#1
My nods and winks were conveying more than just "yes" or "okay"
Connected on a level unknown to both of us till now
We both felt this
At this intimate moment
This is love.
It couldn't get any deeper, assimilating, relaxed and selfish than this.
We had maxed out on ourselves, putting limiters all too early.
Ignoring what I have done always helps me live with myself better
But I couldn't ignore this, that I wouldn't be able to love anyone anymore than this, my mind wouldn't allow me to as it thinks too much of you.
I believed with every fibre of my being that you were the only one for me, but...
...was I
also..
....the only one for you?
#2
To love you was healing and ruining my heart both at once
It was a whole new world to me, to save it all just to give it all to you
The return I got was enough to sustain me
Or so I thought
As I always was lost in the smiles and cries and giggles and everything we had.
And when someday you die
If only you hadn't met a guy like me, would you have been happier? Laughed more? Loved more?
#3
We can talk and talk and talk and there would come a point where one of us will only give dry replies and the other one will have to realise on their own that the conversation cannot continue anymore.
Now, who can decide the end of it? A happy ending with goodbyes and ciao, or not-goodbyes ending with fuck you or I don't ever wanna see your face again.
Surely it would hurt the one who wanted to talk more in either situation.
#4
Yeah that's it for today, feeling more debilitating than what's called for here.
Ciao
-sidhant