All I remember was darkness. The void and emptiness. It was as if my death had already begun before my life had. But I was still alive.

Those moments were only filled with darkness, for the longest amount of time, that was what I only saw. The darkness of the abyss, cold and isolating. I slowly began to wonder what my purpose is and my reason for being here. "Why is it that I'm the only one here?"," Where is everyone?", "Where is this place?", "Who brought me here?. Questions like those often plagued my mind. But what else could I do? All I have here is my mind and the never ending void, I know that no one is going to answer them since I couldn't see anyone else here, I can't even see my body, I don't even know if I have one, I don't even know who I am, I could never answer these questions on my own. All I could do was hope, hope that someone somewhere is here with me in the void. But alas, it would only lead to disappointment and led to me knowing that I was all alone here.

Those moments were my childhood, or at least what I consider them to be. I imagined if I weren't in this darkness, would everything be different? Would I finally be able to see other people? Would I be able to interact with them? But I knew that it was pointless. Nothing would ever change even if I imagine a life that I want. Nothing would change the fact that I'm here and nobody else is. Nothing, even the gods themselves could never change this.

Am I even a person? Am I even alive? What if I was dead and this is the afterlife? What if I did something bad and this was my punishment? I don't know. What did I do to deserve this? Would one moment of interaction be too much to ask for? Please, just tell me! But, no matter how much I wish, no matter how much I ask, no matter how much I pray, cry, and scream. Nothing happened. All I could do was accept it. Accept the fact that I will forever be alone.

I hate this…

Even after all that time you would think that I grew accustomed to loneliness and being alone, yet it was still the same. The only thing that changed was that I didn't cry anymore, or more like I can't. Even if I wanted to, I just couldn't. I felt empty. But I guess it was better off that way. There's no need for me to cry. There's no need for me to even feel anything. My emotions aren't gonna do anything to help me. It doesn't even matter since there's nothing and no one here. The best thing I could do was to save energy to keep conscious.

Is being alive even the best option? Should I just die?

There's nothing out here for me. Just silence and darkness. I have no purpose, my life is worth nothing. I should just die. I don't care, no one does. I should just stop breathing, stop my heart from beating. That way I might be able to get out of here. That way I could maybe, just maybe live the life I imagined and dreamed of. But, nothing worked, I couldn't die. Why couldn't I die? Just why? Everything I hoped and dreamt of would never happen. So why can't I just die? Is there even a point for me being here?

This is actual hell. It's enough to make the sanest person insane. To make the loudest of people quiet. Enough to make even the filthiest of souls repent and be scared. Yet why am I here, in this never-ending hell. I didn't even ask to be here. I didn't even ask to be alive. My thoughts began to swallow me whole. It made me feel like I was being buried in a mountain of soil and I couldn't breathe. It began to release some of my darkest thoughts that lingered in my mind. It was suffocating.

For the first time in a while, I felt sad. I felt lonely. I began to cry. But tears weren't coming out. So the only thing that was let out were screams. Even if it's pointless, it felt like I just needed to let it all out. I just wanted to be normal. Yet every single thing in this world is denying me that. I poured my entire heart out for who knows how long and put all of my emotions on display to the point that almost everything I ever felt before disappeared. My desperate tearless shouting and screams filled the never ending, dark, and eternal abyss. Hoping that someone might be able to hear them. I just want someone to be by my side to comfort me, to say that "it's ok, it's gonna be alright".

At that moment, a bright light began to shine. From the corner of the abyss. That small bright light began to spread, completely removing the darkness of the abyss, turning it into a bright haven . It felt warm, something I never felt before. It was as if a warm blanket began to cover me. Was this death? Did I finally die? If this was death, I didn't want to be separated from it anymore.

That was the last thing I remember from that moment before losing my conscience. If that was the last time I had to open my eyes, I would regret nothing. And I just hoped that maybe in my next life, I would be in a better place. Maybe then I could experience what they call joy.

But unfortunately that wasn't the case. I woke up and darkness was still surrounding me. My life was still the same. The only difference was that I wasn't alone anymore...

Someone, or something, was watching me, from the deepest pits of this hell...