Back to the conclusion,
I proposed Ron right then I got rejected. Maybe I broke his trust and our bondship too. I lost each of my trusts left on him. I broke his heart like he did mine. Maybe some of international matches I got in hand when it teaches me the most important lesson in my life. I got back after surviving which was totally out of everyone's hand. I made it easy throughout my entire life. Ron's rejection was the reflection of my act before Abbott. There I were him and Ron were him. Several attempts after, the right turn staying on earth is how you live the days you never asked for. I reflected one image in my heart, I could be better more than I wished for. I could be myself if I wanted to be. God always gives one what he needs to be given. What is suitable for him. But I regret under my feet with that line screaming from my head. I couldn't take it when Ron moved with Richardson, Sean couldn't take it when I moved with Finch. Maybe a red rose looks attractive between thousands of white rose, but one slice of apple doesn't fit into the gap of one slice of orange. One should have choosed its place correctly.
Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was right. I can't judge myself while being me. I don't know if rejection shows much impact. I still don't know if got rejected showed enough impact. Maybe I'm happy. Its a 'MAYBE' cause you don't know about future. I can't waste my time thiking about future. If I'm feeling laughing today I'd laugh so loud. I don't care if any danger either is coming behind its back. And if it comes, I'd clear it, I'd fight it, I'd smash it, I'd cross it ALONE. I don't know how it seemed all time possible for me to tackle one thing when it comes unexpectedly. I often do vary things when I got good mood. I sacre I always got that mood. I didn't tell anything to Finch earlier. I feared how he react. Maybe it's not a silly thing to react but I agreed I did late too. Which was lately okay from him. It was vogue how he behaved. There's much difference between you do and you should do. I got confused several time. I don't care too in those SEVERAL time. They are happy, I'm happy too. I got more time to be around with professional mates and managers. They need me. I'm becoming more serious like I was before. I got a silly excuse name- Mental Pressure. Yeah I need to correct myself before I can go out and turn around. I don't know what one should do when they didn't get back with what they need. Broken then months after alright. But trust me some thing still remain in heart hurting like it did months ago, years down it still hurts the same. I feel.it at the middle of my heart. Sometimes damaged me. Sometimes changed me. I don't mind, maybe I think so much. I don't mind moving with Finch when no one close supportive hands. Only new faces showed up for days and left now. I didn't mind still have him with me. I do love him more than he expected from me. He does love me. I don't care if the world go crash behind us or spin reversed I'd do what I'm doing right know. I don't have anyone to answer my questions for me or for them. I made a life where I'm living happily and I will be living happily, unchanged in every direction. I don't care if somebody knocked me down. I don't care if they DIE. I'm making my way only for me. I do have beliefs I'd be making it each time.
And that is a promise.
___________________