The first taste of her told Astrid she was in trouble and to stop, to go no further, to end it now, while she was still capable of sound reason. She ignored the silent warnings. How couldn't she? Vevina did not deny her, she responded with innocence and gentleness, which only served to excite Astrid even more.
She silently warned herself not to draw her closer, not to let their bodies touch, just enjoy the kiss, the pure taste of Vevina. How the woman wound up in her arms, flush against her, she wasn't certain, nor did Astrid care. Her only thought was their lingering kiss and not the rush of passion to her core, though she did acknowledge the strange feeling of utter contentment that snuck over her and laid claim.
Her slim tongue mated more easily with hers as Vevina relaxed in her Astrid's arms, and her own pace slowed until their kiss turned to savoring each other, like fine food or wine one wished the palate to appreciate.
It took a forceful rush of wind to nearly rip them apart. Astrid wrapped her arms firmly around her wife as she buried her face in her chest and her long dark hair wiped at her face. Astrid felt her shiver and wondered over it cause, the wind or her kiss?
When the wind died down, Vevina glanced up at her, and Astrid saw desire in her lovely eyes. She could take her here and now on the hard, cold ground, just as she'd seen the barbarians do to their women without thought or caring, just plain lust, plain joy.
Astrid took the vivid images from her head and silently cursed herself. She had yet to shed the filth that had imprinted on her mind. Astrid gently set Vevina away from her. "We must return to the keep before the weather worsens."
Vevina stood speechless, staring at her.
She was obviously trying to make sense of their recent exchange, and while Astrid could offer an explanation and set her mind at ease, she found herself unable or perhaps unwilling to confide in her. How could she expect Vevina, an innocent, to understand her fear, when she herself was struggling to understand it?
"I am your wife," Vevina said, as if the reminder might help Astrid.
"You need not remind me, woman." Astrid didn't mean to sound caustic, though perhaps it was best for them both. She would keep her distance, and Astrid would need to keep hers until she felt ready, certain that she could be a good wife to Vevina.
She held out her hand. "Let us return."
"I need no help," Vevina said, and made her way past her.
"But I do," Astrid whispered with a sigh and followed.
~*~
Vevina fell into an easy routine, taking breakfast early and alone before anyone in the keep woke for the day. Weather permitting, she would then walk the moor or retire to the sewing chamber and tend to her stitching.
It had been a couple of weeks since her wife kissed her, and the kiss had lingered long in her memory. Surprisingly, she'd enjoyed yet gentle with her, and she felt unfamiliar stirrings she wished to explore.
Her wife, however, had not kissed her again since that day, purposely avoided her, and worst of all, continued to sleep on the hard floor in front of the fireplace, saved for the thin wool cover. She didn't know what to do or even who to speak with about it. She had thought to confide in Elaine, but then, she was Astrid's mother and would advise patience as she had before.
Vevina wished her mother were alive. She would have then discussed the matter with her, and her mother would have suggested and advised her, and offered her comfort. But there was no one to offer her comfort, she was alone.
"I have come to seek the company of my sister in law."
Vevina jumped at the sound of Arthur's voice and turned to see him close the sewing room door behind him. She greeted him with a weary smile as he sat in the chair to her right and stretched his long legs out in front of him.
Arthur was a finely handsome man, like most of the Sinclaremen, but possessed considerable charm that made him appear all the more handsome, much like his twin sister in a way. Vevina often thought it was the twinkle in his eyes and the polite gentle smile he constantly wore that made him so appealing to women.
"Is my sister a good wife?"
His direct and unexpected query startled her.
Arthur smiled. "You two don't spend much time together, and soon tongues will begin to wag, and you know what happens when gossip gets started."
She did; truth somehow got distorted when gossip reigned. She chose her words carefully for she did not feel comfortable discussing her wife with her brother. "Astrid is busy with plans to find Rohan."
"You mean her obsession to find Rohan."
Vevina was quick to defend her wife. "She knows what your brother suffers far better than you. How can you not expect her to be obsessed with finding Rohan?"
Arthur nodded. "True enough. I sought you out in hopes of gaining some insight to my own sister. She is not who she once was. Astrid often laughed and joked and trusted me and herself, and would talk often with our father. She now seeks solitude, as do you, and I wish to understand why."
Vevina knew he was truly concerned, his smile had faded away. But she was at a loss as to how to help, especially since she wished to understand it herself.
She shrugged and spoke the truth. "I don't know."
"That's what I thought. Astrid ignores you as much as she does us." He shook his head. "And she angers so easily. That was something Astrid never did. She always remained calm and in control, even when others shouted and threatened. Now anger possesses her and she snaps and shouts most of the time."
"She has suffered..."
"All warriors suffer one time or another," Arthur said as if affronted. "Astrid knows this when she decided to become a warrior too although it wasn't common for women. Our clan is different than others. We don't limit them for doing what they want. That is why we are stronger than most. Still, Astrid is different."
"I know nothing of being a warrior."
"I beg to differ."
Vevina looked at Arthur as if he were crazy.
"I am no warrior."
He smiled. "I have watched the way your stepfather speaks to you and treats you. You have to be a warrior to deal with that man, and if my sister wasn't wallowing so much in her own self-pity and loss, she'd see it herself and know what a gem of a wife she has gotten by rights alone."
Vevina was speechless.
Arthur stood and walked closer to her. "You're a good woman, Vevina, any man would be proud to have you as a wife. Hopefully someday my foolish sister will realize it." Then he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm proud to call you my sister though...for now."
Then Arthur left without another word, and Vevina sat there, stunned.