As I was looking for more information about the movie release, I saw him come out of the school's front door. I looked at him and gestured for him to join me. I noticed he was alone. Obviously, the other boy was still inside the building.
This time we headed home together. What had happened at school left no more room for the many thoughts I had about our acquaintance.
On the way home, my eyes were drawn, involuntarily, to his face covered in wounds and bruises. Likely because I was the cause of that scuffle and, indirectly, the main culprit. Not that I didn't appreciate the gesture he made to defend me, but perhaps the use of force could have been avoided.
I wanted to tell him something, anything, to thank him and apologize, but I felt too guilty and the words just wouldn't come out. In the end, to fill the awkward silence that had arisen, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"What did they say? Will they take action?" I asked.
"Not this time. Given the isolated incident and the fact that I'm a new student, they said they won't inform anyone at home. But if it happens again, they'll take action." he answered.
As we walked, we stumbled upon a children's playground. He stopped in the middle of the park and pointed to a spot just ahead.
"Let's sit on the swings," he simply said.
We sat down and fell back into the same awkward silence as before. My question had been of no use. I gently rocked on the swing. He was the first to speak this time.
"How long have they been bothering you like this?" he asked me, looking tired as he turned his head towards me.
"Well... let's say I've been through various stages. Don't worry about it."
"HOW CAN YOU STAY SO CALM!?" he said angrily, raising his voice.
"It's always been like this. I've gotten used to it."
"Don't talk nonsense. Why have you never rebelled? Does your aunt know? I bet the teachers don't know anything about this, otherwise they would have never done it. They wouldn't have even taken your backpack."
"How do you know about the backpack?"
"As I was leaving the classroom, I saw someone throwing something out the window, but I didn't get a chance to see who it was. Right after, I saw you running towards the yard and I put two and two together. Then, as I was heading to the roof, I saw you with that idiot. There's no point in you telling me it's nothing, I saw how scared you were. That's why you were about to..."
As he spoke, I stared at him in the eyes and, without realizing it, hot tears began to stream down my face. I tried to stop them and wipe them away, but they wouldn't stop. I was so happy to hear him speak those kind words to me. I was so happy that I felt my heart in my throat.
"Tha...thank you." I said, sobbing.
What else could I say to him? Finally, a ray of light had come to illuminate my lonely path of growth. At last, I had found someone with whom I could be myself and open up without being judged. For a moment, I thought about telling him everything that I had been carrying for years. It was something I had held inside for too long and he, in my eyes, had become the only trustworthy person I could tell it to. But at that moment, the only word I kept repeating was one.
"Thank you," I said again.
"You shouldn't thank me. I'm your friend, so it was natural for me to help you."
"That's exactly why I thank you. No one had ever exposed themselves so much for me and no one had ever considered me a friend. But you did. However, now that I'm so happy, I'm also afraid that they will retaliate against you and that you, like it has happened before, will abandon me."
"Do you want to tell me? I want to know more," he asked.
"What specifically?"
"Everything. I want to know everything. I may seem brash, but I want to know what's inside you. Actually, there's something I've been wanting to ask you for a while, but haven't had the courage to ask."
"Which is?"
"Why do you live with your aunt? Where are your parents?"
That question hit me like an arrow to the chest. The heaviest burden I carried was precisely the memory of what happened to my parents and my family.
"You know, the reason why I live with my aunt and why I was and am still bullied, are somehow connected, albeit indirectly."
As Yuto-kun listened attentively to my words, I began to gaze intently at the sky.
"Ever since I can remember, there have always been problems in my family, but over time things became increasingly heavy. During my adolescence, especially in middle school, we had financial problems and my father struggled to find work. At that time, food was a way for me to let off steam, so I started to gain weight. Needless to say, for this reason, I became a target. I had a friend, but she also began to receive the same treatment just because she was on good terms with me. So, to be left alone, she started tormenting me just like the others."
"So, that's why you didn't want others to know that we already knew each other?"
"Yes, that's why. But this was not the thing that destroyed me the most. One night, my father, on his way home, during yet another argument with my mother, killed her. He stabbed her."
I turned my gaze to him to see his expression. He had an incredulous and sorry look, the look of a person who didn't know what to do after hearing such a story. The only thing he could do was stay by my side and continue to listen. Crying harder, I told him:
"When he killed her, I didn't feel anything, I was asleep. The next morning, when I went into the kitchen, I saw my mother's body with a knife stuck in her chest. My father was gone, he had just left a note on the table that said, 'See you, honey.' Since then, I have had no news of him. He was never found by the police."
I crossed my arms, hugging myself tighter, and lowered my gaze to the floor.
The burden I was carrying was also due to the fact that on the day of the incident, I felt useless. When all this happened, I was blissfully asleep in my bed, oblivious to everything. I didn't even hear my mother's screams. I couldn't do anything. Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if, by pure chance, I had woken up. If in that case, I would have been able to do something.
Maybe if I had shown up in the kitchen a few minutes before that argument, my parents wouldn't have fought. Perhaps things would have been different, my mother would be here and all three of us would have lived in the same house, overcoming all our problems. The memory of us three eating at the same table like a happy family had brushed my mind many times. The mere thought that he could come back made my blood run cold. In that case, I wouldn't have known how to behave. The thought of possibly crossing eyes with the man who had killed my mother terrified me.
"I still live with the fear that he might return one day. I was taken into custody by my aunt, who wasn't really my aunt but my mother's best friend. Despite being divorced and having a young child to care for, she welcomed me into her home and did everything to make me feel good and not miss anything. She asked me to disclose as little as possible about this event. When I started high school, I found there most of the boys from my old school. They began to spread rumors about me and my supposed relationships with older men. So my reputation went downhill even before I started my journey in high school." I got up from the swing. "My pain comes from a greater pain," I said.
I turned to him and looked him straight in the eyes. Because of the tears, his face appeared blurry to me.
"Do you see what I have inside? It's a complete mess."
He suddenly got up from the swing and came towards me. He opened his arms and wrapped me up. He was hugging me. I was confused by his gesture and blushed slightly from embarrassment.
"I'm sorry. It's the only thing I can do," he said resignedly before pulling away. Then his eyes took on a more determined expression, "No, actually I can do something else. I don't care if they decide to target me, I have no intention of turning my back on you. This time you won't be alone, we'll be in this together. Clear?
I stared at him for a moment, amazed at his words.
"Thank you," I said, then I burst out laughing.
"And now what's gotten into you?"
"Sorry, but I can't take you seriously with your face like this."
"Well... you just ruined a nice moment," he said puffing while I kept laughing.
The next day at school, everyone was talking about what had happened the day before. The corridors were filled with talk about the fight started by the boy who had just transferred, as if the other boy had done nothing. Fortunately for me, no one had directly approached me to talk about the incident yet, everyone was just gossiping. That same day, once the bell indicating the start of the lunch break rang, Yuto-kun did something unexpected. At the end of the class, instead of going straight to the terrace, he came to my desk as I was putting my stuff in the folder.
"Ayame, hurry up! Grab everything and come with me."
"Hey, what's going on? Why…"
"Grab your things and come on, hurry up!"
I hastily threw the last remaining things on the desk into my backpack and followed him, or rather, was forced to follow him because he grabbed my hand and started running, dragging me through the entire school. I didn't understand the reason for all this rush. I thought something had happened regarding the fight the day before, that we were in trouble and that's why we were hurrying to the principal's office or the teachers' lounge. But instead, Yuto-kun dragged me down the stairs, out of the building, and into the center of the school courtyard. I was out of breath, I bent slightly forward to catch some air. We had literally plummeted into the middle of the courtyard when at a certain point, amidst the boys who were quietly eating lunch, he started screaming at the top of his lungs:
"LISTEN UP! I AM FRIENDS WITH MAEDA-SAN. ANYONE WHO DARES TO DO SOMETHING TO HER WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME IN THE SAME WAY. LET'S SEE IF YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO PICK A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN GIVE IT BACK!"
The boys, including me, were shocked by the outburst. Some started whispering amongst themselves, others got up and changed their spots. I widened my eyes and turned them to him.
What had gotten into him?
Why on earth had he done something like this?
It was as if he had openly declared war on the entire school.
Continuing to hold my hand, he led me to the shade of a tree in the courtyard. We sat down there and began to eat.
"Why did you do that?"
"I told you. We will be together. You won't be alone this time."
Eating at school in the presence of other people felt strange to me, but it wasn't all bad, it made me happy. No one approached us during that time.
While we were eating, Yuto-kun, as if surprising me had become a habit, asked me an unexpected question.
"Do you want to go out with me this Sunday?"