Now I'm in another room, sitting at the table, while staring at this person.
"I didn't cancelled my meeting scheduled for this hour only to came here and play staring contest with you! Speak" he authoritatively demanded as he look at his wristwatch boredly. The dominant aura radiating through him makes my nervousness intensifies.
"S-Sorry. Sorry for bothering you. You're right and I need help, but don't worry I'll repay you the favor"
"How will you do that?"
"I-I don't know. Maybe work better in your company? I will come up with an idea soon of how could I—"
"That is not how deal is done Miss Lovail. For this matter since your the one who's asking for help, I get to decide"
"W-Whatever you say" mapagpakumbabang sabi ko kahit kabaliktaran non ang nararamdaman ko. Kung hindi ko lang kailangan, hindi ko siya lalapitan.
"Your stubbornness pissing me off and it gives me more reason to not come for your aid. Plus, your misery gives me joy. How about I'll just let you rot in here and watch you suffer?"
"I'm not forcing you tho. But you're my only hope, so if you please, I'll try my best to make it up to you next time"
"If you really wanted my help so bad, sure, I'll take responsibility of you"
"Thank you—" hearing what he said light me up but he cut me off by saying, "However, there are conditions you have to consider"
"What conditions?"
Ngiti lang ang ibinigay niya at hindi ako sinagot kaya nakaramdam ako ng inis dahil palagi siyang pabitin.
"J-Just spill it out"
Wala man akong karapatang magreklamo ngayon dahil kailangan ko siya pero di ko talaga maiwasang di mairita.
He let out a laugh while looking at me straight. "Sa mundo ko lahat ng bagay may kapalit Miss Lovail. Hindi ako tumatanggap ng thank you lang galing sa kahit sino. And I don't just say welcome for any reason"
"Puwede bang deretsahin mo na lang ako?! Kung ano ano pa ang sinasabi mo. Isang tanong, isang sagot. Nakakaumay mga intro mo"
Nabigla ako sa sinambit ko kaya ibinaba kong muli ang paningin ko para hindi makita ang malamang ay galit niyang mga mata ngayon. Sa isiping may maitim na balak siya ay kaba ang pumalit sa inis na nararamdaman ko dahilan ng paglakas ng pintig ng puso ko.
Nang hindi siya nagsalita ay napatingin akong muli sa kaniya na ngayon ay blangko ang mukha. I watched him suddenly stood up and walked over to me. Dahil kami lang dalawa ang nandito sa kuwarto ay libreng libre siyang gawin kung ano ang magustuhan niya kaya natakot ako.
Napatayo na rin ako at inihahanda ang sarili sa sakit na matatamo ko mula sa kaniya. Puwedeng sapakin niya na lang ako bigla, tadyakan, saksakin, o barilin dahil wala rin naman akong palag dahil ako ang may kailangan.
Napalayo ako sa lamesa at umatras ng kaunti. Huminto naman siya sa likuran ko at biglang hinawakan ang buhok ko. "You're the only one who got the courage to speak to me that way and yet survived to see another day." he whispered in my left ear and yank my hair pulling me closer to him. "Sa oras na tuluyang mapasakin ka, sisiguruhin kong pagsisisihan mo ang pagiging bastos mo sa'kin"
"Bear in your mind that you're the one who's asking for my help, you're being ungrateful right now and it makes me wanna change my mind"
"S-Sorry" naisambit ko na lang dahil ang kapangyarihang mayroon siya ang tanging naiisip kong tulay para makaalis rito.
"Are you truly sorry?" He asked and I nodded.
"Are you truly truly sorry??" he repeated, not contented with my gesture so I answered.
"Yes, I'm sorry"
"Prove it" he says and took a step back distancing himself from me.
"I'll listen" sabi ko at humarap sa kaniyang nagmumukhang desperada sa sitwasyong 'to.
He smiles, and I know he's reading my mind through my eyes. "I'll have my lawyers work extremely diligently on your case while my men take care of your mess. It will be handled and solved so you never have to worry about it."
"What's my assurance that you're gonna do that??"
"You're doubts are insulting!"
"I just wanna know"
"You need to agree upon my conditions first, and I'll have you out of here in an instant. But the other conditions are not for you to find out for now."
"Paano ako sasang-ayon sa mga kondisyon mo kung hindi ko malalaman muna kung kasang-a-sang-ayon ba 'yon??"
"That is the twist of this deal" he says while returning to his seat.
"Now, sit" he demanded at umupo naman ako katapat pa rin niya. Di ko maintindihan ang takbo ng utak niya. Magalit man ako pero mas malala pag siya ang nagagalit.
"Plead me Saddain, I want to hear it from you"
Napatitig ako sa kaniya upang tiyakin kung jinojoke time niya lang ako pero dahil seryoso siya ay ibinaba ko ng isang baitang ang sarili ko.
"H-Help me"
"It's not convincing"
"Y-You are powerful enough to h-help me win this case and you're my on-ly chance. S-So please?"
Why am I stuttering??
"Come on, you can do better than that" he says mockingly.
Napabuntong hininga ako at inayos ang pagkakaupo ko saka tinitigan siya sa mata. "Can you take me out of here w-with you? Help me... Darc please??"
"Dang, you're sexy when you beg" he grinned while looking down at me. I swallowed hard because of that and my throat felt like it was drying up. Watching him bite the inside of his cheek shivers me out.
"I'm still not satisfied. Do you know what can satisfy me more?"
"No, I don't"
"Do you wanna know?"
Bigla akong napatanong sa sarili ko. Do I have to know? Pero kung sasakyan ko ang trip niya, siguro naman hindi na magbabago ang isip niya at tutulungan ako.
"Y-Yes"
'That's right. I'm not letting him overpowers me, instead I'm using him' I said in my mind, gaslighting myself.
"Submit yourself to me" he leaned his back against the chair still not taking off his eyes on me.
Nabigla ako sa sinabi niyang 'yon. Submitting myself to him means I'm letting him to has the control over me. And that is a big NO!
Me? Saddain? Will submit to a d*ck like him?! For f*cks sake that won't happen. Magpataasan na lang kami ng yabang at ego. Pero hindi ko ibababa ng todo ang sarili ko!
"Submit yourself to me whole heartedly. You will do as I say willingly. And I'll decide for your life but I'll let you do what you want if you're gonna be a good girl to me"
"What you want is a tough deal!" reklamo ko.
"Submitting yourself and being a pet isn't that hard if you're gonna be obedient to your Master. I can reward you if you pleases me and maybe give you want you want as long as you're being loyal to me"
Napamaang na lang ako sa kaniya at di ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko.
"What's the opposite of reward?"
Hindi ko siya sinagot dahil ang dating ng tanong niya sa akin ay pang elementary.
"What's the opposite of reward?!"
"Punishment" mabilis na sagot ko dahil bigla siyang nagalit.
"See, if right now you're having trouble answering a simple question, what if I ask you to do something even more difficult? I hate repeating myself Miss Lovail and that is wrong to me. That kind of mistake needs punishment"
Nakinig lang ako sa kaniya at hindi umimik. Labag na labag sa loob ko ang mga pinagsasasabi niya ngayon pero kailangan ko siya eh. Masisikmura ko ba 'to?
"I'll tighten the leash on you next time. There are rules and orders so every wrong move, I will f*ck you. Hindi ka puwedeng umangal at gusto ko hindi ka gagalaw" mariing sabi niya. Bigla akong nakaramdam lalo ng takot sa kaniya pero nilabanan ko ang takot na 'yon para ilabas ang inis ko.
"Pakamanyak mo talaga"
"Hindi lang pangmamanyak ang kaya kong gawin sa'yo, I can hurt you too for disobediency"
"Puwede bang iba na lang? Kunin mo na ang lahat wag lang ang dignidad ko. Please? Ayoko"
"I don't grant that kind of wish. I'm pretty sure you will deliberately fall on your knees after I got that dignity of yours. Magkukusa ka din, at bibigay sa'kin"
"Hindi naman ako nagpopokpok para galawin mo ng galawin kahit kailan mo gusto" agad na nangilid ang mga luha ko dahil don. Pakiramdam ko napakababa ko at masyado niyang minamaliit ang kakayahan ko kaya mas lalong lumiliit din ang tingin ko sa sarili ko.
"I f*ck Saddain, and you should know that. When I want something, I get something. Same goes for a person. If I want you, I get you. You're lucky enough to have a kind of such deal that women beg me for such an offer like this"
"Ibahin mo ko sa mga babae mo. At kung s*x lang naman pala ang gusto mo, mayaman ka naman eh di pumunta ka sa strip club o sa whorehouse pero hindi ko magagawa ang kapalit ng pagtulong na gusto mo! Hindi rin ako malandi para basta na lang pagpartehin ang mga hita ko at hintayin ang paglapit mo!"
"You're going to be a slave, a pet, and a toy the moment you agree to this, so what's the difference?"
Sa sinabi niyang yon ay gusto kong sampalin ang bastos rin niyang bibig. Kahit sinong matinong babae hindi gugustuhin ang iniaalok niya. Pero dahil wala akong magawa, papayag na lang ba ako?
"I can't do that" iling ko pero nginisihan niya lang ako ng nakakaloko.
"I'm sure you can. Deal or no deal?"
'Hes such a manipulative maniac!'
"Time is ticking, I don't have all time to wait for your answer" walang pasensyang anas niya.
Hindi pa rin ako sumagot at ikinuyumos na lang ang kamay ko sa ibabaw ng table. Hindi ako natutuwa sa gusto niyang mangyari at walang pinagkaiba 'yon sa traumang hanggang ngayon ay dala ko.
"Well then, deal is off" aniya saka tumayo para lumapit sa pinto upang umalis. No, hindi niya 'ko puwedeng iwan dito at siya lang ang may kakayahan na makatulong sa kasong hindi makatarungang ipinapataw sa'kin. Ayoko man pero kailangan ko siya.
"Wait" pigil ko sa kaniya pero hindi siya huminto at nang malapit na niyang isara ang pinto para tuluyang umalis ay...
"Deal" habol ko sa kaniya pero mukhang di niya na ata narinig at huli na dahil tuluyan na rin siyang nawala sa paningin ko.
Di ko na napigilang mapaluha lalo. Both choices are insane but I have to pick just one. Pero huli na rin ang lahat kaya kahit pumayag man ako ay wala rin.
Muling bumukas ang pinto at bigo ako sa akalang bumalik siya pero mga pulis ang dumating. Naglakad ako palabas ng room kasama sila at imbes na dalhin ako sa kosa ko ay huminto kami sa labas. Inangat ko naman ang kamay ko sa akalang poposasan ako ulit para idetain na at ilipat sa ibang center pero iginiya nila ako hanggang sa entrada ng presinto.
"There's a car outside waiting for you Ms. Lovail. Take care" sabi ng isang pulis at iniwan ako sa labas. Nakaramdam naman ako ng kaunting tuwa dahil narinig niya pa rin pala ang sinabi ko and he keep his words pero yung tuwang 'yon ay bigla ring nawala. Because getting out of here means never getting out of him. This is a democratic country, why can't I just be free?