Jami and I left the bar shortly after Carly and her new man-candy walked out the door. I was flustered still, stomach aching from such a close encounter, fingers trembling as we walked arm-in-arm across campus, back to our house. Jami was still talking, probably about her classes and school, but I couldn't seem to focus on what she was saying. All I could think about were the three men in the bar, my worst enemies, the people I'd avoided since I met them in high school.
"Hey," Jami said, taking hold of my arm as we kicked off our shoes inside the front door. I turned in her direction, light-headed, and focused on her face. "Are you okay? That must have been hard for you."
"Um, yeah." I cleared my throat and dropped my hands to my side. My arms were tingling and numb. I wished I'd drank more at the bar. I was far too sober to be thinking about those three. "I was fine, actually. I knew I would see them around, didn't I? They took away high school. I won't let them take away this."
The words sounded like bullshit, but Jami, thank God for my best friend, didn't push the issue.
"Sorry about Carly." She shrugged off her jacket and hung it up, helping me take off mine. "I've always known she was a bitch, but she went super hard tonight. She was a total horndog. But look at it this way… that's one guy out of the way, right? Maybe she'll give him a run for his money. Or end up eating him, like a female black widow. I guess that would work, too."
"Oh, James." I wrapped my arms around my friend with a sincere giggle. "How I love your creative mind."
Jami grinned and hugged me back. "Do you want some wine?"
"That's probably a bad idea," I said with a forced smile. "I think I need to go to bed. Class tomorrow." Really, all I wanted to do at this point was curl up in my bed and sleep the memories away.
"Sure, babe," Jami said. "Let me know if you need anything, yeah?"
Once my bedroom door was shut securely behind me, I changed into a pair of fuzzy pajamas and pulled my laptop out of my bag, firing it up to begin working on some homework. Facebook chimed at me, alerting me of a new notification, and I clicked on it. It was a friend request, and I didn't recognize the photo for a moment. But when I looked closer, I recognized the smile. It was Jason from class. The cute blond with glasses.
Smiling, I clicked Accept and then scrolled briefly through his page, enjoying his posts. He was academically inclined, this guy, and I really liked that. There were no stupid memes to pretend to laugh at. Instead, there were articles on different subjects, some travel photos, and pictures with friends. My kind of guy.
I closed out Facebook and pulled up Moodle to check my assignments. We had a short essay due for Professor Hansen—Paul, I mean—but that would be a piece of cake.
But it didn't matter, not tonight. As I stared at the cursor blinking on the empty page in front of me, nothing came. Zilch. Nada. Not even a single sliver of inspiration. I couldn't seem to focus, which was rare. I loved school, and I rarely had issues with homework.
But I couldn't focus, and I knew why. I couldn't concentrate because my three mortal enemies were in my school, probably taking my classes, and one of them was even fucking one of my roommates. Every time I tried to clear my mind, Matt Nelson's face popped into my mind. I desperately wanted to go back in time and avoid the bar—avoid school altogether, actually—because even the oldest scars never fully heal.
Sighing, I rubbed my hands over my face and took a deep breath, checking the time. It was only ten, so I pulled out my cell phone and dialed my home phone number. Dad might be asleep already, but Mom was probably awake, watching Final Jeopardy reruns on our old TV.
"Ren?" Mom said into the phone, and my heart expanded.
"Hi, mama."
"Hi, baby. It's so good to hear from you."
"I know. It's, what, like three days?"
"Something like that." Mom laughed. I loved that laugh.
"I miss you." In the background, I could hear Alex Trebek speaking, and I smiled.
"You could always come home, you know, and commute to campus," Mom teased. "Your room will always be ready for you, sweetheart."
"I know, and I appreciate it." I flopped down on my queen bed and closed my eyes, wishing I was home next to my mom on the couch. When I was around my mother, I felt like nothing could ever get me down. She could always talk me through it, make it better.
"How was your day?" Mom asked. "And your classes? What about your professors? And how was work? Did you get to work on anything exciting?"
I laughed, shaking my head. "Everything was fine. My ER rotation was fun today. I learned a lot from the lead physician." I swallow, knowing I couldn't tell her about the MVA today. People's pain saddens her, and my line of work stresses her out. It was the one thing I did that she really didn't understand. "Classes are good. The professors are fine. You know how it goes."
"Just fine, huh?"
I swallowed, sensing that she knew something was wrong. She knew everything, my mom. She knew it all. I wanted nothing more than to spill everything to her and tell her about Matt, Jake, and Aaron, all three men who had made my life a living hell. Mom knew all-too-well about these three guys, and so did my dad.
But I couldn't. I couldn't say anything because I couldn't do that to my parents. After all, those three men were responsible for my downward spiral when I was younger, and it was a mess my mom and Dad had to clean up themselves.
I couldn't do that to them. Not again.
"Everything is fine, Mom. I was just tired."
"Well, get some rest, baby, okay? And call me soon. Remember the rules? Twice a week, preferably more."
"At least," I agreed. "Give dad a kiss for me."
"I will, baby."
We hung up the phones, and I reached for my open laptop, closing it to shove it away into the depths of my bag. Something at the bottom got smashed under the computer and crinkled as I slid it in. I pulled the sheet of paper out, reading the sloppy script.
Call me anytime, even just to chat.
- Jason Laramie
My frown turned into a smile as I laid back down on the bed, eyes scanning Jason's phone number scrawled down on the paper. I grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand beside my bed and swiped my finger across the screen to unlock it. Then I typed in Jason's number to compose a new message.
This is Renee Lyon. I ended up with your phone # somehow ;)
I locked the screen and set it aside, anxious suddenly. Schoolwork was no problem. Flirting, however, had never been my strong suit. But I knew it was right because Jason Laramie seemed like a good man and friend. Shit, a good person, and I needed more of those in my life. I didn't have many people like that in high school, so I wasn't about to brush him off.
Besides, maybe Jason was just the distraction I needed from Matt, Aaron, and Jake.
After far too many minutes, my phone chimed, and I grabbed for it, eyes scanning over the message on the screen.
I was hoping you'd find the paper…no complaints here, Renee…. ;)
Feeling better, I tossed the cell phone aside and slid under the covers, eyes heavy with fatigue. My first class wasn't until noon tomorrow, so I figured I could work on homework in the morning, preferably with a clear mind and a good night's rest.
But as I slowly drifted to sleep, body heavy, all I could think about was Matt Nelson's chiseled face and slightly shaggy coal-black hair. No matter how much I tried to focus on something else, I finally fell asleep with a light tingling between my legs and Matt's face in my dreams.