The light of happiness dispels the shadow of darkness, but it works in slow motion. Honestly, with Vihaa I can see the brightness and hope for something beautiful. I feel so light with her as if I have so much weight on my shoulder of guilt, regret or some of those unsaid words.
Usually when I sit idle, a thought comes to my mind to share these feelings with someone. And in an instant I look at my family, to tell them but whenever I go to them, every time I find them busy either doing their own things or not interested in my talks. And seeing their behaviour, I don't like talking to them or sharing my feelings with them. Honestly, I don't like my family because talking to them is really tough as they keep on judging me, sometimes I think as if they are my family because no one judges their family members.
Whenever such situations occur then I open Ani's message chat and start texting her and then only it clicks in my mind that, her this number is of no use because not only she has gone missing rather her number gone missing too. After this I open Erik's message chat, start texting him but then it clicks in my that I am not wanted by him. At last I have no option, to contact and talk to someone to share my feelings so, I plug my earphones in and start listening to music and like this I suppress my feelings.
All of a sudden I heard a yelling voice calling my name and then only I realised that I was playing badminton but rather than focusing on my game I was lost in my thoughts.
Voice: Siya!!!!
Siya: (Keeping my racket down and speaking up hesitantly) Ye.. yeah Vihaa. What is it? Sorry, I was just thinking about something.
Vihaa: (Complaining tone) What the hell you were thinking, you were playing so rough and hitting every shot with extra power?
Siya: (Rubbing the back of my) Sorry, it's just many thoughts that were running in my mind.
Without saying anything she just kept her racket down, she started moving toward the nearby bench in the park. I followed her like a lost puppy, once we got settled down on the bench, we kept our rackets beside us on the bench only. After a pause of a minute or so, Vihaa initiated the conversation..
Vihaa: You know why this morning I choose to, not to study at home and play badminton outside?
Siya: Don't know
Vihaa: Learning from textbooks everyday and having no fun, is boring. I want you to learn things with fun, whether it's education related or life related.
Siya: Okay.
Vihaa: Now tell me what you were thinking, sharing is always good.
And after taking a pause of a minute or so, I took a deep breath in and started telling about what my family behaviour is, how it makes me feel and how I feel thinking about having no friends. All she does while I talk about these things, is that she listens to me patiently and this provides me a sense of peace as this was the first time I found someone listening to me.
Once I said it all, I took a long deep breath to look at her with a deep focus. As I am looking at her I am feeling, she is lost somewhere or thinking about something. The more seconds get passed, she is not speaking anything and with this I am getting nervous too, however, after a minute or so she speaks up...
Vihaa: See, it's normal to have such issues in family because they usually think, we as children have a single duty to study and make our career. Rest issues like break ups (friendship or relationship) or emotions we cannot feel in this age.
Siya: Hmmm
Vihaa: Their behaviour can also be considered as generational gap. And on every stage communication becomes quite difficult. Honestly, you are not alone, because like you many children do suffer and even I am also one of them.
Siya: Okay, then what should I do?
Vihaa: You can't do anything except to try. See, they are our family/parents they should know what's going on in our lives but you should be clear, with whatever you are saying. I know it's really difficult for you to express but try it.
Siya: Okay.
Vihaa: Your family lacks attachment and from your talks I know you guys living in a house like strangers, for the sake of saying you are family but in reality you are not.
Siya: Yeah I feel it sometimes. I am getting really tired by living a life like this and I have no friends to hangout with.
Vihaa: I can understand but don't worry everything will be alright one day.
Once again we sit there in complete silence, my mind processes what all she said and I come to realise that, though, I always knew this would be right but listening to this from her gives me another level of peace and comfort. It happens that no matter how much you feel right, but when that special person says just once and everything seems right to you.
Just like this another morning passed by, though the beginning wasn't that good but ended well. I learned a new way to handle what I feel when my family ignores or not listens to me. In case of friends I can't do anything as when the right time would come, I am hoping to get new friends.
Around ten in the morning I reach back home from the park, physically exhausted because of play and hunger but mentally I am at little peace. I directly move towards the washroom, and start getting fresh. I took around twenty minutes to get all ready, I left my room and go towards the kitchen. I serve my plate with a vegetable sandwich, with fresh apple and a glass of milk and then I sat on one of the dining chairs, and start devouring my food.
Fortunately, time was in my favour as I found none of my family members are near because if anyone of them would be present then peace would be nowhere. Once my breakfast got over I go back in the kitchen then, I clean my plates. Later, with a bottle in my hand I walk back in my room a water bottle in my hand.
As soon as I got settle in my room, I pick my course book and start reading for exams, make notes side bye side. And I realised just a simple talk with Vihaa, relaxed my mind so much that I am able to study efficiently plus learning also is bit easy too. Or else whenever my mind is too much occupied with thoughts then all I do is to stare the book and read words on repeat.
Like this I got a tale of a beautiful morning I spent with Vihaa.
To Be Continued.....