, but it's not that bad! Besides, it is the best remedy for a hangover! – We went into the kitchen, and for some reason I tried to justify myself while pouring soup onto plates.
- By the way, Vicky, what are your impressions of the evening spent as a girl? You know, this is roughly what your life will look like for a month with Alex!
- Let's not talk about it…
- Why? – Lera tasted the soup, and a contented grimace appeared on her face! She didn't have the same hangover I did, but apparently, she needed something like that anyway!
- Because it's just embarrassing for me to remember yesterday...
- You know, I'm actually not even curious about your emotional state, but rather about how you felt carnally.
This question drove me to a dead end, I somehow didn't think much about how I felt, after thinking a little, I still answered:
- I'm probably a little used to such clothes, I'm no longer excited by the fact that I'm just dressed like a woman, although when I look in the mirror the situation changes slightly! I can also say that walking with breasts and long hair is quite funny, even though it feels alien!
- Speaking of breasts, you should wear them as often as possible, this is especially important when you are making exercise!
- I understand, but what if I get too used to this role? What if I start acting like a simpering guy? It's going to be terrible while I'm retraining to be myself again!
- Well, firstly, you didn't use the term quite correctly, and secondly, I don't see this as such a problem, or will you be so offended that someone will call you a faggot? Not that you never call each other this way in a man's company as a joke!
- It's one thing when someone is teasing like that, and quite another when it is partially true…
- In my opinion, if you really manage to change your habits, then just start living like a woman!
Something inside me jumped when Lera voiced this thought. To live as a woman, it would probably be wonderful! I immediately banished this seditious thought and then replied to the interlocutor:
- You know yourself that it not only sounds stupid, but it's just impossible! – I said with an attempt to sound ironical.
- Why is it impossible? – There was a protest in Lera's voice, as if I was breaking some unwritten laws.
- Because, firstly, a man will never be able to become a full-fledged woman, and secondly, society will never accept such a perversion!
- The so-called society is deeply don't care as long as you convincingly play your role! Believe me, I already know about it! And yes, you can't give birth to a child, but that a barren woman ceases to be a woman? – Emotions were running high in the usually always collected Lera, as if it touched her to the quick.
- Don't twist it! You know exactly what I mean! And by society I meant something more mundane, friends, family, just acquaintances or colleagues!
- Yes, someone may turn their back on you, but if people cannot accept a person as they are, then they are not friends!!
- Everything is much more complicated... - for some reason at that moment I thought about my parents, probably they would have stopped talking to me, even if they just found out what I was doing right now.
- Okay, let's not talk about it now. At the moment, you're just an ordinary guy who has nothing to worry about!
After having a snack, we moved into the room, where, at Lera's insistence, I immediately changed my clothes, not forgetting to put on a breast form. Then I sat down in a chair, and my mentor sat opposite me and gently ran her hand over my cheek.
- Hmm, a very good result in a week, your skin has become noticeably silkier! – Her words surprised me a little, more precisely, the fact that yesterday she completely ignored it, although perhaps yesterday there was too little time to pay attention to details.
Lera was digging in boxes with cosmetics and laid out everything according to a principle that only she understood. For myself, I noted only that yesterday she used her own makeup bag.
A few minutes later, the girl began to lecture me about various tools, to tell the truth, my head was ready to blow up already at the moment when I was trying to remember what the differences are and why you need to use seven different brushes!
And that's why I just turned off when Lera started telling me about the need to moisturize my face and apply a primer. The next moment, the girl grabbed my chin and said, looking at me angrily:
- I know that you are not particularly interested in such things, but without it you will not be able to look attractive!
- I know that... - I answered, sadly looking away. - it's just... it's just that I can't get our conversation out of my head…
- Can you be more specific?
- About you turning me into a woman, all these things that I will have to learn to do…
- Victor! – Lera addressed me as a guy for the first time in these days. – Can you stop pretending that you're such a manly man? I'm not saying that you're a wench, but you're definitely not an ordinary male, and this whole situation happens with your consent, even if you didn't expect that we would go so deep into your transformation!
- But…
- No, but's! – The girl interrupted me without even letting me insert a word. – Be a man in the end and accept these changes with dignity!
- Somehow one contradicts the other…
- Do you want me to tell you how it's going to be? - Without bothering to hear my answer, she continued. – Every day you will enjoy what is happening more and more, with each new detail you will feel more and more feminine! – Lera looked me straight in the eye, and perhaps catching my thoughts immediately answered the unsaid question. – Why do I think so? I saw your reaction yesterday when you probably saw yourself differently for the first time in your life, you liked to see a girl in the reflection! And I also saw how you behaved with Alex! The more feminine you feel, the more you will worry about how he will look at you! You will begin to notice the desire in his gaze, you will begin to pay attention to how his body reacts to your sexuality! One day you will want to see him naked, make sure that you are really able to turn him on! And then the desire will awaken in you, at first you just will want to touch a man's body and an erect penis! But once you feel this primordial power in your hands, you will no longer be able to resist, your fantasies will be filled with the desire to feel control over this trunk! And gradually the desire will get the better of you, at first you will offer him a simple hand job, but after seeing his penis so close in front of your eyes and taste the sweet smell of male arousal, you will want to move one step further! In the end to feel how he stretches your narrow, but already languishing with desire hole! And after all this, you will feel like a woman!
At the end of her monologue, Lera was already breathing heavily, and her eyes began to twinkle. Through the thin T-shirt, you could see how her nipples and swollen and even the bra could not hide it. The girl's body was covered with pink blotches, indicating strong arousal. It was strange to witness this, but what made the situation even more strange is that I myself reacted in a similar way, with the only difference being that instead of nipples, my penis increased in size, and it became terribly cramped in small women's panties and tights tightening my body.
Closing her eyes, Lera took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled, trying to regain control of the emotions that flared up.
- You don't have to respond; I saw everything by your reaction! – The girl looked at me with some pity. – Maybe now you're thinking about what a pervert you are, but you should stop reproaching yourself! What you just felt is quite normal for the girl we are trying to make you! Perhaps none of the above will happen, and you will return to your normal life, although I do not think that you will ever be able to forget the pleasure that you experienced yesterday, and therefore, even if you remain a man, you will sometimes return to the image of Victoria, fortunately you will have everything you need for this!
Lera stood up and went to smoke. I was left alone and sitting in ominous silence trying to realize what had just happened.
The pictures that popped up in my head aroused me and it created a feeling of wrongness... maybe I was just convincing myself that I was an ordinary heterosexual guy, but in fact a latent gay who was just scared to hell of his true desires? Although this is not true, I do not feel attracted to men ... and I have known Alex for quite a long time and before this whole situation, I did not even have anything like this in my thoughts. So, the whole point is that I feel different when I get into the role of a girl? But is it really possible, just like that, to rearrange your preferences just by dressing up in a woman's image? Maybe I just have a split personality? This thought made me quite laugh!
"Would it be easier for you to accept this situation if someone else was responsible for your actions?" - suddenly an extraneous voice sounded in my head, and it definitely belonged to a woman. "It looks like I'm completely gone crazy!" - I tried to say it in my thoughts, but it sounded unlike the previous sentence.
Lera returned to the room and this distracted me from the almost begun internal dialogue with myself.
- I'm sorry, I probably went a little too far! – Said the girl leaning against the jamb of the doorway.
- Lera, you said earlier that you were playing a role yourself, what did you mean? – not knowing what to answer, I decided to change the subject.
- Never mind! – The girl snorted, clearly not wanting to develop this topic.
- You know, you turned my soul inside out, maybe a little frankness on your part would be a fair exchange?
- Well, okay... - my interlocutor sadly shook her head and went deep into the room to sat down on the bed. – Come here. – Lera patted near with her palm, hinting that I should sit next to her.
I sat down next to Lera, and she immediately snuggled up to me while leaning her back against my shoulder and began to talk:
- You know Vicky, - she spoke to me again, as if I were a girl. – I don't usually talk about it, and in fact, of all my acquaintances, only Alex knows about it. You may have already guessed but I'm attracted to girls! I only found out about it when I was studying at university! We were fooling around with the girls, and somehow it happened that one of senior kissed me! It didn't take long for her to swirl my head, and in the end, I fell head over heels with her…
- Why are you telling me this? – I probably asked it with too cold intonation as Lera looked at me a little offended.
- I'm pouring out my soul to you, and you're not interested at all? - The girl pouted her cheeks with displeasure. At that moment, she seemed like a very ordinary girl, without all this bombast and glam.
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, it seemed to me that I would be the last person on this planet with whom you would confide.
- I just have so much dirt on you that you will never dare to give me away to anyone! - Lera giggled rapaciously.
- But now as I know this, you won't be able to manipulate me so much!
- Such a naive girl! – Lera stroked my head, and then returned to the pose in which she began the story. – So, where was I? Then I discovered something new in myself... yes, it destroyed my relationship with Alex, but I could no longer deny my true self. By the way, I didn't date that girl for a long time either, a year later she graduated and left me as an unwanted toy. Although I am still grateful, without her, I might not have found out about my preferences and would have continued to live unsatisfied!
- Are you hinting with this story that I, too, will soon discover my potential?
- What word did you choose, "Potential"! – Ironically pronouncing each letter, Lera uttered the last word after which she laughed. – No, I don't think that you will suddenly become gay, I don't see any prerequisites for this!
- You yourself recently predicted that I would lose my anal virginity! – I tried to say it in a jolly voice, although inside it seemed to me that I was trembling from unease.
- It's just sex! I still have sex with men sometimes myself, it doesn't make me straight or even bi! – Lera lay down on my knees and looked into my eyes. – Your situation is indeed very unusual! You know, if you were attracted to men, you would have realized it long ago!
- What are you getting at? – I caught her gaze, but for some reason I was instantly embarrassed and tried to turn away, noticing how the girl smiled slyly.
- You want to feel like a girl, and in your view, it is quite natural for a woman to be attracted to a man. And let the sex between you be technically homosexual, but mentally it will be a relationship between a man and a woman! It sounds strange, but that's how I see it!
- Sounds like an excuse to me!
- And for me, all your behavior is just an attempt to find an excuse and convince yourself of the wrongness of your own feelings!
- I don't even need to convince myself of this! Ask anyone and he will twist his finger at his temple and say that I am a pervert! – Speaking, I made a similar gesture myself.
- Is the opinion of others so important to you?
- Yes, it is important! And do you behave differently yourself? You're hiding the fact that you're a lesbian! – I said it while glare into Lera's eyes, it's amazing how inner rage adds courage!
- I'm not hiding it! And I've never been embarrassed about it! It's just my personal business! And yes, I do not want a biased attitude towards myself, it is enough to have eternally condemning looks from the fact that I am a woman in my thirties without children and in a management position!
- That's just in my situation it won't be possible to just keep silent ... by the way, aren't you just a secretary? – Ironically, I tried to change the topic.
- Under an employment contract, perhaps. In reality, I am the deputy chief! – There was no intention in my words to hurt her dignity, but judging by the way she stood up resentfully, that's exactly what I did. Although, after waiting a few moments, she continued our conversation. – I want to say again that you should not deprive yourself of opportunities just because someone thinks it's a perversion!
- We return to the fact that, alas, I think so myself. I will not even hide that I have always treated representatives of sexual minorities with squeamishness…
- Are you saying that I disgust you now that you know what I am? – The girl came up to me at point-blank range and hanging from above glared at me angrily.
- No... it doesn't really matter to me; I judge you as a person. – and then added in a whisper. – Although I don't really have a good opinion of you.
- Hey! That's was hurtful! What have I done to you? – Lera deliberately crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head lightly, slightly lifting her chin.
- Should I list everything you've done to me lately? – I asked her a rhetorical question, and then returned to the previous topic. - You know, my opinion remains negative. I'm talking about homosexuality as a phenomenon. – I was a little ashamed that I think so, but I didn't want to be a hypocrite.
- Not that it was surprising, we were brought up in this paradigm, and I will not hide that now as it has become trendy and the way it is imposed by the modern agenda is also distasteful to me.
- It's strange to hear this from a representative!
- Why? I would just like to live in peace and not be judged for my preferences. I'm not going to shout or demand special treatment; I don't think my orientation makes me better or worse. – It was difficult to define Lera's bouquet of emotions in the way she pronounced these words.
- What about equal rights, the right to marriage, or the opportunity to have children? – For some reason, I was outraged by her position, although what does it really concern me?
- No one will prevent me from having a child! This is more of a problem for non-traditional men. For the rest, I don't know, maybe I just haven't found someone with whom I would like such a relationship. – Now she sounded disappointed, but, unfortunately, I didn't know if I should say anything and try to cheer her up.
There was some heavy silence and unable to stand it, Lera looked at the watch on her hand and said:
- We've spent a lot of time talking! I have to leave soon, and I haven't taught you anything!
- Perhaps we should postpone this for the next time?
- No, no, no! That's not gonna do! I'm will some put makeup on you, and you try to learn at least something!
- Whatever you say, mentor! – Although I thought it would be futile, but it's worth at least trying.
- I will send you video lessons and you will have to take time for makeup every day! Just don't overdo it, otherwise you can harm your skin!
- And I also need to allocate time for body care, exercises, practice a feminine voice and you'll come up with something else! Think I should forget about entertainment and relaxation!
- Perhaps you should change your approach, if you consider your feminization as entertainment, then the process will be more enjoyable!
The advice, of course, was not so bad, but it's not so easy to just take and start thinking otherwise. Lera applied makeup to my face thoroughly explaining each of her actions, and I was even able to partially learn something. After that, we said goodbye only to see each other again tomorrow. My adventure of becoming Victoria is still far from over and I would like to say that I'm done for today, but the truth is that I still have a lot to do before I can even take a little break!