"Hey! Have you heard of the news? It seems someone has finally succeeded in defeating the final boss!"
"Yeah! I can't believe it! After all these years, I was convinced it was impossible to beat it."
"It's a definitely astonishing feat."
The chatters of the boys lingered on the bus as it was heading towards the community college. The wind was brushing against the outer of the bus, creating a calming yet disturbing sound. The bus was full of teenagers, all dressed in the same school clothes. A dark blue pants or skirt along with a white button-up shirt.
"Have checked your messages, I sent a new beauty product I saw on that magazine you gave me. It looked amazing!"
"Oh, really? Let me check it real quick..."
Almost everyone seemed to enjoy themselves in the bus, talking to each other and laughing every once in a while. Almost everyone.
There was a boy who was the only one with no company of another. He was sitting in front of the window, all the way back at the last seat. It was obvious he was avoided on purpose since there was no one even in his close proximity. Yet he didn't seem disturbed by the abnormality of his social standing, instead, a null expression was plastered upon his face. His lifeless eyes watched the ever-changing scenery outside the window.
"Sigh..."
I sighed as I was getting annoyed by all the talking and chit-chat around me. I reached for my pockets and pulled out a classic in-ear wired headphone and put it on, immediately started listening to some Lo-Fi to cool off my head.
As the music silenced the voices and sounds coming from the background, I once again started to mindlessly gaze over the ever-changing scenery. As time passed, I lost deep in thought.
Over the years I had been thinking about only one thing. I analyzed it thoroughly, investigated every possibility as to why it turned out like this and confronted my own experiences and thoughts head-on to make sense of why and tried to find out a reason, or rather an excuse to answer why.
As I glanced at my fellow students on the bus, I once again asked myself, why was I like this? Someone who didn't or couldn't bring himself to interact with others or try to form some kind of relationship with them. I felt like someone outside of the human world. I didn't feel any kind of belonging to these people. Or even any human at all.
I always viewed myself as an outsider. Even in most "mind-blowing" conversations, I wasn't intrigued even a tiny bit to bring myself to be a part of it. I didn't find the energy in me to do that. So I always ended up watching others from outside. Even those chit-chats seemed too far in my eyes.
Then again, why? Why was I like this? I didn't know myself. Or maybe I knew.
I closed my eyes as the memories of a long-forgotten past surfaced over the sea of my consciousness.
*Ding...*
"Sweetheart, can you open the door?"
The little kid ran towards the door with a huge smile on his face.
"Dad! You are back! I thought you were going to be late again."
Before even getting his coat off, the middle-aged man hugged his child. The kid clung on his dad's arms as his dad tried to stand up. Realizing his child wasn't letting him off, the father stayed there for a whole minute.
After finally letting his father go, the child returned to the kitchen where her mother was preparing a grand meal. After taking his formal clothes off and wearing home clothes, the father appeared in front of the kitchen door.
"You are as talented as always. It smells very great."
Hearing his father's compliments, the little boy immediately tried to copy his father.
"My mom is the best at everything!"
Hearing all the praises, the mother couldn't help but smile. Today was Christmas. That's why the family was so excited, especially the little kid. The Christmas night filled the house with joy and love.
However, the memory started vanishing just as it came out of nowhere. I came back to my senses, finding myself once again staring at ever-changing scenery without a purpose.
As I remembered some cheerful moments of my life, a bitter taste was left in my mouth.
"It's all gone now..."
I mumbled under my breath as I reminisced about my time with my long-gone family. It was all a person could have ever wanted from life. I had everything. But nothing lasts forever.
My father and mother had been killed years ago by a maniac who was indebted to my parents. I guess it was his way of getting rid of the debt hole he was in.
Painful memories of my mother getting stabbed to death multiple times flashed across my eyes. The marble floor was stained blood red as the screams of agony filled the once lively house. The night ended with a little boy staring at his father and mother's dead bodies with blank eyes.
The murderer, "out of his goodwill", had decided to spare this innocent child for some reason.
'He should have killed me there...'
Such thoughts drifted through my mind. But I didn't feel rage. Or rather I just felt numb. That night my parents were killed, something inside me died forever. I lost any motivation to be a part of the society again. I felt uncomfortable being intimate with others.
I just let life mercilessly drag me from one place to another.
After living my life without anyone around me, I got used to it, and in fact, found peace in it. I realized I accepted this fate after all. At this point, living or dying didn't matter to me anymore. If ever death came to my door, it would find it open.
As memories began disappearing, I realized we had come to the familiar cliff we always passed through while going to school.
"Fuck!"
Following the driver's shouting, the bus suddenly lost its balance as its wheel tripped over a boulder.
"Kyaaa!"
"Noo!"
All the students screamed out of fear as the bust rolled over and fell off the cliff. There was no way anyone would live from this fall as the cliff was too steep and high.
As I watched everyone with horror on their face, I didn't feel a thing. I wasn't scared, in fact. The feeling I was experiencing was not even close to fear. I felt relieved as death itself materialized in front of my eyes.
'What a coincidence...'
To think that death would come just as I thought about it.
'Finally... I am saved...'
Something inside me began burning as I, after a long time, felt a sensation in my last moments. It was more like a feeling of thrill. But soon it diminished as I lost vision and everything turned black.