I was afraid, that by the time I had gotten to sleep again, that my new friend would have escaped before I was able to properly introduce myself.
Fortunately, it doesn't appear that our time affects the sleeping lands much at all, since my dream tonight picked up at the exact moment I had left off.
Unfortunately, that meant I found myself again directly underneath the thumb of the troubled phantom from before.
My eyes clenched shut, and posture bracing for an impact that would never come; I immediately remembered all the events leading up to this fated conclusion, and slowly awaited his judgement—unsure as to why it was so long for my fate to be sealed, only to be met with a great length of silence and the soothing breeze.
Eventually, I had to venture a peek.
When I opened my eyes to look at him, he looked uncommonly perturbed. His eyes were wide open as if I had performed a grievous wound upon him.
What did I say? What did I do?!
His mouth gaped slightly, as he leaned back against the formation which gave him such an excess of power. "What do you mean, 'goddess?' You should know as well as I do, that the One True God only bore a son."
He seemed genuinely appalled that I would make such a claim so casually.
"What?" It was my turn to be completely shocked.
This person was so totally caught up in my prayer that he stopped his actions in place, and watched me for who knows how long? Was that alone enough to trouble him to such an extent?!
None of it made sense, unless by miracle Elektra heard my call and answered with such unimaginable haste!
She must have somehow reached down into his heart and granted me mercy in his eyes, for she too knows how faithful I am!
This is proof of my bottomless hope that I had mentioned before, only in passing. How amazing it is to know that you are loved—Enough for goddesses themselves to extend their mercy even beyond the limits of their own nature, for my sake!—I will forever remain eternally grateful, despite what he said next.
"You would even blaspheme in His presence?! Not even Lucifer himself would go so far as to deny His existence. That's not how this works!" Slowly, his body reduced to the former stature that stood quite starkly above my own.
It felt like the shadow grew darker in tandem.
His voice hushed with a sense of urgency, as he continued; like a sudden fear of retribution may befall him just for witnessing my scandalous act. "What's wrong with you?!"
"M-me?! What is wrong with YOU, you unruly brute?!" I bristled at his rebuke. I was at my wit's end.
Sore, frightened, confused, and starved of natural affection, I finally released the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. A full day of thinking back on the events of the night before, also didn't hurt.
I played it back, over and over, in my head. When had I done anything that earned such a violent reaction? In fact, How dare he say such things, to a denizen that he had just met?!
"I cannot understand a single thing that you have said to me thus far, and suddenly you reach out your hand to strike me? I will not be treated in, nor spoken to this way! I have no great dishonor. For what purpose do you have to be so callous towards a loyal servant of the most elevated goddess Elektra?!"
He scoffed. The nerve! "Huh? Wait, you dare to call upon the name of Electra? Are you mad?!"
"I very well might be, considering this resounding nightmare that I am forced to replay every night! None of this makes sense to me! I do not understand it! I do not understand you!" I screamed.
"Who are you?! Why have you done this to me? What have I done to deserve such unusual punishment?! I have waited answers for long enough, and I will have my peace, or so help me godde-"
"Stop!" he waved his hand with much contrition, as if I had struck him with a slaver's whip.
"Please, stop mentioning other gods! Don't you fear His retribution?!"
Absolutely not. I would never let my praises cease for any possible reason. If he thought that this campaign would be enough to soften my devotion, to tempt me towards another god, he would be sorely mistaken!
If only it were that simple.
I still don't fully grasp what he told me, but I'll write it all down later, when it comes up in the conversation, just to be sure. I can try to think through this in the future, when I'm hopefully more lucid.
I balked. "Is that what this was all about?! Am I supposed to fear your 'God,' as you do? Hah! I'll never fall to your wiles, pawn. This great illusion you have conjured was a great waste of energy. My goddess will surely save me!"
"Be quiet! You would have us both smitten with such blatant disrespect. You know as well as I do that Electra doesn't exist!"
I was shocked beyond words. What unbelievable contempt!
He continued, while I attempted to find the words that could express the magnitude of my outrage.
"He is always watching. Even here, even now! You, who would dare to incur His wrath willingly, I feel must be either out of your mind, or hoping to end it. Please, release me from this figment. I do not wish to be destroyed with you!"
"How... dare... you...?" My eyes grew dark, and my muscles shivered with rage. "You have gone too far, in an effort to disturb my faith. How could you spout such an obvious lie to me?!"
"What lie?! I know not what they tell you in the heavens above, but not all of my kind must partake in lies to achieve our ends."
"Explain yourself!"
I shook my head. I didn't know what I would do. It wasn't possible what he was telling me; Elektra couldn't be... dead, could she? All this time?! I would not accept it! "No one besmirches my goddess before me! I am an extension of her will! Don't you think I would know?!"
Dream or not, there were some lines that immortal beings could not cross. Everyone knew it!
The fact that he could openly say such terrible things and be unaffected must either mean that he was outside their jurisdiction—a practical impossibility—or more powerful, even than them!
Again, I have to ask, who is this man?!
He glanced around, staring with amazement as if waiting for my entire body to burst into flames. "Don't tell me... Somehow, you actually BELIEVE that to be true," his hand flew to his forehead.
"What a terrible thought that might be, that there are angels who have completely deluded themselves."
"Answer me, you unholy reprobate!" I would not be ignored. I needed answers, and I needed it now! "What is your name?! Tell me, or I-"
I didn't know what I would do.
I could tell that he was looking for answers just as I was, but it seemed that he was ever more knowledgeable than any other creature I had met. All I could do, was remove the only clue I had for him.
"I will simply leave your presence." I threatened; having no intentions to actually do so. He was my only lead, as well.
In fact, I am still not completely certain that he was innocent in my stranding. It worked well enough, as a twinge of fear crossed his face if only for a moment.
His eyes ran over my body again, as if trying to finally regard me as an equal for the first instance of our entire relationship.
"No," he replied, almost certainly to himself. "That's impossible. Nobody could- then, that must mean—Are you even an angel at all? This order, it doesn't match any that I am aware of."
Finally, he stopped talking past me, and gave me a response that wasn't complete nonsense! "I don't even know what an angel is!"
My exasperation was growing as vast as my patience was thin. He didn't answer me, even now!
Did my flawless intimidation, in fact, fail? "Speak openly with me! Your riddles are too great for me, I fear. If this is a test, then I may have failed already. Cherub? Angel? Blaspheme? Order?! I do not know the meaning of these words! I cannot answer! Speak to me in the language of the gods!"
"That is enough," and he waived his hands, dismissively. "You are not of my world... or you would have been surely smitten. Your faith is enough to prove my theory, because anyone in my world would know the danger that such words hold. It is a universal law, that you do not tempt His wrath.
"I believe that your faith is true, which is the only reason why He does not affect you; as faith overwhelms understanding. Tell me, do you truly believe in this Electra?"
What a question! I didn't even know such a thing could be asked, in truth.
How could anyone doubt, when our life is so wholly an extension of hers?! I would have laughed if any mortal had said such words to me.
"Yes, absolutely so! Are you trying to tell me that you do not?"
"In my world, she is just a fantasy. No more than the tales of Gilgamesh or the Sumerian tale of Nammu."
What he spoke of were folk tales that were common upon the apostates in humankind. It is unthinkable to compare our evident pantheon as such objective delusions!
I do not believe it, and I will not!
"Stop... No, you're just trying to trick me, again!" A world without the gods?
Surely such a thing cannot be permitted to exist! All life comes from Khaos, as is all of creation! My head strains painfully when I even consider it.
"I'm afraid not, my dear." he smiled, exposing sharp rows of flawless pristine teeth to me. Now, his doubts were made clear in my reaction. "Have you ever stepped out of the country of Greece? Is there even a world beyond the nation's borders, for you?"
I shook my head. He was somehow, completely correct.
I had never witness such a thing as other nations. In fact, I never left the islands where I was spawned! "How did you know?"
"Your kind guide wandering souls to the gates of the underworld, according to lore. You must spend your whole lives on the Strophades, unless ordered to seek a man before his time by your gods. I assumed you are a... what's the name? It is harpy, yes? You appear as many men have depicted you, at least."
It couldn't be... It didn't make sense!
You understand what I mean, now, when I say his words wound me.
None of the things he told me so far seem wholly incorrect, but of my own purpose. I exist to edify the wills of human beings, as was explained to me by the leader of my brood, long ago.
What is this talk of the underworld?! When have I ever taken a man in my life?
Not ever!
Yet a nagging suspicion hangs over me, as always. The mystery of what it is that my sisters leave for those long periods of time, on a so-called "holy mission."
Every once in a decade a sister must leave the islands for weeks at a time. They always return so expectantly changed.
Their spirits are dulled, and their songs lose potency. Could this be where they are called to do?
Could this truly be our actual purpose?
I will not accept it. I must talk to the elders for further proof. For, why would they lie? To me, and all my sisters, would I be blinded by sorrow to know my cause is not of glory, but macabre?
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't see straight.
My feathers grew damp with sweat, as I looked to the heavens for reprieve.
It had to be a lie! but why do his lies haunt me so?
I woke up screaming. It was too much, all at once.
I suddenly understood even less than I had the night before.
Ever since, I have put all my energy into writing this down as quickly and accurately as I remember it, for a future reference.
It may all be nonsense, but... what if it's true?! I would hate to have misunderstood.
Now, I must toss this parchment aside, and go.