Studies are not something where you just have to sit at one place, open your books and start studying it rather it is a whole damn process where you have to get mentally prepared for it and then you do it. But what if life is full of drama, people you are living with just love to create a scene then how will you be able to study?
Once in a while such situation arises then I guess its fine but what if on daily basis such situations occur, how can one keep focusing on his or her studies? how can ones cannot get involved in such drama? When there is distance between us or we are not living with them, then avoiding such situation is possible but what if you stay with them under the same roof then how can you avoid such situations.
And in such a situation, our elders tell us that to study, how can one study when the drama never ends at home. And if you fail by mistake or get less marks then this is what they will be saying to you… "you just have to study and nothing else should matter to you in this age. Now you can't do even this much work"
...
Next day I woke up at seven in the morning hearing my alarm tone, as usual exhausted and tired (with my hard work in dream) I walk towards my room. The moment I step inside the room, I feel my phone vibrating but I choose to ignore it, keeping my phone, earphones, water bottle on the table I walk towards the washroom then start getting fresh. After thirty minutes I come outside from the washroom, wrapped in bathrobe but got shocked because at that time I realised that room door is wide open.
Without thinking about anything I hurriedly walk towards the room door and closed it with a thud, then lock it. After this I walk towards the wardrobe, open it then start getting dressed in casuals. While doing so I can sense my phone is vibrating few more times and once I got completely ready, I pick up my phone to check who the person is.
I unlock my phone, there I see three message from Vihaa and other two messages from Jazz. Seeing both of their messages, smiling widely I start reading them..
Jazz: she has shared some funny videos, while seeing them I laugh whole heartedly.
Vihaa: Hey, kiddo. How are you? Don't forget we will be discussing what have you studied till now for the entrance exam.
After reading Vihaa's message my mind instantly speak up..
Mind: Huhh what's even there to discuss when we hadn't studied anything yet.
Me: Exactly.
I replied her back saying okay and then send laughing emoji's to Jazz. After this I plug charger in my phone keep it on the bedside table, then I open the door and start walking towards the dining area to eat my breakfast. As I reach there I found father, aunt and granny sitting there eating their own breakfast, mother cooking breakfast for them. I directly walk inside the kitchen to get myself a glass of milk plus my plate of breakfast.
While I am pouring the milk in my glass from the packet, mother start talking to me...
Mother: Good morning Siya.
Me: Good morning mother.
Mother: You are looking tired exhausted what happened?
Me: Just usual, I hadn't slept yesterday night.
Mother: Why? Are you sick?
Me: No. It just I was looking after granny so, how could I ignore her and sleep.
Father: (Walking inside the kitchen, with his empty plate and glass) O really!! in the morning it self granny told me you were watching something in your phone late night.
Me: (Defending my self) I was reading a story just to stay awake so if granny needed my help then I will be there.
Father: (Chuckling) Wow (to my mother) Look, now when one's own mistake is caught, people are making excuses.
Me: (Getting irritated, a bit loud voice) O please I am not making excuses this is what I do every night plus as you have said I have to make sure she doesn't fell down so, I try to stay awake by reading stories or watching something. O yeah one more thing, she keeps the light of her bathroom on and this light makes me feel like it is day time only, so my mind remains active... that's why also I don't fall sleep.
Mother: Okay calm down Siya why are you getting irritated and raising your voice?
Me: (Deadpan) Because he is accusing me for which I am not doing it.
Father: Don't you raise your voice at me and just stop making excuses.
After saying this he move out from the kitchen, here I am feeling as if I am burning. I can feel myself getting more and more angry as minutes getting passed by. To calm myself, unknowingly I start drinking my glass of milk but as soon as I took a sip, my tongue got burnt and I screamed. Hearing that scream, out of concern mother rushed at my side and start speaking...
Mother: What happened Siya?
Me: Nothing milk is too hot but unknowingly I drink it and my tongue got burnt a little.
Mother: Are you idiot? Drink it carefully and don't drink it empty stomach, wait I am giving you breakfast.
Me: Okay
In a minute or so with a vegetable sandwich in my plate in one hand and glass of milk in other hand, I walk out from the kitchen then settled myself on the one of the dining chair and start eating it. Fortunately, no one is there with me so, I completed my breakfast in complete silence and once it was done then only I realized how easily food calm my anger. Once again I walk inside the kitchen with empty plate and glass in my hand and a smile on my face to clean my plate.
However, this time mother look at me from top to bottom for few seconds then start speaking...
Mother: What is it Siya? Just few minutes back you were angry and now you are smiling what happened?
Me: I guess now the food is in my tummy so, I am happy.
Mother: (Chuckling lightly) So, basically you are trying to say that if you are empty stomach for longer duration then you would be irritated and angry?
Me: (Smiling a bit and ruffling my hairs) Yeah I guess
Mother: This is cool, I will keep in my mind for future.
Me: I have to give entrance exam after few days and I am unable to study for it because of the daily drama happening. (I don't know why but I just want to share this with someone so, I just tell her)
Mother: (Looking directly at me) Don't make excuses Siya, now that you live in a joint family, these dramas will continue, learn to ignore them.
Me: But what if aunt or granny drag me in such situations, tells me how you behaved or what happened to them?
Mother: Listen to me carefully, your granny and aunt hate me because of generation gap. So, try to just ignore them okay?
Me: Okay, but won't they will feel bad if I avoid them?
Mother: No need to be too kind, your kindness here is considered as your stupidity.
Me: Okay
After this I go out from the kitchen with water bottle in my hand, start walking towards my room with a thought running inside my head...
me being kind is really my stupidity? I just don't want aunt and granny too think no one is there for them, that's why I give my time to them or listen to them but why this act of mine considered as my foolishness? Dose generation gap always considered as a factor of hating someone? Why can't we people adjust, understand each other without fighting?
mother said to avoid such situations but how can I because almost on daily basis I am seeing them behaving like this and creating nuisance. I wish I could live somewhere alone so, I could avoid all of this and focus my mind on studies only.
And at the last thought of mine, my trance break and then only I realize that I have reach inside my room. Seeing this I close the door then walk towards my study table, settling down on the beside chair I open the book of social psychology and start reading because Vihaa will be discussing the preparation in the evening so, I should be prepared for it.
However, I tried many time to keep my mind focused on the book but it keep on wondering over what mother has told me earlier. Just like this an hour passed but I am still on the same page of the book, being frustrated I close the book and keep it back on its place. I get up from the chair then walk towards the bed, there I pickup my phone from the study table and lay down on the bed, on my stomach.
I start playing game on my phone, after thirty minutes when all of my lives finished I keep my phone aside and thought of sleeping for sometime. Next I wake up hearing mother's voice calling me for lunch..
Mother: Siya come for lunch.
Me: Coming.
I get up from the bed feeling energetic as I just have a peaceful sleep that too without dreams, I go inside the washroom and come out after washing my face. After drying my face from the towel, I walk out from my room then start walking towards the dining hall for the lunch. Once lunch got over, I come back in my room pick up my book and start studying it, this time I am able to keep my self focused and seeing this I mentally patted my self on the back.
As soon as I complete a full chapter of book which was on Attitude, I hear my phone ringing. Without seeing the callers name I answered the call, while keeping my book back on its place...
Me: Hello
Vihaa: Hey kiddo!
Me: Hey, wassup?
Vihaa: Nothing much its time for our evening walk.
Me: (Hearing this I got surprised because this means I completed the whole chapter in three hours) Yeah see you in five minutes.
Vihaa: Okay.
She hang up the phone, I get up from the chair then stretch myself for few seconds. After this I get ready in three minutes, wearing my tracks and peeing one last time before leaving the house. In exactly seven minutes I am standing in front of her smiling and she is smiling back at me too, like always we start walking around the park silently or simply enjoying the silence.
Once ten rounds of park completed, we sit back on one of the benches. As soon as we got settled down she started speaking...
Vihaa: So tell me how preparation is going on and how much you have studied till now?
Me: Actually I........
TO BE CONTINUED.....