The party was loud. Too loud. Music blasted over the speakers, vibrating the house's walls until it was physically and emotionally jarring. The smell of liquor and marijuana hung in the air, assaulting my nose and throat. I didn't want to be there, but I would be for him.
I shouldered my way into the crowded kitchen, scanning the faces to find the one I was looking for. He said he'd be here waiting for me.
"Renee!" a male voice called over the crowd, and I turned, hoping it was the person I was here to see.
"Oh, hi," I said, playing off my disappointment as a familiar teenage boy approached me. "Aaron, right? I was looking for Matt. He invited me here tonight."
There was something in Aaron's expression that I couldn't read, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. He nodded and shrugged his shoulders, looking sheepish.
"Yeah, Matt is upstairs waiting for you."
"Upstairs? Really?" A growing excitement smoldered in my belly. This was it. This was what I had been waiting for, for so long. "Thanks, Aaron." I was grinning now, thrilled I'd come as I swam through the crowd of people and made my way upstairs. I didn't realize Aaron was following me until I stopped at a closed door and looked over at him. He nodded once, and I twisted the handle and pushed the door open.
Matt was lying completely naked on the bed, with a dark-haired girl curled around his midsection. They both looked up at me as the door opened, and the girl snarled something that didn't even reach my ears. Matt met my gaze over her head and smiled. My stomach twisted, and nausea rolled in my gut.
I wanted to vomit.
"Glad you could come, Renee," Matt said with an easy chuckle. "Want to join us? Three is always better than two."
I stepped back out of the bedroom, stumbling blindly into Aaron, who reached out to steady me. Bile clawed up my throat, but I shoved it down and focused on the tears instead.
"Sorry, Ren," Aaron said. The worst part was that he looked sorry, making it worse.
"Oh, hey, Renee," said a second voice, and Jake Denny, the school jock and one of Matt's best friends, came up behind Aaron. "Matt's been expecting you. Aren't you going to go in?" He laughed mockingly, and I was so close to throwing up that I could taste it. Tears pressed against the back of my eyelids, threatening to spill over.
"I have to go," I mumbled, dropping my chin so they wouldn't catch the tears. Turning on my heel, I rushed past Aaron and Jake. Jake was still laughing, and even Aaron was smiling now. I despise them for it.
Quit being such a know-it-all, Renee…
How is Virgin Lyon doing today?
Hey, four-eyes, have you ever heard of contacts?
I hated all of them. I hated myself for ever thinking that guys like Matt, Aaron, and Jake could ever be anything but miserable. As I shoved my way through the crowd of partygoers to find my coat, the music's bass was overwhelming, and for a moment, I stopped and stood in the middle of the floor. I closed my eyes to breathe through the pain. The heartbreak. The betrayal.
"Going so soon, Ren?" a male voice yelled across the room, and a tremor of anxiety mixed with disgust traveled through me. I turned on the spot, my eyes on Matt as he descended the stairs. The girl wasn't with him anymore, but he was still in the process of zipping the fly of his jeans as he zoned in on me and crossed the floor. I waited in shock, realizing that if I tried to bolt now, I'd simply prove to the boys and the rest of the party that I really was as lame and pathetic as everyone always thought.
"Hey," Matt said, running his fingers through dark hair. He smiled as though he'd played an easygoing joke on a friend. Smiling like he hadn't just ripped my fucking heart from my chest and danced on it. "Sorry about that." He reached to touch my arm, but I wheeled around to face him, snarling. Anger burst from my chest in a frantic moment of despair, and I yanked my hand back, taking a step away from him.
"You're not sorry," I said quietly. "This was intentional. All of this was. I was just sorry I ever thought any of the three of you could be semi-decent people."
Above Matt's head, Jake and Aaron watched our exchange from the top of the stairwell. My eyes narrowed as I pinned my gaze back on Matt.
"Here's the deal," I said, hoping my voice didn't tremble. "If you ever try to talk to, look at, or bully me again, I will spend the rest of my life making sure you regret all the harm you ever did."
"Whoa, Ren—" Matt put his hands up in surrender, caught off guard by my out-of-character response.
"Shut the fuck up," I hissed. Years and years of torment, anger, heartbreak, and fear of these three men burst from my surface, a hot and blinding rage I almost didn't recognize myself as I sized him up. "You're an asshole."
Despite the chaos and noise in the room, I knew he could hear me. I was glad about it.
"You're a bully, a player, and a terrible person." My eyes lifted briefly from Matt's face and towards Aaron and Jake at the top of the stairs. Jake was no longer smirking. He saw that Matt no longer had the upper hand. I relished it. My eyes drifted back to Matt's face as courage filled my chest. His eyes were cold. Dark. Hateful.
I didn't give a fuck. Not at this moment. This moment was mine.
"All three of you are monsters. You always have been. So, this is my final warning." I stepped forward until I was in Matt's face. He didn't step back, and his body pressed against mine as I leaned in, brushing my lips against his ear. He smelled intoxicating. I hated him for it. "Keep my name out of your mouth, Matt, and you can tell your fucking cronies the same. It will rain hellfire if I ever have to deal with you again. Is that understood?"
Matt said nothing. He didn't even pretend to take me seriously. Instead, he reached out and touched my cheek. Smoldering embers burned through me, creating a fire deep in the pit of my stomach. His smile was sinister as he stepped towards me, threatening, and that dangerous fucking smile was the last thing I saw before I reeled my arm back and slammed it into his nose with as much force as a freight train. Blood spurted from Matt's face as he stumbled back, nearly falling. Ignoring the horrified students around me, I shook my head and scoffed at him.
"I'll take that as an agreement."