Hesitation for living the live you imagined. Maybe got another chance to solve the equation. My husband went in private affair then I liked someone who rejected me and then someone liked me who had me after trillions fucking problems. I was lucky to have that luck with me. I named it Luck cause this time I somehow had trust too. Ron, I was in a relationship with. I broke up with him before our wedding. He was too Stubborn to move from his own theory. He loved me more than I deserve. It was normal until, having him is so special until, getting married was a dream until, leading a better life is bless until, until you know your best-one, your most lovable person was unsupportive, was antithetic. Talking about Smith. Delighted to get his courage back then. Fifty miles after, fifty miles forward... everything was normal until Ron came in my life. Smith gets married with Finch and it was 2 years of their wedding. I was happy too. Smith was happy too. Finch was happy too. Then the problem came no one expecting. First their friend group second Smith himself. I didn't get shocked when I heard Sean was in love with him. Younger age, younger feedbacks! Their friend group still wants them to be in relationship. Like seriously? He is married.. how can you want someone's divorce? They wanted my divorce with Starc too. I agreed with them cause it was Starc's fault and hope so I didn't deserve him. All the way down, they really wanted the divorce. Maybe they didn't show it much but Finch understood. And cried. Poor Finch! What was his fault? You can say some words to your wife, some bad lines too. Isn't it okay? Isn't it okay that I crossed the limit often? Why we give up? Marriage isn't a joke. First of all Smith hides things from Finch and Finch even didn't react much. But then Smith is again here expecting an imaginary divorce from Finch with his fellow friends. Like wow! He told Finch about Abbott and about Ron too. I didn't react much. All I did was vanish it before it can enter in my heart. It made me demanding lightly. But I didn't have a choice. If I compare, Smith selected his own happiness, so did I. Just as him.
____
Ron Edward
Things should be started from where it left.
Getting bored is being often leisure time in my life. After graduation, all you expect is to live a good life with profession and love. Maybe I lost passion from my family as I lost my ownself between them. I was only a teen when I faced some unwanted and allergenic issues. I saw Richie when I went to Oxford library. I didn't recognise him at first glance. I couldn't take my eye off of him. I still remember how elegant he was looking! I was sure that he didn't know I was Root's brother. He was talking with me as a stranger. It was the starting of my life. I didn't sleep well from that day.
Life is the combination of ups and downs.
Highlighting the highlights of my entire life. I need it as I need a breath. So it went to our relationship with much passions. The dignity I had for his was a few reflection of my whole love. I know he got much troubles just after saying my name when they asked for his new crush with whom he's going to live the entire life. Much troubles started with someone maybe named- Smith when he heard my name again. He was shocked how I liked him too. He was shocked how Richie liked me. It wasn't possible.
Haters give you much courage more than lovers do.
I gave the belief in Richie that he needed to move on with me. I know his life was miserable down to his feet. I can still feel his tears in my memory. I didn't want anyone to hurt him more. Maybe I did give Richie a better life, he still deny or doesn't spell properly. I feel laugh. He got divorce, he got rejected, he got hate, he lost friends, he got insults, he got fake people around him. He never prefer his own life. His own self. Even if anyone told him to not make relationship with me, he'd have listened him with a open mind. The people! I just wanted to snatch him from the group he'd been with. The group I known as garbage where people don't throw shits. They hate even using it. I hate them more than opponent hate each-other.
Hate can't be turned for Love. If it turns then it wasn't hate, it was dislike. Hate is Hate.