That night I tossed and turned ,couldn't get any sleep .This was going to be my chance to prove to my deadbeat dad they I can be something successful .My father's words got me determined all over again that by hook or by crook I was going to join that group and take it all the way to the top . He always said "Lorna you will not amount to anything if you continue this way!" well proving him wrong was my motivation.
Woke up next morning with a plan to achieve my goals .I had the perfect plan, charm Lewis into falling for me, and falling hard. If the leader is deep in love with me no one, and I mean no one could stop me from joining, or that is what I thought! Got out of bed with the biggest smile ever.
The day went by slowly, I had to leave through every minute of it. Finally the afternoon came and as soon as Aunt Phindy came through the door, I ran up to her. Got her bags for and made her some tea. When I came from the kitchen into the Lounge," What do you want?" She said, with that curious look on her face. She knew me too well. "I need you to make me look awesome tonight .I am going on a date!" I looked away, because I did not want to see her expression.
When I looked in that mirror I couldn't recognize myself. My Aunt did an outstanding job, I was gorgeous. Had my hair all curled up, a tight T-shirt that showed assets I never knew I had, and the shortest shorts she had on her wardrobe. I was a better looking version of my Aunt .The doorbell rang, and I knew it was show time...
We got into his car and drove off. He played some soulful music, must say he had great taste. "So what are we doing for the whole night ", I said that looking straight in his eyes while he was driving. I kept on blinking like those dolls I had when I was young, my aunt said it was seductive. He just flashed his smile, "we can enjoy the fresh breeze and chill at the park ".
Lot of thoughts went through my mind "a park that was not part of the plan!" But I simply told myself to play it cool and go with the flow .We got to the park he, opened my door offered me a sit on the bonnet of his car. He came out with a picnic basket, with some wine inside .He thought he was sleek, but I was already on to him.
We had a great conversation, until he threw the basket to the floor and came close to me. I just kept on smiling. "You beautiful and sexy." he said that while he got off the car and stood in front of me. He had lazy eyes, which were staring right into mine. He placed his hands on my waist and came close, his lips were about to meet mine. I stopped him " what you doing ? " ,I asked him removing his hands from me .
" I want you ,now " he said coming close, he placed his lips on my neck ,parted my legs .He came closer again ,and I could feel a bulge from his pants, I was not ready ! I was going to give my womanhood to someone I loved. As every other teenage girl I wanted it to be special not rushed. It just hit me that, I was the one that began all this. I never loved Lewis, I was using him, and I was putting a stop to it then and there.
"Lewis, stop!" I pushed him away and got off the car. He was puzzled." What's wrong?" he asked me while fixing himself up. I had to come clean, or I was going to hate myself for this." Look you a great guy but ... I don't like you like that .This is one thing I'm not ready for ." .He was stunned ," Are you serious right now ?...you going to go out with me looking like a hooker ,than tell me you not ready ? You don't like me? "He said that looking at me with those disgusted eyes. He picked up his basket, shoved it into to the car and got in the driver's seat. "So you just go to leave me here?" I asked him walking towards the car. He just looked at me, shook his head, started the car and drove off." Like seriously!" He left me there choking because of the fumes secreted by his car. He was acting so childish.
As I started walking home, I kept on hoping I would see the headlights of Lewis's car. I touched myself to check for my phone. "Damn it, that fool left with my phone "I said that taking off the heels I was wearing. When I got by the street light I checked the time it was almost ten and the road was empty. It was chilly and I was a little afraid. And to make things worse my Aunt's place was two blocks away from the park.
When I was halfway, I noticed there were two figures behind me, whom appeared from nowhere. I could hear their footsteps that they were getting nearer and nearer .I picked up my pace because I was afraid they were following me. When I walked faster I turned around and noticed they also walked faster .They were talking loudly, I couldn't make out what they were saying because I was more focused on getting away from them. I realized walking fast was a waste of time so I just sprinted, praying that at least a car comes this way.
I was running and looking over my shoulder every second to observe if they were catching up on me .I did not see this coming I went straight into the arms of this man." Gotcha honey, why are you running away ... we just want to talk! "He said that right in front of my face his breath stinked. He had his hands tightly wrapped around me .I kept on pushing him away, trying to get free from him." Let me go! Please let me go "my voice was all cracked because I was trying so hard to hold my tears in. When I turned my head, the two guys were behind me. My heart was pounding fast and I was all out of power, struggling to fight this guy to let me go.
When they all formed a circle around me, and I had nowhere to run, I was trapped, and I already knew what was next. Tears went down my cold cheeks .I tried to push them aside and get through it was a lost cause because they were strong and just pushed me to the ground. Seems the Lord was not listening to my prayers that night because not even one car came through. "Why you crying baby girl, we just trying to show you a good time you shall never forget " said this guy who had dreads on his head. Saying those words it as if he triggered his friends to pick me up.
"HELP! HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE!" I screamed while struggling to be set free. It as if they were possessed, they ignored my cry. They dragged me to the bushes kicking and screaming. I kept on calling for help but no one answered .They pinned me to the ground one holding down my hands whilst the other held my feet. " Please stop ... Please don't ... I beg of you ... please ." my cry fell onto deaf ears ,because he went on to unzip his pants .Ripped of my clothes like an animal ,and others were laughing like hyenas awaiting for their turn to devour me .
He got on top of me, I was powerless couldn't fight him off; I just laid there on that grass. I had no fighting power left in me. Every penetration came with loads of pain emotionally and physically .He pounded me nonstop .I could hear his groans of pleasure, whilst I died a slow death inside. I lost my voice couldn't shout for help or beg them anymore .I just laid on my back and they took turns on me. I remember praying that God take my life because, they had already destroyed me.
After hours of pounding the life out of me they decided they had enough .Got dressed while everything in me was painful and my tears had already dried .I was numb from my waist downwards, I couldn't feel nothing but a whole lot of heat. I laid there cold, hurt and broken .Once they were dressed they gloated about how they showed me what it was to be a woman. They beat me up, kicked me, while others threw punches .I couldn't cry anymore just groans to show them I was feeling the pain .They ran away laughing and giggling, proud of their handy work. I was facing the sky and my eyes slowly shut as I stared into space, asking God " Why me? ".