I got up the next morning and watched the intense red and orange hues of the sunrise in the sky. It's so beautiful ad relaxing to watch. I rushed and prepared myself for today. It's already summer and I want to enjoy this holiday. Also, I need to be ready to face Michael today. I'm still as excited as always, so I think I don't need to worry. I guess nothing has changed for me after all. How about him? After the reaction I gave him yesterday, would he even meet me today?
While preparing my breakfast, someone knocked on my door. Who would possibly drop by this early morning? I don't remember inviting any acquaintances this summer. I don't want to be bothered, at least not today. I still have a lot of thinking to do, so I pretended not to hear the knock. I hope that person will just assume that I am asleep or that no one's home. However, the knocking did not stop, and hearing the noise is already irritating me. How could I concentrate with all that loudness? I couldn't even enjoy the morning any longer. So I walked to the door, planning to open and shut it off, but I forgot to use the peephole to see who it is.
"Michael!" I was shocked. "What the hell are you doing here so early in the morning?"
I looked at him. Nothing's changed. I suppose he decided for us to be just friends instead. Or did he realize that he doesn't love me after all in a romantic way? Is this the end of a relationship that hasn't even begun?
"Good morning, RM. I got us some breakfast."
My mind is clouded. As an overthinker, I couldn't help thinking about what is happening and is going to happen. He's already here right in front of me greeting me with that killer smile. Oh, how I love looking at him when he does that. He has this superficial charm that makes every girl fall. Fall? What am I thinking again? Am I falling for him?
"Are you alright, RM?"
It's like I am dreaming again. I acted like I can't hear any of the words he is saying. What is going on with me?
"Okay, I guess you don't want me here. I'm sorry to bother you, RM. I'll go ahead."
"Wait!" At last, I said something. "I'm sorry, I just woke up, and my mind is still somewhere. Come in."
What am I doing? Michael normally comes here during breakfast, and I am acting like it is his first time visiting me this early morning. Perhaps everything is not how it usually goes anymore. This is strange. Something had changed. For me... but not for him. I do not even know what to tell him. I do the talking most of the time when we are together, but my tongue seems to not cooperate today. Am I going to open a conversation about yesterday? What if he tells me to pretend that he didn't say a word about it?
"RM?"
He's saying my name again. The feeling is still the same when I hear him utter my name. It's just that my heart beats faster today.
"Hello? Earth to RM. You are in the middle of somewhere else again." He said.
"I don't know, Michael. I was just thinking about..."
"About yesterday?"
I gulped.
"Yes, sort of."
"What about?" He asked.
"If it's true." I wanted to curse myself for saying that.
"Are you thinking that it's just a joke?"
"No. Not really."
"Then what it is then?"
"Stop asking, Michael. I'm still confused."
"Confused of what? Look, RM. I know it is hard for you to believe and I understand. I'm not asking for an answer. My goal is to let you know how I feel to lighten the load that I'm keeping inside me. I am not even asking you to love me back. All I want is for you to stay. We have been the best of friends for months and I don't want to ruin that. I just did not expect that I will feel this way, and I can't help it. I liked you since the day that I met you, but as time passed by, I saw everything in you that you thought everybody else can't see. I love you, RM. So much."
"I love you, too." I whispered, and I hope he did not hear it.
"What?" He heard.
"Nothing."
"Say it again."
"You heard what you heard, Michael. I'm not saying it again."
"You said you love me too."
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Don't even dare to ask me one more time." Oh gosh! Did I just say I love him too? What's the matter with me? Am I just carried away? Did I really love him from the start? I'm still baffled, but I managed to tell him that I love him. The truth is, I am not even sure what I am talking about. My fear is haunting me again. Am I going to take it back? Don't be ridiculous, RM.
He hugged me with excitement, and I hugged him too. That is when I realized that I don't care anymore, as long as I am happy now. I'm not being selfish, am I? I'm ecstatic and I just pray that this happiness will never end. I hope Michael is the one meant to be with me forever. I don't want to get hurt again, but I'm positive that it's not going to happen as long as I am with him.
He hugged me tighter and whispered, "Thank you, RM. This will be one of the happiest days of my life."
"Me, too," I responded.
I sighed. It felt like there is a huge load removed from my heart. I don't feel heavy with all that overthinking that occurred earlier.
"I promise to make you the luckiest girl ever. I will do my best as your boyfriend." He held my hand and kissed it.