Have you ever come across with a feeling where you wanted just a little attention, appreciation or time of your parents or loved ones and you got ignored by them. Like a normal child you expect them to be with you like a shield, you want them to encourage or motivate you in little steps of your success so you could do something big in the future to make them feel proud but what if they degrade you all the time, ignore you as if you don't exist.
I guess at some point of our growing age we may have felt the need for our parents or our loved ones to be with us but never got it. And sometimes even if we ask them what is the reason of your ignoring behaviour, the answers we usually get are something like this...
we don't have free time to waste, we have work to do.
we will do it later may be in the evening or any other day.
o please at least do something alone, you will become stronger and confident this way.
Seeing such behaviour of theirs sometime raises some questions in ones mind that is...
why do they bring us in the world, when they only wanted to ignore us?
whether I am this much burden to them, that they don't even want to spend time with me?
what should I do or say so that they just spends a little time with me and doesn't leave me alone?
....
Next morning I wake up, feeling the vibration of my phone which was on my bed only. While lying on my stomach I drag my hand towards phone, pick it up and then answered the call...
Me: (Sleepy voice) Hey
Vihaa: Hey sleepy head!
Me: (Sitting up on the bed) Good morning
Vihaa: Good morning, how is my kiddo today.
Me: (Thinking for few seconds, wow so much love that too early in the morning) I am good, how are you? What happened you called me at this hour, is everything alright?
Vihaa: (With serious tone) Huhhhh, What do you mean by saying that, now I can't even call you? And for your information, let me tell you what time it is in the morning, it is 8 o'clock now.
Me: (Fully awake by now, rubbing the back of my neck) Umm, I didn't mean, you can call me anytime.
Vihaa: (Laughing) I was just kidding.
Me: (Smiling) Okay.
Vihaa: Hmmm but you just have to wake up now because, you have to go to university website and check the update of your result.
Me: Okay, I will call you back or drop a message to you in an hour after checking it.
Vihaa: Cool, just drop me a message.
Me: Okay.
After this I hang up the call, put charger to my phone and keep it on the bed side table. I get up from the bed then start getting fresh quickly, it took me around thirty minutes, I step outside from the washroom with a towel wrapped around my body. I start wearing my casual clothes that is a pair of short and t-shirt, once done I walk towards the study table, sit on the beside chair then start opening the laptop.
As soon as laptop got open, I open the university website to check my result. After fifteen minutes or so, I found my name on the list where it was written that I can fill form for registration and some list of documents was there too that I will be needing to submit with the form. I note down each and everything, once done I close the laptop then immediately drop a text message to Vihaa telling her about this.
After I leave the room, walk towards the dining area to eat my breakfast plus let mother and father know about the results. The moment I step inside area I see father walking out from the kitchen with his office lunch box in his hand, seeing this I directly walk towards him because I know soon he will leave for his office so, I have to talk to him now only.
While he was wearing his shoes, I initiated the conversation..
Me: Father, I have passed the entrance exam and I have been called by the university to fill registration process so, they can soon start working on the admission process. I have also listed down the documents which I will be needed to submit them with the form.
Father: (Laughed a little and with sarcasm) Okay, but I do know you will be called for registration process whether you have passed the exam or not because all they need is money. Such big universities work like this only. And we will go tomorrow but I will leave early after giving my signatures, you will complete rest of the process alone there as I have some meetings in office.
Me: Okay no issue.
Though, I have many more words to say but knowing he like to see me strong and according to him talking about my feelings will show me weak so, I choose to say these three words only.
After this little conversation of ours, he walk outside of the house for his office and I walk inside the kitchen to serve myself breakfast. However, while coming outside the kitchen mother walks out with me too, we settled down on our chairs start having our breakfast. We were having breakfast when suddenly mother's phone rang and she went to her room to listen to her, a few minutes later she came out talking to someone on the phone.
Seeing her all lost in her talks over the call, I also let myself get lost in those voices which have been creating a storm in my mind since I talked to father...
what would have happened if he had praised me a little?
how easily he said that it doesn't matter if you fail or pass, if you have money then everything is fine.
Is it so important to have money that in front of that ones efforts/emotions has no value?
he don't have time even for his own child. Now, is it necessary to make her strong or confident that on the most special days of her life, she has to be left alone?
why is it that a stranger, I mean Vihaa takes care of me, always encourages me to do better in life and but my own father never do such a thing? Am I such a bad person?
Just like this not just my breakfast got finished but my whole day passed by, thankfully no scene happened. However, by the end of the day I feel completely exhausted because those voices never leaved my mind plus I don't get chance to meet Vihaa too as she texted me that she will be busy in the evening so no walking today. And like as usual I ended up in granny's room with another sleepless night.
Next morning, as per our yesterday's conversation I walk inside the university with father. Together we walk towards the reception where I asked the lady where to go for new student admission or registration process, she told us the direction of the room and we both walk towards that room. The moment we step inside the room, I see many kids with their parents and this scene put a smile on my face. A thought pop up in my mind...
how good it feel seeing your loved ones or your parents being there for you, in the beginning of such new journeys.
Soon my trance break hearing father's voice..
Father: Siya!!
Me: Ye.. yeah.
Father: Start working I don't have whole day free to stand with you just like that and doing nothing in particular.
Me: Okay. (Honestly, it hurt a little but its okay I choose to ignore it because this is nothing new)
After this we start working on the registration process with the help of a teacher who is helping others too. It took us around twenty minutes to set the documents in order, once its done father pick up the pen and start signing wherever his signatures required. As soon as signature father finished he put the pen down, look at me and said..
Father: (Authoritative and strict tone) So, my work is done here I am leaving. Do rest of the work carefully, because I don't want you or me to come here for this work again got it?
Me: (Looking down at the documents alone) Okay
Though what I actually wanted to say... don't go dad, be with me a little more I will finish the work real soon for you, I need you please don't leave me alone. Don't go please.
With this he start walking towards the door and soon move outside, I watch him going with my numbed eyes. However, seeing him going I took a deep breath and force myself to look somewhere else, I watch around the room seeing how other parents or loved one of other students sitting their patiently.
Ignoring all my thoughts I tried my level best to finish this work quickly and perfectly because I don't want father to feel that I am irresponsible, careless or a bad child. Finally, it took me an hour to finish my work and for the sake of father I revised thrice so, no mistakes happen. I submit the documented file to the teacher present their and then move outside the room.
When I reached the university gate I heard my name being called...
Voice: Siya!!
I turn in the direction of the voice, there I found Mr Alexander (Carissa's father) standing there and looking at me with a smile on his face, noticing my attention towards him, he come and stand in front of me.
Me: Hello sir,
Alexander: O come on kid, call me with my name or you can say uncle.
Me: Okay uncle. Tell me what can I do for you?
Uncle: (At first he hinted me with his hand to walk outside the university gate and while walking he start speaking) Last night Carissa fell down in the bathroom so her back got injured too. Because of all of this she won't be able to join the university at least for a month so, I will be really thankful to you if you could share you notes as well as book list with her during this time.
Me: (Feeling hope in his voice, I choose not to deny help) Okay uncle I will try my best.
Uncle: (Suddenly stop walking, look at me with proudful eyes) Thank you so much kid, I am proud of you. I am giving you my number, you can share the notes over here okay?
Me: Okay.
With this he pulled out his card from the his pocket give it to me then after bidding me good bye he walked away. I book a cab for myself to reach house, while riding towards my house I decided to call father to let him know work is done and I am going back, in hope that may be I can get some appreciation to hear from him...
Me: Hello father.
Father: Yes Siya!
Me: I submitted the documented file, going back towards home now and..
Father: Okay, see you in the evening.
And he hang up the call, not even listened to me whole talk. I sighed frustrated, keep my phone back in the pocket then start looking the outside view. After an hour plus fifteen minutes I reach back home, once I finish getting fresh I pick up the phone and drop a message to Vihaa..
Me: Hey, I had submitted the documents in the university, now I am back home.
Vihaa: (Replied after five minutes) Great kiddo, see you in the evening we will be going for a shopping then we will talk over a coffee.
Me: Okay.
I drop my phone on the bed, then pick up a novel from the study table and start reading it. Just like this time passed by, in reading book, eating lunch and falling asleep for some time. Next I woke up hearing loud voices of my granny...
Granny: (Crying and yelling) I am so dead.
Without thinking about anything I ran outside the room hurriedly, walk towards her room. The moment I entered inside in the room I got shocked seeing...
To Be Continued....