Shannon finally calmed down somewhat, but the doctors still couldn't say anything for sure. I sent her to the bathroom to do something to her face and went to find a vending machine. I needed coffee and I wasn't the only one. Fortunately, I had some change with me for it. I looked through the selection thoughtfully. I don't like plain, black coffee, but it might be good now. It would wake me up and bring me back to my senses. I also bought Shannon one because I was wondering what kind of face she would make when she tried it.
However, I almost bumped into someone as I turned around. I can't believe it! Damn it! But at least the coffees were saved.
Dark brown eyes with golden flecks stared at me. For a moment I couldn't do anything. The only good thing about the situation was that he seemed equally surprised. He didn't expect me. I would like to know why we always run into each other. Sometimes literally too. We sighed simultaneously and as he noticed, he smiled and my mouth twitched. No. I won't smile at him. No way!
„Hello." I said rather bluntly, his smile widened and the golden dots flashed in his eyes. Great! At least one of us is having fun. In my defense, I still haven't come to my senses. Anyway, why is he here?
„Shaelynn!" He said my name as if he was really happy to see and meet me. His voice was warm and he looked me over from head to toe. More thoroughly than I would have liked. „What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" He looked worried. Weird. Why would he care about me?
„I am fine." I got over my surprise. „But what are you doing here?" I throw back the question.
„Me?" He asked back. „I was helping with a case today and someone shot at us. No one was seriously injured but we all came to be checked out."
What I felt caught me by surprise. What is this? Fear? Worry? Because of him? I looked at him like I had never seen him before. Why is he different from other men? Why do I care what happens to him? Why do I feel this way when I think about his possible death? Just why?
„But... are you okay?" I need to know. My voice sounded strange even to my own ears. It was higher than usual. He seemed shocked for a moment then pleased that I cared. It bothered me.
„Everything is alright." He assured me. „The bullet just grazed my shoulder. It doesn't hurt. Just a bit." As a demonstration, he moved his right arm, but his face was distorted. Yeah, sure, it doesn't hurt. I didn't notice until now that he was only wearing a T-shirt despite the cold weather outside. His jacket probably got ruined then.
„Are you sure it is not serious?" I wanted to kick myself for asking that. It's one thing that I'm interested in how he's doing, but it's another thing that he knows it.
„I am sure." He smiled at me reassuringly and maybe a bit entertained. „But if we stand around here any longer your coffee will get cold." Of course, it didn't escape his attention.
„Okay." I murmured. „Then..." This situation is so awkward. It was like all of my intelligence had left me and I could only stare up at him. Say something! Come on. „Goodbye?" Yes. That was really, really clever. But what else can I say? Please, don't go? Sure! I don't even know why I want him to stay with me a little longer. He looks fine so I should let him go. But he didn't move, instead, he looked at me with a frown.
„I meant we should go." He looked troubled too. How can two 'adults' be so hapless? „I will accompany you. Where are you going?" He asked, studying me too closely. His attention made me feel embarrassed.
„There is no need for it." I objected.
I wanted him to stay but at the same time, I wanted him to go as well. My feelings were so messed up. I didn't want to wish for his presence. I wanted to feel like I never wanted to see him again. And of course, the damned wants to go to Disneyland.
I was about to reject his offer more firmly when he took my arm and led me to the elevator. He made me so shocked that I forgot to say no. The next moment the elevator door opened and I couldn't do anything but follow him. I felt powerless.
Hearing my voice Shannon who was sitting at the same place where I left her, looked up. Her eyes were empty and her face was expressionless. I handed the plastic cups to Rhys and hurried over to her. I crouched down in front of her.
„Did something happen?" I asked, afraid of the answer. Or rather it wasn't the answer that I feared, but the fact that it could be something that would cause her pain. But she just shook her head. „Then?" I didn't give up, but neither did she. She kept quiet so I looked deep into her eyes. It was no longer empty, raw fear burned in them—desperation, anger and indignation.
I took her hand and sat down next to her. She looked at me in surprise but squeezed my hand. She wanted me to say something encouraging. But consolation... It's not one of my strong points. What should I say? I don't want to lie or get her hopes up. Hope isn't always helpful, it can also be very destructive. I just don't want to hurt her in any way. But she tried to help me too. I suddenly remembered my tattoo.
„Believe in it!" I said softly, returning the squeeze. „Have faith that your father will be all right. He is a strong man, something like this cannot defeat him. It helps if you believe in it. That's what you said so do it. Your father will need your support, so you can't abandon yourself. Be strong for him and yourself. I know it's not easy but I am here for you." At the beginning of my speech my voice was uncertain but by the end, I was totally into it and I almost believed what I said. But it doesn't matter what I think, but what she thinks.
For a moment she didn't even blink, and then she straightened up and her gaze became determined.
„You're right! I am sorry."
„Why are you apologizing?" I was confused.
„That you had to rush here and listen to my whining." She murmured and I did something I usually rarely do. I touched her. Or rather I hit her, but not too strongly.
„Don't talk nonsense." I scolded her with a frown. „Of course, I come when you need me. No need to explain or anything. What are friends for? So that if there is a problem, we can rely on them and if we are lonely or just want company, then they will be there for us. When we need someone to stand by us, then we turn to them. If we need understanding they will understand and support us. And if we need a shoulder to cry on, they will be there. Or not? Am I wrong?" I wasn't sure but she seemed to understand. She looked thankful but said nothing. She turned her attention to Rhys and pierced him with her eyes. She studied him penetratingly, carefully, but Rhys didn't flinch. He met Shannon's gaze.
„You're investigating Seth's case, right?" She asked and he came closer to us.
„Yes, I do." He answered and gave one cup to Shannon and the other to me.
„Coffee." She grimaced looking at it. „How can anyone love it?"
„How can anyone not like it?" She meant it as a mere poetic question, but I had to answer. She rolled her eyes.
„Sooo!" She turned back to Rhys. „Have you found anything out yet?" To be honest I was curious too. Am I in danger or not? Should I be afraid?
„Unfortunately, we haven't found anything worthwhile yet." He replied, visibly amused by Shannon's behaviour. „We do everything in our power to catch the culprit." This conversation was like watching a bad detective movie and I think he was deliberately exaggerating.
„Then do more." She brought out her commanding tone and he smiled.
„I am afraid it's humanly impossible." Shannon looked at him curiously, waiting for an explanation. „To do more than we are capable of." He fulfilled my friend's silent request.
„I like this guy." She just said it, addressed to no one. It made Rhys seemingly happy but I became gloomy.
The thought of the two of them becoming a couple made me feel... unpleasant things. A dull stabbing pain shot through me like when the tip of the knife pierces the skin. Not unbearable but annoying, irritating like a mosquito bite. I tried to ignore it. Pain is bad so whatever the cause, it's bad too. I have to forget them. I have to forget him. As soon as possible. Immediately.
I took a sip of my coffee and didn't look at anyone. An uncomfortable silence surrounded us but I didn't feel like breaking it. They can solve it however they want. I was offended and didn't even know why. Aren't I great? Damn! There is no place for childishness now. I am an adult so I should act like one. It's a shame I have no idea how to be one in this situation. What can I say? Or do? Maybe 'I like him too.' Sure, of course! Exactly. Penguins will learn to fly sooner.
In the end, I finished my coffee without a word and went to the trash can to throw the cup away. And then back. Still, no one spoke and I started to feel awkward.
„Don't you have to go anywhere?" Desperate, I turned to Rhys. I sounded a little rude but my God, that's who I am. If you don't like it, just leave me alone.
„No, I am very free right now." He answered, his eyes laughing at me. It amused him. „I have nothing to do. Actually, I got a few days off to recover so I have plenty of time."
„Wonderful!" I muttered wryly.
Shannon began to question what had happened and was concerned about his injury. Fuming inside, I tried to ignore their voices. I was overwhelmed by the noise of the entire hospital, which I had not noticed until now and merged into a chaotic jumble. Everything passed me by without really understanding it. I stared at the floor and didn't even try to understand anything from it. I didn't care and somehow I enjoyed it. It was like I was floating in nothingness, even though I was surrounded by so many things.
The next thing I noticed was a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and met a pair of brown eyes.
„Yes?" I asked not paying attention.
„You're spacing out." He said and I nodded. I don't really know what to say to him. I glanced at Shannon. She looked tired and dejected like a warrior who had lost a battle but survived. She needs some sleep. But the chances of her going off her own accord are.... slim.
„Shannon." I addressed her. „You should go home and get some rest."
„No way!" She shook her head stubbornly but determinedly. I sighed.
„Shannon." It was Rhys's turn and his voice was devoid of any mirth. When do they get so close? Whatever, it's not important now. „Shaelynn is right. But that's not the only reason you should go home. Your father will need some stuff after he wakes up. A change of clothes, toothbrush, toiletries, and so on. You have to get it together for him."
His voice was confident, but in fact his whole demeanour, his being was as if he could influence the course of events with his will. She remained silent for a while, thinking about it then nodded and stood up.
„Okay, but I won't be home for long." She assured us and left, or was about to leave but Rhys grabbed her arm and stopped her. She looked up at him curiously.
„I will take you home." He said. „It's late so it's better to be safe." I couldn't take my eyes off the point where they touched each other. I would have liked to step between them. But that would be stupid and I am not a fool—most of the time.
I thought Shannon would refuse him because of her fear of vehicles but she nodded in acceptance. For his father, she was able to push her limits and ignore her phobia. I guess that's what we call love.
Shannon said goodbye, Rhys just nodded, and then supporting my friend he left me. I was grateful and angry at the same time. I was thankful that he had helped her, but I was angry because he had left me behind so easily. This anger is based on selfishness. I have to fight it. Shannon is much more important than my unreasonable jealousy. I have no reason to feel this way. I cannot claim him as mine in any form. And I don't want him to want anything from me. And yet... It's all incomprehensible!
I pulled myself together, walked to my car and drove home. I need sleep; maybe I'll make more sense with a clear head. Or not. But I can hope.