Chereads / Nothing and Everything / Chapter 2 - The Fear of Nothing

Chapter 2 - The Fear of Nothing

There was someone, something in the abyss. And it's watching me. It felt sinister, and unnerving. Like something was creeping all over me. Its stares felt like sharp blades able to cut me in half. Something was creeping in the darkness, watching over me, waiting to make their move. It felt unbearable. But I'm not scared anymore. Instead of fear, I feel hope. Hope that they might be able to finally kill me and I'll finally be free from this place.

I tried looking for it, but ended up empty handed. I couldn't find them. It was as if it was part of the abyss. I tried calling out for it, but I only let out loud yelling. I never knew how to communicate with others, I never knew how to talk to begin with. There was no one to teach me. This made me realise that my dreams of interacting with others were impossible. In the bottom of the heart I knew it was impossible to begin with. But I just didn't want to acknowledge it, I just wanted that small amount of hope to help me have the will to keep my heart beating. It was foolish of me to wish for those things in the first place. It doesn't matter anyway since I'm gonna die anyway.

More long and uncountable moments pass without me finding it. It's as if the creature is avoiding me. The more I look, the more I end up with nothing. It feels like I'm chasing the abyss itself. Is this all I'm gonna do in my life? Am I gonna end up with nothing every time? Is this my fate? To be here forever?

I'm tired… I don't want to do this anymore...

If it wanted to kill me. I would have been dead ages ago. Again all that effort, for nothing. I just don't want to be alone anymore. Is that too much to ask?

"A#_@Y∆~}Ow"

A sound. No, a voice. A voice from an unknown source suddenly spoke from the depths of the darkness. I couldn't understand it. It sounded so foreign to me. I searched to see where the voice was coming from, and everything pointed to it being the creature that was watching me from the abyss.

I didn't know how to respond. What should I do? I don't know. Is it Hostile? Friendly? Why did it talk to me? I was so deep in thought, I didn't realise I unconsciously crouched down and was rolled up like a ball, shaking. From fear? I don't know anymore. I just know I felt an immense amount of pressure coming from that voice. It felt like I was a small lamb and that being was a bear, a bear bigger than I could ever hope to imagine.

"H#:∆_Qw~?"

It kept talking, and I could feel it getting closer. Creeping like a predator about to eat its prey. With every breath I made, it grew closer and closer with each passing moment it felt like it grew larger and larger. I could feel its presence lurking in every shadow to the point that I felt like it was surrounding me. Keeping me in its trap

Suddenly it stopped, at least I felt it did. It stopped moments and inches away from my body. When I looked up, I saw a body that was part of the darkness itself. It had no proper form, it was like a humanoid chunk of the abyss. I looked up and saw its heavy pure white eyes staring directly into my soul as if it was judging my every move. When I looked deeper into its eyes, I saw thousands of souls of the deceased crying for help, trapped inside those eyes like a pit that never ends. Those eyes were the only thing that brought upon light in this dark hell that gave birth to me. I wanted to look at it, since its eyes resembled the warmth I felt moments ago. Yet I couldn't, it scared me. It wasn't the same warmth from before, it was cold and gloomy.

I could hear it talking, and I saw its large dark hands slowly move onto my head. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move. Something stopped my body from doing so. Fear? Nervousness? Awe? Whatever it was, I wished I wasn't feeling it during those times.

Isn't this what I wanted? It was, yet why am I so afraid of it? Why am I acting like this? Do I really want this? I finally get to die, shouldn't I be happy?

Then it all clicked. I wanted to live. I want to live a proper life. I want to be happy. Yes, I want to die. But not like this. I want to be with people. I want to grow old in a house that I love surrounded by people that I love. I want to eat delicious food. Get angry. Get sad. Fall in love. Experience countless moments with others. So please gods. Please just give me a chance.

Yet nothing happened. I just remained there, hopeless and on my knees. And the dark figure's hand kept going closer to me until there was nothing I could do. It touched my head and I saw another bright light right in front of me. Light like the ones from before, it was warm and comforting. But it only lasted for a moment and shortly after it was all gone.

A sharp pain suddenly plagued my mind. It felt like my mind was being filled with fire. It felt hot all around my body, like being cooked alive. I let out screams of pain. It wasn't the pain of being alone, it was the pain of near death. I screamed my lungs out reflecting the amount of unbearable pain my body was in. I stayed that way for a while until my body lost consciousness.

Is this the end? Is this the creature's way of killing me? Is this how I finally die?

Next thing I knew was that I awoke in the palm of that creature. I was still alive, but why? Why didn't it kill me? Why is it doing this? Is this to torture me? All those thoughts were cut short when the creature began to talk again

"Hello… can you understand me now?..."

The creature spoke in a soft yet deep voice, majestic and elegant. It sounded like a choir of voices all echoing the same song at the same time. But how could I understand it? I couldn't before but, how could I understand it now? I must have looked perplexed since it looked like it understood immediately what I was thinking. It looks at me with its heavy eyes. But unlike what I saw before, it looked like it was filled with care and worry instead of judgement

"From the looks of it… there is a lot I need to explain to you..."