Astrid turned silent and stared out over the land, and Vevina wondered over her thoughts. Astrid barely spoke with her. This outing had surprised her, even the few words she'd spoken to her were unexpected. Before it seemed she had meant to ignore her and keep her distance, and recalling as much, she told herself that Astrid's behavior now must reflect merely gratitude, nothing more.
A strong chilled wind whipped around them and she shivered, hugging the wool cloak to her, while Astrid stood unperturbed and in only her plaid, her shirt and her sandals.
"You are cold," Astrid said, and hugged Vevina against her, snuggling her wife in the crook of her shoulder so she rested alongside the length of her body. Astrid's heat instantly assaulted her, slipping beneath her blue blouse and brown skirt until it settled into her flesh, and she almost sighed with the pleasure of it. It ran along every inch and depth of her, setting her skin to tingle and spark and ignite a heat of her own.
Thunder rumbled overhead, but she paid it no heed, simply settled her face to Astrid's soft chest and drank in the scent of her. Vevina didn't know what it was about the smell of Astrid, earth and pine and ale, that attracted her, she only knew that she relished Astrid's distinct aroma.
Vevina rubbed her cheek against Astrid's shirt and inhaled. Abruptly, she was jerked away from her and held at arm's length while Astrid's golden eyes glared deeply into hers. She had no idea what she might have done to upset her wife, but Astrid was clearly upset. Her jaw jutted out, her lips locked tight, and her eyes were unforgiving.
"I'm sorry," Vevina said quickly, hoping to correct whatever mistake she had made.
"For what?" she asked in a growl-like rumble that frightened her.
She stuttered, not knowing how to answer, for she could make no sense of Astrid's sudden anger. Her hesitation seemed further agitate her. "Can you not speak up for yourself?"
Vevina closed her eyes for a moment, envisioned the kindness she had seen in the woman's eyes and held the vision firm, for she could speak easily to that person. After a moment, she opened again. "I did not know I needed to defend myself. I had simply felt safe in your arms."
Astrid's expression softened for such a brief moment that Vevina wondered if it was her imagination.
Astrid shoved her away from her, "Don't!"
Vevina spewed a frustrated grunt and ran anxious fingers through her hair. "Don't feel safe with me," Astrid explained.
Vevina shook her head. "But you are my wife."
Astrid lunged at her and she hurriedly backed away, though not quick enough, for she grabbed her by the shoulders and yanked Vevina to her. "I warned you once many years ago to watch where you stepped, and still you have not learned."
Vevina turned her head and saw that she would have fallen off the battlement to certain death had Astrid not saved her, though in her defense, she whispered.
"You charged at me!"
"There is no excuse for not watching where you step."
Astrid was right. Vevina had foolishly thought herself safe with her, and simply because for a single moment Vevina thought she'd seen kindness in her. She thought she had trust Astrid. In truth, she could only trust herself. She had been alone in this world since her mother's death and had to accept it and continue to protect herself, as she'd been doing for so very long now.
With a breath of strength that rose up from deep inside her, she said, "This time, I will remember what you said. May I be dismissed, Astrid?"
"No," Astrid snapped. "I brought you here so you could escape the confines of the keep and your duties. I will leave and you will stay."
She licked her lips, her mouth having gone dry, as it always did when she attempted to defend herself.
"What if I...."
"Stop!"
Vevina's eyes widened at her stern command. What had she done now?
"Don't lick your lips."
She offered explanation. "They are dry."
Astrid offered her own. "You invite when you do that."
"Invite what?"
"A kiss."
Vevina gasped. "I never meant..."
"Your innocence invited." Astrid released her and stepped away.
Vevina thought to turn and run, but she had a duty to this woman and her vows, and her vows had yet to be sealed. Whether she favored the thought or not, their marriage had to be consummated.
She gathered the courage again to say it and hopefully invite Astrid's response. "You are my wife."
"A wife who doesn't want you," Astrid yelled, her words magnified by the howling wind that suddenly surrounded them.
Her words struck like a finely aimed arrow, and they hurt deeply. She understood this marriage was forced upon them both, but what was done was done, and neither of them could change that. They could only make the most of the situation. Obviously, Astrid did not feel the same way.
Vevina did not know what to do, and feared her stepfather's response if he should learn of this. She wanted to run and hide, but where? She had no place to go. No real home. No one who truly wanted her, loved her.
Vevina caught the sight of the moors, which stretched out endlessly beyond the keep, and the small patch of trees where she and her mother would forage for plants and laugh together. Her mother's unconditional love stabbed at her heart, and she didn't pause to think, not even when the first raindrop struck her cheek. She turned and ran from Astrid, down the stairs, ignoring her shouted command for her to stop, ignoring the curious eyes of all she passed as she bolted out of the keep and headed along the moors to to what seemed to her a small spot of love and peace.
Astrid pursued her while spewing a string of oaths that kept everyone out of her way. She knew her rage made her appear insane and unstable and that tongues would certainly wag about the way she chased after her wife like a manwoman, or more appropriately like a hunter chasing a deer, but she could not help herself.
Vevina was faster than she had expected. She flew across the moors like a winged maiden. Her cloak flared out, her long dark hair blew wildly in the wind, and the rain did not hinder her rapid pace.
Astrid saw where she was headed, the small cropping of woods that many would not enter, fearing tales of fairies and gnomes that were none too inviting. Her wife was either foolish or courageous, but then didn't it take a fool to be courageous in the first place?
Astrid halted abruptly upon entering the woods. The place was dense with trees, bushes, and boulders, perfect hiding places for the wee people., and it was the heavy clouds and dense foliage in the woods that made it appear to be dusk. Rain trickled in a gentle rhythm over the leaves and rocks.
"Vevina!" she called, and her voice returned to her in a eerie echo.
There was no thought to leaving her there on her own to fend for herself against the creatures who inhabited the place. She was her wife, and it was her duty to protect her. Besides, it had been her callous words that caused her to flee.
She had not meant to hurt her. She merely wanted her to keep her distance from Astrid, for her desire for her was growing stronger by the day. Astrid could just take her and be done with it, but then, each time she looked into her eyes, she saw her innocence, her need for a loving partner, not an angry woman who needed to assuage her own animalistic need.
Astrid didn't want to leave her with scars, as had been done to her. She was her wife, and deserved more, whether she could ever give her that, she wasn't sure. It was too early to tell.
Astrid made her way carefully past trees gnarled with age, branches that bowed in the wind to her, and whispered that had to e the wind whistling through the trees. Or was it a voice traveling upon the wind?
She decided to follow the voice and see where it led, and she wasn't surprised when it took her straight to her wife. She sat on a smooth rock as if talking with someone, and she paused in the shadow to see if she could catch sight of anyone or anything. When Astrid saw no one about, she listened to what she was saying.
"I don't know what to do with her. She is my wife and I have a duty, but she does not like me. I think sometimes she hates me."
Her words pierced Astrid's chest like a sharp sword. She could never hate Vevina. She was too good, too honorable, and pure.
Vevina sighed. "She thinks me..."
She stopped and abruptly stood, looking frantically around her. It seemed that she had somehow sensed Astrid, or had something alerted her? Astrid wished that she had finished what she was saying, wanting to know what she thought Astrid thought of her.
"Watch where you step," she called out."
"Why?" Astrid asked, taking cautious steps.
Vevina turned toward the sound of her voice. "The vines can trap your feet."
Astrid heeded her warning and proceeded carefully, eventually entering the secluded clearing where she stood. Astrid didn't want her to know she'd been listening, and so, though curious, didn't ask who she had been speaking with.
"These woods are not safe," Astrid said.
Vevina looked affronted. "These woods are safer than anyplace I know."
Her words slapped Astrid hard. On the battlements she'd told Astrid that she felt safe in her arms, and now she let her know it was here she felt the safest. But then, why should Astrid expect otherwise after what she'd said to her? And why did the words disturb her?
Astrid stepped closer to Vevina and was caught by the beauty of her violet eyes. But it wasn't only beauty that shined in them. There was also a loving peaceful tenderness she longed to taste. "You should not have run away from me and made me give chase."
"You need not have chased me."
Astrid reached up to brush a strand of hair away from her mouth and her thumb brushed her lips. "I must see you safe. You are my wife."
She ran her thumb across her moist full lips over and over until she felt her core grow hot and ache. Then a growl rumbled deep inside her and surfaced slowly until it burst forth and she grabbed Vevina around the waist and yanked her hard against her chest to claim a kiss.