With Marcus' sudden disappearance and everyone who knew Marcus suddenly shutting me out, I felt more like a ghost, who was loosing its attachment to the world, with each passing hour. Refusing to believe Marcus would actually leave me without a word, I continued bombarding everyone I felt was hiding Marcus from me with calls and texts. At this point, I knew I deserved a restraining order filed against me but still I continued with the calls, texts and dropping messages. Since I was closer to Robert, I visited the apartment constantly in hopes that I just might run into Marcus; I never did and I never stopped going.
Twenty four hours passed by rather slowly, with still no response or clue as to the whereabouts of Marcus. Robert's nonchalant response to everything, coupled with the lazy response from Marcus' family when I informed them, was what even convinced me that there was actually more going on behind the picture that I had absolutely no idea about.
"Why?" The only word I could consistently hear myself say and as I struggled to get by, my mum brought pictures of the wedding dresses for me to pick from. She not seeming bothered about the man she was about to give her daughter to in marriage was even more infuriating.
I could expect everything else happening but never in a million years did I imagine my mum suddenly displaying hatred towards her most precious son in law, Marcus. Now, all she was concerned about was Damien. The same man who didn't give a sh*t about her or cared enough to show some iota of respect to his future mother Inlaw. The same man whose existence was unknown to her till just a couple of weeks ago. She chose that over a man she has known for over three years.
It was so hurtful that I started hating myself for being so safe and not actually getting pregnant with Marcus' baby. If I did, there wouldn't even be a conversation about marriage. But then again, I didn't even have the time to have such things on my mind as I was still very much bothered about Marcus' annoying game of hide and seek.
Thoughts that they had all ganged up to hide Marcus pending my marriage suddenly flooded my mind and although I could accept that, I just couldn't accept the fact that he'd leave without a word and without any clues for me to use in finding him. I just couldn't accept the fact that he'd leave right after promising me we'd work through everything together.
As sad and quiet as I got, my parents expressed their deep and complete indifference towards anything related to Marcus. They did hear about his disappearance, and that was, of course, from me and my emotional breakdown, but didn't seem to care much as they just took it as the universe's way of removing their greatest obstacle from the path to their financial settlement. It sucks to still want him around despite these clear rejection from people he once considered as family; I guess I'm just a really greedy and selfish person to want to eat my cake and also have it.
The wedding preparation were, however, blooming with rapid speed, with my parents more excited about it than even the Smiths. They (my parents) hadn't spent a dime in any of the preparations, from the hall, food, dresses, music, to even the proposed honey moon trip. Each and everything was sponsored and paid for by the Smiths. All we were expected to do was to present a list of required items for the success of the ceremony and have it approved immediately.
Still on my search for Marcus, my wedding dress arrived and I was forced into fitting it. Just maybe I would have been a little bit excited had Marcus been here to support me, but with his absence, I suddenly didn't feel the motivation to do anything.
On the night to my wedding day, now officially thirty six hours since I knew about his (Marcus') disappearance, I decided to go back to his apartment to give it one last try. Maybe, just maybe, Robert might finally have pity on me and disclose even the tiniest bit of information about Marcus, even if it was just a picture or text showing he was alright and well.
Even if Marcus had no intention of seeing or meeting me because of this marriage, he should at least let me know he is not somewhere getting drunk and making bad decisions. I deserve that at least, right?
After the millionth knock on the door, Robert finally opens with a clear, easily understood frown plastered on his face.
"Shouldn't you be somewhere getting dolled up for tomorrow?" He said coldly.
"Rob, please. Help me."
"With what exactly?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest, probably waiting for my response and at the same time, too impatient for one as he quickly added, "In not less than two days, you've come here countless number of times, blown my phone battery with your calls and texts multiple number of times and in all these times, my response to you still hasn't changed. Doesn't that say something?"
"I know you know something, so please-"
"And why are you so convinced I know something?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Because you're his best friend and-"
"You are his fiancée. The one still wearing his f*cking ring." It took Robert mentioning it for me to actually notice I hadn't even taken off the engagement ring from my finger.
Why was I getting married to a man other than Marcus?
Do I really need money that bad?
Am I really the last hope for my parents paying off their debts?
Was I the only child?
I wasn't but I-
"Just go home, Sophia. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow." He said softly, making it the softest he had spoken to me in more than two days, before closing the door gently in my face, as though him being gentle would make the gesture more polite.
The walk back home was exhausting and I was completely disoriented as I spent a good amount of the time sitting on the floor and just crying. The pedestrians must have thought of me as crazy but I didn't even notice any of them, and neither did I care.
And as though the universe wanted to express its profound displeasure over my decision and anger over my hurting a soul as pure as Marcus', a heavy downpour suddenly started without any warnings. As others ran to safety from the rain, my feet continued carrying my body slowly towards my destination; my family's home. It felt as though my pains and sins were being washed out of my skin and onto the ground, but although that felt great, my heart was in its own turmoil and breaking in ways I could not even understand.
Tears mixed with raindrops fell from my cheeks and as I tried yelling out my frustration, Mother Nature decided to yell alongside with me, echoing even louder than I ever could.
I felt heard.
I felt understood.
I felt not alone.
At least she knows how badly I'm hurting over all of this.
As I continued dragging my feet absentmindedly, I muttered a prayer to whoever listened, "please let me see him one last time before the wedding. Please."