Its said that even a small happiness can remove every sorrow, but imagine what happens when this happiness is just for a moment and then in the next moment it got separated from you.
Around Eight in the night mother called out my name,
Mother: Siya!!!
Siya: Yeah coming.
I come out all in my night suit, start walking towards the dining hall as its time to eat my dinner and for the first time I am feeling relaxed, happy and at peace that too in this house, where I have rarely felt these emotions. The moment I reach in the dining hall, all of my family members looked at me curiously and with amaze expressions. In response to this I raise my eyebrows, asking them what happened and in reply to this they just shrugged their shoulder, again resume to doing their things.
However, I choose to ignore them, I directly walk inside the kitchen pick up my plate, serve my food on it and then I come out to sit on the dining chair. Once, I got settled father initiated the conversation,
Father: What's the reason behind your smile?
Siya: (Slow voice) I have a very good morning with Vihaa, we go for shopping and had lot of fun.
Father: (Hummed) Hmmm.
Aunt: (Sweet tone but taunting) Wow, you have time to go with your friends but no matter how much I ask you to go with me, you don't have time to go with me.
And here sentence took away my smile.
As I hear this I look up at my Aunt first, then I look at my father, mother, bother and granny and as expected I see my father smirking, brother and mother trying to hide their smile keeping their head down and granny giving me looks saying "you idiot how can you ignore her." And here I am having two thoughts in my mind, first what so funny in this situation and second one is how can my Aunt be so perfect in being a mood spoiler.
However, granny's voice break the train of my thoughts..
Granny: Dear why are you silent, give some reply to your Aunt.
Siya: (Thinking for a minute or so, I speak up hesitantly) Umm, it just she has something personal to discuss with me.
Mind: What a professional liar you are bro? Come on I dare you to tell her that, the real reason why you avoid going out with her? If you have guts, tell her that one she is not of age to roam around with you, then she smells so bad and lastly her negative energy which suffocate you to the core.
As I am hearing this voice I can feel as if I am getting angrier with every passing second, I just want to break something or someone. I can feel myself getting stiff, holding my spoon more tightly, more like in a fisting manner and looking at something with more focused but don't know what. However, sudden voice of Aunt break my trance,
Aunt: (Huffing, complaining tone) All she has to give are excuses.
After saying this she just get up from her seat, pick up her plate and go inside the kitchen, in nearly two minutes she come outside and leave the dinning hall with scowl on her face. Soon granny to stand up, directly follows Aunt that is, start walking towards the her room. In around fifteen minutes or so I finished my dinner, once my plate got cleaned I start walking in the direction of my room with water bottle in my hand.
However, before I could enter in my room I heard father's voice loud and clear..
Father: Don't forget you have to sleep in granny's room from now on.
I choose not to say anything, as I can feel I am not being my self lately. I walk inside my room lock it from inside, the moment I sense that I am completely alone, I start hearing voices in my head and just to stop to them I walk straight near my study table, then I punch my hand at the wall. And this step make me feel the pain plus suddenly those voice stopped, I speak to my self while smirking...
Siya: Did you see this, finally I can say physical pain is better than mental pain.
However, my craziness soon wiped off as after five minutes or so I start feeling pain and to be honest it is hurting like hell. Though, I am happy somewhere because this is taking my whole attention, rather then those stupid voice. Rather then doing bandage to my injured hand, I keep it as it is. I pick up New moon by Stephenie Meyer, plug in earphones and start reading, my reading time got interrupted when I heard my phone ringing, I picked up the call..
Father: Where are you?
Siya: (Rolling my eyes) In my room
Father: (Scolding and frustrated voice) Siya I think you have forgotten, didn't I told you that you have to sleep in her room from now on.
Siya: (Rolled my eyes and frustrated) Yeah I know, I remember it too and I am going there now.
He just hang up on me, I pick my phone with earphones with me, leave the room with water bottle in my hand. I walk towards granny's room, once I reached their, I choose to enter in her room like a thief because I know she usually fall asleep around nine thirty. I open door almost making less to no sound at all, then I walk inside the room on my toes and once, when I am inside the room, I notice that her room is not in complete darkness as night bulb is on but still the light is so much dim that it is close to darkness.
However, once I got settled on the double bed kept beside to her bed, I open night mode in my phone and start watching divergent movie because I am not at all feeling sleepy. As movie got over, I see the time which is one fifteen, I am still wide awake so, start thinking what should I do know, while I take my time to think I put my phone aside. But as soon as my mind got idle, again I start hearing various voice inside me, to stop that I pick up my phone start watching The conjuring movie and this move alert me more.
As the movie got over I check the time which says its three thirty in the morning, by this time I start feeling a bit tired. And thinking that finally I can sleep now, I keep my phone aside, with lot of trouble I finally fall asleep but nightmare started...
" i am in a room full of people, some I know and some I don't know. They all are speaking together, the sound is so much loud that I am unable to hear a single thing. However, I keep my palms on my ears to low it down, but it keep on getting loud and loud, then in the next moment, running, then it changed it again, I am now getting up on a chair, tying the rope hanging on the fan, around my neck and then I pushed the chair, hanged my self"
I woke up with a shock, all sweating, increased heart beats and once I got my self calmed, I lay down on my stomach, pressed my head down on the pillow, then I keep the my left hand palm on my mouth and started crying like a baby. After sometime I feel my tears dried but I keep laying like a dead body, looking at somewhere but don't know what.
I may have fall asleep at sometime because next I wake up, around six in the morning hearing shuffling noises from the bed beside me. Although I am still in sleep trance but still I force my self to wake up, I walk towards my room while my eyes closed only so, basically I am walking in my sleep.
Once I reach in my room, I close the door and throw my self on the bed and then again I fall asleep. Next, I wake up because of my mother shaking me, this time I am feeling severe headache and because of this only I have my soul focus is on it, I literally ignored whatever mother was saying. Soon she left the room with a scowl on her face but not before keeping my phone on the side table, I yawn widely, then I massage my temples with my both hands, in hope that it relax headache but nothing happened.
However, sudden ping sound from my phone pulled my attention towards it, I pick up the phone to check what is it and there I find a message from Vihaa, I start reading it..
Vihaa - though all you can see darkness around you, whenever you close your eyes but have you ever felt that, with your closed eyes you can still see some lights even though it is just a single dot. And if the answer is yes, then this what a light of hope looks like.
(Good Morning my small baby)
As I finished reading the message, I smile widely and just like this I realized no matter how deep the darkness of the night is. It will be morning again, clouds may got dark, sunlight may got decrease but still hope will remain somewhere in the heart.