The being in front of me was big and menacing. And I sat on its palm that was bigger than my entire body. It stood there, waiting for me to reply to him.
Gathering the courage to talk to it. I ask "W-who…. are… you?".
Those words being the first ones I ever spoke in my life. My voice was weak and quiet. A voice fitting for someone like me.
"Greetings little one. I am Noux, a being of pure darkness and the 'God of the Abyss', or at least that's what the 'others' consider me to be."
Its harmony-like voice echoed in my ears like music. Soothing my mind and body as they say those words. Like cool waves on a beach during a starry night. It felt like my fear of them slowly faded away the more I listened to their voice.
"Where... am... I.., and w-why am I here?"
"If you want to know you must first listen to a short story, a story about how the abyss came to be, and the story of how this barren wasteland used to be the home of many people, including mine."
"Many years ago this place was a haven of all living beings. But due to unfortunate events, war broke down and struck calamity upon this land. This calamity lasted for eons. And it eventually destroyed the haven, killing everything that resided in that realm, only leaving its previous remnants, darkness, and the calamity's survivors including me.
After the war ended, millions of souls were scattered in the abyss. With no place to go and no world to go back to. I began collecting the souls of those who died during those times. Many of them were innocent people who had nothing to do with the events that took place and lived happy peaceful lives. I took pity on them. When they were alive they were what I considered my friends and family, I wanted to help them one last time to thank and honour them for what they have all done. So I gave them a place to rest peacefully inside my body. So that I could protect them from harm's way and so that they would forever be a part of me even in death. That way even if they don't have their physical bodies anymore, they would be able to experience the peace that happens after a war in one way or another.
The world was later rebuilt by me and the other survivors. They later made and went onto their own realms, but I stayed here. This was my home. What once used to be a paradise was now turned into nothingness. Even if it turned into nothing I still want to stay here so even after all that time there will be someone who remembers the world before now and the ones who lived there.
I like to believe that something only truly disappears if no one remembers it anymore. As long as I exist, their souls will be able to rest inside of me, I will forever cherish the memory of that world and it will keep on living inside of my heart."
They said, with their voice having melancholy and longing as they spoke. It wasn't to the point of being sad, it was as if old emotions resurfaced and they were looking back on those times. I wish that one day I too would be able to understand how that feels like, how they could treasure someone so much even after death. I wish that one day I would like to experience that. Noux then clenched his fists onto their palm and stopped for a brief moment. Even though their face was made out of darkness, I was still able to distinguish how they felt through the look in their eyes and their voice. They then cleared their voice and continued.
"Even though I tried to collect all of the souls of those who perished in that calamity, there were some I couldn't save. Those souls then needed somewhere to go to, somewhere to rest before their soul completely disappeared from this world. However that place was nowhere to be found, so they formed bodies based out of the darkness itself to serve as their resting place. But in order to create those bodies, they needed power. Those souls couldn't make one on their own, so they sacrificed the only thing that they had left. Their memories. They had the resting place they desired, but in doing so they forget about their lives before only leaving random memories behind.
They lived like normal people when they first started out. But in using the abyss as their body. It began to corrupt the minds of those souls, tormenting and torturing them until they went mad. And without any of their memories to rely on, they turn into mindless monsters…" they said with regret slightly filling their voice
"That's where you come in, you were most likely one of those souls that I couldn't save. It's a miracle you held out for this long. Usually someone with conditions like yours would go mad in moments. It just shows that you, child, are a lot stronger than most." It looked at me with its eyes that I once considered cold, now, those eyes looked warmer compared to before.
"Str..ong? M-me? No… I am weak, not strong. I… am worthless. I am n-nothing like that" I say, stuttering. Still getting used to speaking.
"Oh little one, you value yourself far too little. Little one, during my entire existence I have learned that no one is truly worthless. Everything happens for a reason. If there is light, there will be darkness. If there is night, there is day. If there is death, there will be life. And your birth, those times you suffered, and us being here together, all happened for a reason. For that is the will of fate and the world. And I believe that you will have a future brighter that you completely forget about the dark days you were alone in the abyss"
"I-if that's true. T-then, why was I a..lone for so long?..."
"I apologize dear child... for that would be my fault."
"When you were created, I was called by the others. They asked me for help. There was a chance that another grand war started. On a scale much bigger than before. Which deeply worried me and the others. So in order to protect the world we rebuilt, we spent months preventing it from happening. And we succeeded. But the war had already started when we arrived, so some of its effects had already been felt. We tried our best to reverse the damage, enough to keep the world stable and everyone out of harm."
"Everything that exists here in this abyss is my responsibility, from the darkness here to a speck of dust, I shall hold responsibility for whatever happens in this realm. And so I deeply apologise for not being by your side sooner. Had I known a soul had been suffering in my domain because of my absence, I would have come here sooner. If you dont forgive me, I understand. For I too experienced a pain like yours a long time ago. To make up for my mistakes I will try my best to fulfill your wishes." They said apologetic and disappointed in themselves.
Their voice was filled with a sense of responsibility, regret, and compassion. It truly felt like they cared for me. It felt similar to the light that I felt before. It wrapped my heart inside of a warm blanket, making me feel like all my worries had disappeared. But this feeling couldn't compare to that light, for this was better. Is this how it feels when someone cares for you? This warm fuzzy feeling in my chest. I much prefer this feeling than what I felt during those times. I might soon one day never want to get separated from this feeling.
"Child born from the darkness. That loneliness and pain is just one of the few things in life that you are bound to experience, joy, sadness, anger, pain, love, all of these you will someday experience."
"H-how are you so s-sure a..bout that?"
"I am sure about this, for this world that me and my fellow survivors created is built on equilibrium. Everyone who lives in this world is given the chance to experience everything that life has to offer and live the life that they want. The only thing they have to do is find the path that they desire and make it their own."
"Really? Is… is that a promise?"
"I promise it dear child."
"T-then… I want…to not be alone anymore. I want to.. be happy. Is.. that possible?"
I wonder how I looked in that moment. My desperate plea was the only thing I desired during those times. Yet why did they look at me with such sadness. Is it impossible even for a god to fulfill my wish?
"Very well then. I will happily grant your wish dear child. Little one, since you wish to never be alone anymore, I shall stay by your side until the end of eternity. So that you would never feel alone ever again."
When they said that my heart was once again with that warm fuzzy feeling. It felt like my emotions were about to spill at any moment. Finally for once in my life, one of my wishes was granted. And I finally don't have to be alone anymore. That realization hit me harder than it should. For the first time in a while, tears came running down my face. But I didn't feel sad, instead I kept feeling that warmth in my heart as my tears fell.
Noux from the tone of their voice seemed a bit flustered . As if they didn't know what to do. "Child, Are you fine? Why are you crying? Was it something I said? I apologise if that was the case, but could you tell me what is wrong." They kept mumbling and wondering about what happened and kept trying to find a way to console me as my tears kept flowing.
"I'm ok. Nothing is wrong.. I'm just…"
What was I feeling? This foreign feeling that I only felt now. A feeling that makes my heart feel warm and fuzzy. A feeling that makes me… happy. Am I happy? I guess I am. Who knew joy felt this nice.
"Thank you Noux… thank you for everything." It seemed that Noux understood what was happening and just let me cry. We spent a long amount of time like that, I kept crying and they kept consoling me. Nothing ever in my life could ever compare to that moment.
How ironic, for someone who is the God of nothingness. Turns out they were everything I needed.