For the first time the silence of the abyss didn't scare me. Rather, I found comfort in that silence as I cried. After a few moments my tears stopped, yet the warmth in my heart remained.
I laid on Noux's chest and we spent countless silent moments floating through the endless abyss. I had an endless amount of questions to ask Noux. But I just wanted to stay in that comfort for just a little longer.
After a few moments, my curiosity became bigger than my desire to keep that peace. "Noux.. is it fine if.. I ask some questions?" I asked.
"It is fine, you can ask an endless amount of questions, and I will try to answer your questions to the best of my extent and knowledge." Noux said assuringly
"Before you arrived, I saw a bright light that covered the abyss. I passed out soon after that happened… what exactly was that?"
What exactly happened at that moment? How did Noux return here? And why was it able to overpower the darkness of the abyss?
"Well that was magic. More specifically, a portal made out of magic that lets me return to this realm. The aftershock of that event was most likely too much for your body to handle."
"Magic?.. What exactly is that? And why did it feel so.. warm"
"Well magic was something my friend created. He is more known as the God of Light and another survivor of the catastrophe, Heme. He is regarded as a genius by the other gods, but to me he is only a friend who stayed with me through thick and thin, even if his personality is a tad eccentric." They said to me with a slightly proud yet annoyed tone in their voice. Even from that one line, I could tell that Noux really cherishes their friend.
"He created it for me and the others to use to help us and protect our domain. Each of us wields a different kind of magic that amplifies our previous power and reflects our responsibilities and personalities. He spent countless days perfecting it in his domain to the point that his light looked dull and lifeless when we saw him that day. Yet I didn't feel a hint of tiredness from him, and then he went on to present his creations for us to see."
"Noux, you seem to have a really good relationship with Heme."
"Well, he stayed by my side during every moment we had in the previous world, even the world's final moments, we stayed together. We have seen all of each other's different sides, both good and bad, nonetheless he is someone I treasure dearly." Warmth filled Noux's eyes
"Wow.. I hope I get to experience that kind of relationship one day."
"You will, my child. You will one day."
Their voice was stern, almost as if they were sure that what they say is sure to happen. I just hope what they say is true, and their words aren't sugar-coated lies to make me feel better. Then maybe, I can be happy. And maybe, it would prove that I'm not that useless after all.
"I have another question, since you protect the abyss, is your magic completely black like it?"
"Not quite, even though I wield it in the name of the abyss. It will forever remain a creation of light. So when I use it, upon the first few moments a bright light equal to the amount of power I used would be released and as well as a momentary warmth, only later it would turn into the form its wielder meant it to be. In my case, dark and cold."
"So that magic, was that also the same thing you used on me when we first met?"
"You must mean that light that shined upon your forehead. Yes, it was. Not on a scale as grand as that portal, but still magic nonetheless."
"Um.. What exactly did you do to me back then? After the light faded, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my head and it was so intense that I passed out. Then when I woke up, I could suddenly understand you. Why did you do that?"
"Well dear child, before that I had been observing you to see whether you were still sane or had gone mad like the others. Then you went searching for me in the abyss, you weren't able to voice your thoughts and only let out screams. I didn't reveal myself at that time since I wanted to observe you more, and by the looks of it you were quite afraid of me at that time so I stayed put in a friendly distance where I couldn't harm you."
"Then you broke down. I couldn't stand by and observe any longer when someone was so visibly suffering in front of me, so I approached you and tried to help. When you didn't respond to the times I talked to you. I hypothesized that you couldn't understand what I was saying. So I used my magic to give you the knowledge to understand my words. I also used it to give you the ability to speak. I found it to be appropriate to give it to you both at the same time."
"Had I known that it would have that great of an effect on your body. I would only have given you the ability of understanding. That would have been good enough for me, but blinded by my hastiness I failed to see the shortcomings of my decisions. I apologize dear child, my negligence of the effects my magic had on your body only led you to even greater pain."
"O-oh, no it's fine. I could have never imagined that I would be finally able to talk to someone here. I always thought it was just another dream of mine that would never come true. So thank you for that."
"I appreciate the sentiment, dear child. But my point still stands, I did something to you without your consent. I wanted to ease your pain, but I ended up hurting you even more in the process of it when you were already at your lowest lows. No matter how much good it did, you didn't deserve to be hurt especially when you had no reason to be."
I was confused. Though it did hurt, the fact that Noux gave me the opportunity to be able to speak and understand others was enough for me to dismiss the pain that came with it. Yet Noux still looked at me with eyes filled with sorrow.
"I worry about you child. You seem to treasure yourself far too little to realize what I did was unjust. There were other ways for me to approach you back then, yet I chose the one that harmed you. I was too hasty back then." they said with a tone that looked at me with sadness.
"I know I said I would grant your every wish with no other conditions. But I would like to amend that statement."
At that moment my heart sank. I thought of all the worst things that they could say. What if they didn't want to be with me anymore, did I annoy them too much? Was I too loud or nosy? Or did they not like me at all. Thoughts like that plagued my mind filling my heart with weight so heavy it could crush it.
"I would grant your every wish. But promise me that you learn to love and care for yourself. And learn that every life is precious, including yours."
"Wh-what?"
I wasn't expecting that. I thought they were surely going to throw me away and discard me. I thought they would ask me for something more physically taxing, but loving myself? How was I supposed to do that? It was a request so simple yet complicated at the same time.
"It is exactly as I said. I want you to someday be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you are and what you've been through. Be able to feel loved, to feel in love, and to give it. And most of all to love yourself."
"But h-how do I do that? How can I love myself, when I don't know how to love? Love is first taught by family right? I don't even have that, I don't even have a home. How can I do something I don't know how to do?"
I looked in their eyes desperate for an answer. My mind and heart, confused by their request. Silence covered the abyss.
"Well you have me."
"If you desire to. I could be your family."
Those words that broke that silence also gave me hope. Hope for family, hope for home. But I was still skeptical.
"B-but isn't being family about being related by blood? We aren't even related, how could you be my family?"
"Little one, in my eons of existence, some families are formed through blood relations with one another. But there is also another kind called found family."
"Found family?...."
"It is as the name suggests, found family is the family you choose to have. It is formed by the companionship and care people have for one another. The ones you choose yourself. The family that you want to be with when your blood related family isn't there. The family you want to be with even when the world turns to dust."
Noux.... cares for me. They want me to be part of their family. That warm fuzzy feeling once again covered my chest with a slight nervousness in it.
"Then.. I could be your found family?"
"Only if you choose to be. If you want me to be your family then I accept you with open arms."
"I would let you learn how it is to love and be love. For I would love and care for you and give you everything I have. And you would do the same to me. We would help each other in our darkest moments. Be there when one needs help. And help improve each other to be better people. We would be far from a normal family, yet still family nonetheless. Knowing all of this, do you still want to be part of my family?"
I sat there in silence, pondering about my answer and possible outcomes. I wondered what I truly wanted. And no matter how hard I could try, there was only one answer that came to my mind.
"Noux"
As I called out their name, I looked into their eyes and I saw it was filled with anticipation and nervousness.
"You helped me when I was all alone, even though you could have simply ignored me. You gave me the chance to be able to fulfill my dreams and even more. Noux, you gave me hope when I thought I lost everything."
"I would be more than happy to accept being part of your family."
They looked at me with those eyes, and you couldn't even tell that they were so nervous just a mere moment ago due to them being filled with so much joy and relief.
"Then from now on I shall be your guardian and father, and you shall be my daughter, and the abyss shall be our home."
"Home..."
A home, something that I never had before. But could this abyss really turn into a home. The very same place where I felt so alone. Can something that I imagine being so warm and filled with joy really come from the cold and dark abyss?
"I know you have your doubts, but I will turn the abyss from a cold place of suffering to a place where you can feel safe from harm. Where you and I will reside for however you want to. We shall make the abyss a place of warmth and love in the near future. Though it may take some time to do so, I hope you will be able to wait for when that moment comes. This is not a promise from Noux the God who will grant your wishes, but from Noux your guardian and family."
This was once again one of the times Noux stood in front of me and told me such words with such sterness and confidence. And from the look in their eyes I knew they weren't lying. They truly believed in what they said, and now being their family, I want to trust them entirely.
"Then in return, I would like to know everything about you. From your past, stories about your family, about the previous world, your relationships."
"Hm? Why would you like to know such trivial facts about me dear child?"
Noux looked at me with a confused look in their eyes. I wanted to repay them for all the blessings they gave to me in one way or another. So maybe to start, I could maybe start to act like a true part of their family.
"Well it's only natural for a daughter to want to know about their parents right?..."
They looked at me with stunned eyes that quickly turned into joy when they heard those words. Maybe somehow it gave them the same warm and fuzzy feeling I had when they first met me.
"Well we have all the time in the world, ask me anything you want."
"Then..."
Countless moments passed by. Each one of those moments being filled with our banter and stories. Every moment felt like it passed by so quickly yet at the same time felt like an eternity. Even though we became a family, it felt like nothing changed at all. We were still the same people on the inside and out. Maybe even without that label, we were already family to begin with. I hoped that my future days were to be filled with warm days like these.
"Come to think of it dear child. You still don't have a name to call yourself by."
"A name.... I had been here for so long that I forgot that I needed one."
"What would you like to be called my child?"
"I want something pretty, something like the name of a gem or a star or a flower. Something memorable yet meaningful. Something that when you hear it, you instantly remember me. Something like your name father."
"Hm? And what is so memorable about 'Noux' my child?"
"Well.. whenever I think of your name, I imagine the darkness and the abyss, but I also imagine peacefulness and warmth from it. And I think that name is perfect for you."
"Is that so.." they looked at me with a look of fondness and admiration.
Noux pondered for a while until they eventually came up with an answer.
"Then how about, Thane? It was once the name of a flower that covered the lands of my previous world. It was able to withstand the harsh cold of winter and the heat of summer which helped many species survive during those harsh seasons. So it was given the name 'Thane' which means 'the strength and will of a knight'. But it also means 'the warmth in the times of trial". And I believe that a name like that suits you the most." They said so with a joyous tone.
It was simple yet that name felt like it had such an impact on me. It was beautiful. It was perfect.
"Thane.. I like it."
"Then it is settled."
"You shall now be known no longer just as a creature of the darkness, but also as my daughter, Thane."
Warmth filled my heart, filling it with joy and made me feel like I was floating in the air. My dream of having a family and a home, finally came true. Thank you, Noux, my father for making it come true. Thank you for giving hope to this person who only wished for companionship. Thank you for giving new life to me 'Thane' the daughter of darkness.