"Come off" inis nasabi ko at pilit na kinukuskos ang balat kong may tattoo habang nasa shower. Namumula na 'to pero panay pa rin ako sa pagkukuskos sa bahaging 'yon at umaasang matatangay ng agos ng tubig ang tinta non.
'Ang tanga mo Sadd!' saway ko rin sa sarili ko.
Paano nga namang matatanggal ang tattoo eh permanent 'to? Napabuntong hininga na lang ako sa isiping isa 'tong sumpa na nagpapahirap sa mahirap ko na ngang buhay.
After I cried out all the pain, fear, and embarrassment, all that was left was my anger. I want to attack him now because of the trauma he caused me. Wala ng mailuha ang mugto kong mga mata dahil pakiramdam ko ay hawak pa rin niya ang dibdib ko pero ngayon ay mas natatakpan ng galit ang traumang nararamdaman ko. To the point that I can stab him from behind.
Pero naisip ko din, na kapag kumilos ako ng hindi nag-iisip ay baka mas malala pa ang gawin niya sa'kin sa susunod. Hindi ako natatakot mamatay sa kamay niya pero yung isiping kayang kaya niya 'kong galawin ay talagang nagpapangilabot sa'kin.
I hate him but I even hate more myself because I let that happen. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa tuwing magkaharap kami ay nanghihina ako. Kahit sino namang lalaking iharap mo sa'kin ay makakaya kong lumaban kahit makatira man lang ako ng isa.
In the gang that I was a part of back then, even if the ones I fought were triple the size of me or as tall as a pole, I never back down. But this bastard? Even if I hit him seven times, I know I will only lose in the end.
May kakaiba sa tindig niya. I don't know if it's just because he's a mafia leader or because he's just naturally like that. Kakaiba rin ang kayabangang taglay niya. He's not just airy or arrogant; he seems to have proven a lot. He comes from the wealthiest family, but based on the articles I have read, everything he has is his own. And are all fruits of his own efforts. Pero kahit siya man ang maging pinakasuccessful na tao sa buong mundo, hindi non maaalis ang masamang pagtingin ko. Madilim ang budhi niya at isa siyang kriminal.
Kriminal din naman ako at hindi ko 'yon idedeny dahil noong nasa gang pa ako ay may nalalabag kami sa batas pero hindi ko matukoy kung anong klase ng pagiging kriminal ang isang 'to. Dapat nga bang katakutan ko talaga siya bukod sa panghaharass niya? Or ako ang mas katakutan niya dahil di niya alam kung paano ako tumira?
When I find out what his weakness is, I won't hesitate to use it to bring him down. But there is also a doubt in me that I might just eat my words and be ashamed of myself.
It's already past 11 in the evening. I didn't eat dinner because apart from not being hungry, I also didn't want to see him thinking that he might be downstairs. Hindi na nakabalik si Manang dito sa kuwarto at hindi ko alam kung bakit. Gusto kong bumaba ngayon para uminom ng tubig dahil ayoko namang tiisin 'to at mas ayoko namang mamatay dito.
Uuwi ako bukas ng alas kuwatro at sisiguruhin kong makakauwi ako. Hindi ko na talaga kayang magtiis pa sa lungga ng isang halimaw na tulad niya. Hindi niya 'ko puwedeng diktahan at hangga't kaya kong lumaban, ay hinding hindi ko ibibigay ang aking mga karapatan.
I carefully turned the doorknob and came out of the room. I took a quick glance down the hallway and when I felt at ease, I went downstairs silently. Everyone was probably asleep besides the soldiers posted outside to keep an eye on things, so I didn't make any noise.
Pumunta ako sa kitchen at nagbukas ng ref para magnakaw ng pagkain. Kasi, bakit hindi? I'm a criminal remember?
'Saka pagkain lang naman 'to at hindi pera' pangungumbinsi ko pa sa sarili kong taliwas naman sa pangangatuwiran.
Kumuha ako ng isang apple at tubig. Nagstay muna ako sa kitchen counter at naupo habang kumakain. Hindi ako dapuan ng antok kaya magpapalipas muna ako ng oras dito since makakaalis na rin naman ako.
Naisip ko pang ang peaceful dito sa ibaba dahil tahimik at madilim, pero akala ko lang pala. Dahil nang mag-angat ako ng paningin ay nakita ko rin siyang nakatingin sa akin. May hawak siyang bote ng alak at mukhang papalapit sa puwesto ko.
'Kung minamalas ka nga naman. Iwasan mo man o hindi ay para siyang kakaibang species ng kabute'
Gusto kong umalis sa pagkakaupo ko ngayon pero parang napako na ako sa puwesto ko. Ilang hakbang na lang niya ay mas malapit na siya sa akin. Ibinaba ko na lamang ang paningin ko sa basong hawak ko at nagkunwari sa sarili kong hindi ko siya nakita kahit anino man lang niya.
He passed in front of me and took something from the kitchen cabinet above.
"How's your arm?" he suddenly asked. I didn't answer and kept my eyes on the glass I'm holding.
"Hope it bleeds so bad" sarkastikong sabi niya saka humarap sa akin. Inilapag niya ang bote at nagsalin mismo sa harap ko. That whiskey was one of the most expensive brands. The Macallan 1926.
Napahawak ako ng mahigpit sa baso na halos sirain na 'to ng marinig ko ang sumunod niyang sinabi. "I didn't expected that you're gonna be that so traumatized earlier. Don't tell me no one has ever done that to you. They have never touched you, have they?
'Sadd 'wag kang magkakamaling basagin ang baso at baka makapatay ka ngayong oras na 'to'
"Hindi ka lang pala basta na trauma, nadisable ka rin HAHAHAH" tawa niya ng hindi ako umimik. "You're interesting"
Bigla niyang hinawi ang mga strands ng buhok kong tumabon sa mukha ko at inilagay niya yon sa likod ng tenga ko. I slightly flinched when he did that. "So interesting to use you as my toy"
His hand crawled to my nape to bring me closer to him.
'Sadd, you're allowing this man again to keep your guard down! Fight back!'
"Before you leave the Mansion..." he whispered and sniffed my hair. "...left me that brassiere you use earlier" I swallowed hard as he look at my eyes. And when he said these following words my heart explode and bloods rushed up to my face.
"I'll bring it with me the next time we meet. And you will put it on while getting dressed in front of me."
I moved my head to divert my nape from his grip. I throw him a bad stare and fight his debilitating look. He let go of me and took a sip of his liquor.
"You can't just tell me what to do"
"False. Don't be so ahead of yourself"
"Don't be so rest assured"
"I can do everything I want, and you will gonna do it as long as I like" he smirked evilly.
So I smirked at him back. "Tsh. Make me"
"Sure, baby"