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What you did, I did it too
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Never been a diary writer.
People often forget when it's time to. Whether they fall in Love or they try to release themselves. I'd write about someone special here. Someone who first fell in love then led me to him. Someone who desired but didn't ask. Someone kept himself forever aside from my path.
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"So you've done sharing everything?" Cummins asked while eating sandwiches. "Mm-hm." Eiden Avert replies. Cummins stayed at his glare for making sure, he was eating vegetarians. "Why are you so different?" He leans on the chair and sighs. Avert smiles and made an eye contact, "Cause different attracts." "I love your smile," Cummins passionately yells. Eiden Avert keeps eating.
The smile he praised about, he hasn't seen since decades. Somehow, he feels special in his deep heart, the reason is he, himself. He always tries from heart and soul for becoming the reason. And here he is, watching himself in the mirror. He isn't seeing his reflection, all he was seeing, Eiden Avert smiling. The scene from last night.
"So, ahm. Can I ask something?" Cummins tried to ask what he wanted for years. "Sure." Eiden Avert replies. Cummins narrowed his eyes, wishing to change the tone. Rude to soft. Hasn't gotten it yet. "Can you give me something?" "Like?" "Ahm. A soft tone?" He asks cordially cause Eiden Avert was one of Cummin's obedient lists. "I'm sorry, I didn't understand." Cummins takes a breath. Still, he speaks like he is his Cheif Manager. He holds Avert's hand between his. Leans a bit closer. Calmly speaks, "I want you to be changed. And I will change you. But there are some things YOU HAVE to change by yourself. Like your tone is one of them. You should talk with ME in a soft tone. Like lovers talk." Eiden Avert chuckles hearing his conditions. He nods cause he knows Cummins will never appreciate if he disagrees. He loves Cummins's smile too. He will never know.
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Dark blue Raiss suit he wears tonight. Looking sharp and charm. Defeating all the other beauties living in the whole universe. That's how Cummins takes him every time. Extends the right hand for condign and adequate expectation. Eiden Avert stops before the entrance on white rose petals filled the entire floor. Before he puts his legs on the beauty, he needs the hand to hold. He gave his hand to take him in his world. Cummins gives the soft smile and pulls him in. He makes the chair comfortable for Eiden Avert. He nothing but laughs. He rotates his head around to see, how beautifully the room has been done decorating! Nuit candles are all around. White and blue floral flowers are making the dim light reflect bright. That's how Cummins made each decoration. How nice it looks!
Poured wine on his glass. Cabernet sauvignon's pick. The wine he loves. He sometimes doubts him- how can one know everything about another inch by inch? He was locking his eyes on him while he was pouring the wine. His hands were on his cheeks. He blushed too. Cummins noticed it while capping the bottle. They alofts the wine and cheers for their 6 months.
After one sip, Cummins holds his hand as Eiden Avert looks at him. Feeling, he wants to tell him something. So he goes, "Eiden Avert, it's been more than 6 years and now I have you with me. You might know how I passed the 6 years alone, trying, dying. It was never your fault why you didn't accept me. Neither was mine. It was only the situation that your pasts created. I had a faith in my deep soul, I am going to change it. I hardly believe I did. How I see you smile over things, how I see the hard shape of your face has turned to normal, how your tightened jaw shows wide line with lips, how the behaviour of your changed to a Lover's [laughs a bit]. So I do believe I did. But yeah, you helped me a lot to reach. I felt the spaces and the considerations you made for me. You sacrificed yourself too. Though it was the taughest 6 years I passed, at least I have you now. I have you between my heart and my life. I always wake up in the morning with one motive, 'I will end the day watching your smile each hour.' And it's been a routine now. Maybe that's the bit of coincidences I deserve. We need all those to be normal as you become normal now." He stands up and slips a square tiny box from his pocket. Kneels down. Open the box for him and looks above. "I want to contine my daily routine with you, Sir. I want to have you till death. I want to live the rest of my life with you. I want to make you the happiest person you never see. You already filled my many wishes. But can I ask for JUST another? Will you marry me?" Everything melts. The light sines like sun. The candle flashes like lenses. The wind flows like heaven. Eiden Avert nothing but feels his eyes got heavier. That's why he called him! He thought. He stands up before him and extends his left hand JUST FOR ONE MORE TIME. A big yes. Cummins twisted the ring of his finger and gives a kiss. He feels one drop of tears fell on his temple. He looks up, he can't see him cry. He stands up and hugs him. He should cry. Not Eiden Avert. He never imagined, he would accept him. He hugged him tightly and feels the faster beats running between. "Don't cry." Cummins says. "Not crying," Eiden Avert confirmed. Cummins looks on him and wiped the teary eyes. He holds his jaw and helds up. "This June." Eiden Avert widely looks. Cummins closed the distance between them and kissed him. Eiden Avert kissed him back. Holds him tightly than before and kissed deeply.
26th June, 2021
Write so many things. Hides so many words between lines. I have come to an end. Still thinking, I am unable to hold him in my words. Maybe I write half of him or maybe I didn't write the half either.
I found him in an event where he wasn't supposed to be. We called it luck. Maybe it was. I was the fortune holder. I am still thankful to Lord for having him. I don't know withing 6 months, how he changed me. When I look at the mirror, I see myself. Not the worst I used to see. Not the worst I became then. He always says, he hasn't seen my smile. But within one month, I stopped hearing that. Cause stopped the running. Stopped running the silence, running the pain. It was like, he made a huge parapet between my past and present. Nobody ever breaking it. He was so happy when I was too. I don't know why I laughed maybe he told me some jokes. But I do remember, he was staring at me like he is never going to stare like that again. I captured him then. Since the night, I smile often. And keeps him happier too. I soften my tone too. I gave him sufficient spaces too. What he did, I did it too. Each and every things, I tried like he did. He was easy to achieve, but staying with me is the worst decision he ever made. He told me, 'I choosed the taughest thing after knowing I'm gonna make it easier.' And I will tell him, today- YOU MADE IT. You made it Cummins.
This the last page of my diary, I'm going to give him tonight. The reward he deserves after me. And maybe I'm never going to become tired of saying him how much I love him. How much I do.
Eiden Avert reads the last page out on his wedding. Everyone claps and he feels cry too. He never imagined how he has made the promises with Cummins holding hands. He is keeping those forever.
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